The Big DumpTruck

Saw this at the mall last night when I was running an errand. Hard to tell if it was coming or going, but I assume it's up for the Mother's Day crowd.

For the record, I do not want to go to a mall parking lot carnival for Mother's Day. Sure, I'm a fan of mall parking lot carnivals in general, but not for Mother's Day. Those are for Father's Day.

Labels: fun, holidays, weather

Okay, all the cool kids probably knew this, but I'm a Hall of Famer. I'm a rock star. I'm a goodness-to-gracious web celeb. CMonks added me to his Hall of Fame over at Utter Wonder today.

This is the moment I've been dreaming of ever since I realized that you can't be Miss America if you are older than 30 and have been married for 15 years. Well, I hit 15 years in 2 weeks, but you get my point.

I said to myself, "Self, if you can't be Miss America, or be one of the kids who gets to be on the box of Kraft Macaroni and Cheese, you could at least be in the Hall of Fame at Utter Wonder because he has absolutely no requirements other than that you ask. And I can do that! I'm a good asker!"

So there I am.

And for the record, I do like dolphins. They are cool. Not as cool as rhinos, but hey, what is?

Labels: award, fun, websites

Here is the part of the website where I try to entertain you by making up a story and trying to convince you it's absolutely true. Well, I will place two true "truthiness nuggets" in the story, and your job will be to try to determine which those are.

I was eating lunch at Johnny Rockets at the Burlington Mall when I realized I'd left my wallet in the car. This was not cool because, well, Mrs. Rocket was staring at me with a bill in her hand and I couldn't very well tell her that I did not have any money. I scanned the restaurant to see if I knew anybody, and was shocked and amazed to see Mike Lowell eating a #12 with his family. It turns out Mike is a big fan of the "red red sauce" that they put on the #12, and he often eats there four or five times a week. Now me, if I was a big famous sports star, I would ask if they could hook me up with a bottle of the stuff, but maybe he just enjoys spending quality time at the mall. You never know.
But you thought I was going to ask Mike if he could cover my bill for me, right? Wrong. I could not do that. But what I could do is ask Mike if he was interested in buying my watch from me. It's a Timex Ironman Triathlon watch with Indiglo, so you can tell what time it is in the dark. I told him I'd sell it to him for $19.65, which covered my bill plus a hearty 10% tip. (Only 10% because Mrs. Rockets forgot to bring me my fries and she forced me to do the ketchup all by myself instead of doing the first pour for me. Beeatch.
Mike inspected the watch for wear and tear and told me he'd give me a full twenty for it, which was fantastic. I didn't want to give Mrs. Rockets the extra 35 cents, but I felt it would be awkward to ask her for it. But then, Mike Lowell paid for the watch using giant handfuls of change. I'm not even sure how he got all that change into his pockets. He may have been carrying it in some sort of man bag. And you should totally not make fun of him for carrying a man bag because on him it would look very very cool, unless it had some kind of Hello Kitty design on it. I'm not saying he's partial to Hello Kitty, but really, could you blame the man? It's so damned cute!
So I handed Mrs. Rockets the twenty, and thanked her for a lovely meal. On the way out of the restaurant I noticed they had a giant gumball machine. I love gumballs, and couldn't believe I'd just tossed away that extra thirty five cents. All I needed for a gumball was twenty five cents, you see. So I made eye contact with Mike Lowell again and nodded toward the gumball machine. He got up from his table and came over to me, and used his manly baseball muscles to push over the huge gumball machine like it was so many Q-Tips. The ball on top shattered, and hundreds of gumballs flooded the entryway to Johnny Rockets. I gave Mike Lowell and thankful nod and as I grabbed a handful of gumballs, careful to avoid the ones with glass in them, I whispered "until next time."

Labels: fun, Red_Sox, restaurants

I am a happy girl. I have in front of me

1. My MacBook Pro with a wireless connection to the internet
2. a cup of coffee that Mr. Dump made from whole Dunkin Donuts beans ground by the coffeemaker right before brewing
   
3. a bowl of Special K Red Berries

All of these things made more special because I am enjoying my breakfast for the first time out on the deck. Goodbye, winter, don't let the door hit you on the way out.

Labels: food, fun, spring

We could skip the candy if you would just bring me a warm, sunny day. I realize that Easter is way early this year, so normally we're dealing with April temps instead of March ones, but still, I have certain expectations about Easter that just aren't going to be met.

Historically (and I mean back when I was a kid through recent years with my kid) after Easter dinner we would get in the car and drive over to the Leominster State Forest and look for salamanders and fish. I know, seems silly, but you must know, Easter Bunny, that you were the one who would bring us the butterfly nets that we used to catch the salamanders. You do remember that, don't you?

We took all the kids (and when I say that I'm referring to my son, niece and nephew) to the park a couple of times to either throw a frisbee, a baseball, or fly a kite. All things I do not want to do tomorrow because it's going to be too cold. So I'll ask again; instead of sugary stuff, can you give me a 55 degree day with puffy clouds and no wind? That would rock. (Of course, I wouldn't turn down the warm day AND some of those chocolate covered marshmallow rabbits that I love...)

Labels: fun, holidays, kids, weather

If I can say "Well, at least my ass didn't grow around my toilet seat" I'm having a good day.

Labels: fun, holy_crap, News, odd

Longtime fans of the Big DumpTruck know that I have odd obsessions. Some come and some go. Some appear to come and go because I don't talk about them as much as I used to. Michael "Lord of the Dance" Flatley, ice cream trucks, and Adam West come to mind (because I used to do a weekly Lord of the Dance update and talk about Adam West sightings, which I don't do any more. I still love them both.)

My current obsession is with garden gnomes. I'm not sure how it happened, but it did. I love them. I don't own any, but that's part of the appeal. Not having one means I get to focus my life on finding just the perfect one.

So now my family points out any television show or commercial that features garden gnomes. It's nice to have people trying to make me happy. Yesterday Mr. Dump sent me a link to a YouTube cartoon that had a very small garden gnome appearance that made me laugh out loud.

And today in the news there's an awesome report of a garden gnome terrorizing a small town in Argentina. Viva la scary gnome!

Labels: fun, gnomes, News, video

I seem to recall seeing something on television (No! Really?) where a bully would wet his finger or thumb with saliva and then rub the thumb on the glasses of the nearest glasses-wearing nerd. Such fun for the nerd! Bully spit at close view!

Today my right contact lens feels like someone did the same thing. Is it possible to have a finger print on a contact lens? I need to go check it out before my 10am meeting, because I don't want to spend two ours with a Popeye-like squint on my face. Sure, maybe if I had a pipe and a can of spinach, but not without my props, thanks.

Labels: eyes, fun, glasses

Okay, quick, tell me what this is:

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If you guessed "Mr. Dump playing Guitar Hero with the television muted" you'd be right!

My God, that is just a horrifying treat for the whole family if only one person is playing and the others are surfing the web on their laptops while they sit in the recliner, pondering the meaning of life and re-doing the household budget so that there is a small amount of cash available so that you can eat dinner at Chilis because you have a fierce addiction to their chips and salsa. (Yes, I am reduced to wanting to spend money on chips and salsa. I think that's better than trying to figure out how to get $400 to buy a replacement video camera, anyway.)

Anyhoo, thank you for playing. And someone promise me that a version of Guitar Hero for Wii will come out with something other than "Legends of Rock" or whatever this is. I hate 80% of the songs on here, and if I have to listen to Miss Murder one more time I'm going to scream. I have an idea. They should come out with a classical guitar version of G.H. You could play like Andres Segovia or something.

Labels: fun, music, odd, wii

Okay, maybe this will go faster once I get used to the software. Or if I hire someone to do it for me. That person will also figure out how to make the files smaller. Sorry.

Here is the first podcast, stored on my mac.com site because all the tools I use made it easy to do that. If you click on the "subscribe" button it will add the podcast to your iTunes list and any time I do a new one it will get picked up automatically. That's what we all want, right?

THE DUMPCAST IS HERE!

Labels: fun, itunes, podcast, video

I have to tell you, my husband must be sucking up or something. Because I got home and there was a fake log burning in the fireplace. Now I will not admit to myself or anyone else that this is because the fake logs REEK and he wants to burn them all to get them out of the house. I think they smell like liquid smoke, which stinks. And it stinks when you have a fake log that smells like liquid smoke.

No, I like to think he did it because he knows I like fires and he's just being a nice guy. I'm sticking with that.

Labels: fun

It's that time of year again! NaNoWriMo 2007 is upon us, and if you haven't signed up yet, go sign up and then join us on the Nano blog I'm setting up for more detailed posting and sharing. Last year 5 of us contributed to that blog, and we were all happy and sad to see December arrive. (You don't have to sign up to just read, but if you want to contribute, sign up and then let me know to "upgrade" you.)

So I woke up this morning, declared the word "The" to be the first word of my novel and dozed off for another 10 minutes. Writing is hard work. Since then I have decided that "The" is probably not going to be the first word, but no editing allowed when you're trying to write 50,000 words in a month, so I'll just write around the "the" and use it later.

For those waiting for Disney pictures, I have to work my way through about 5 gig worth of them. For those of you not waiting for Disney pictures, be happy, I haven't gone through them all yet.

Labels: fun, nanowrimo, writing

Okay, we won't be giving away Junior Mints because we bought them too early and ate them all. We're only human, you know. We tried to buy something Mr. Dump doesn't like so that they'd stand a chance of lasting until the 31st, which meant Peanut Butter Cups and Kit Kats were right out.

How was I supposed to know he liked Junior Mints? He never buys them or anything.

At Target we found these little plastic gliders for the same price as candy. I figure giving a kid an airplane is probably better than giving jawbreakers, right?

And that way there's more candy for me.

Labels: candy, fun, Halloween

After a long and winding ride home from New Hampshire today (the better to take pictures with, my pretty!) we stopped at the Playground in Lunenburg again, and got stuck in a brief downpour. At one point, it was raining on one side of the car but not on the other. Weather is really cool when it isn't trying to kill you.

I realized we should be able to see a rainbow and found it. And we were stunned to see that the darker one (which was so dark that in person you could actually see the violet, which I normally can't see) ended at....a gold tree. And as you can see by the photo, it's the only gold tree in our line of site.

Thank you, rainbow!

Labels: fun, photos

It's hard to live an exciting life. First people want you to pose on a box of Kraft Mac and Cheese, then they expect you to attend ribbon cutting and key to the city ceremonies. It's all so much work. I live a modest life. I get up in the morning, and Mike Lowell brings me bacon and eggs in bed (over medium, bacon extra crispy but not burnt). After I eat he dabs at my lips with a linen napkin and tells me he's going to go get 4 hits for me in the game and I tell him "you do that, babycakes."

After that, I take a shower and brush my teeth like every other good American. I have to take a phone call from the President because he needs to know what color underwear to use that day. "Today is Tuesday, so look for the blue ones with 'Tuesday' written on the band." So now you know...if it wasn't for me, the POTUS would wear the same undies every day of the week.

To keep myself grounded, I updated the Still Life with Interview page on the site for the first time in about a year and a half. But you guys are totally worth it. Just click on the tab up there on the top left. I know, it's an iffy one, but I'm easing into these high-level updates, you know?

Labels: fun, lies, Red_Sox

So I was asked to leave a NorthEast Airlines flight yesterday because my outfit was too revealing. I know that normally I do wear pants, but it was pretty hot yesterday, and plus, I got tar all over them after I finished my shift on the road crew repaving Harvard Street.

I didn't think anyone would mind because I had pulled my shirt down, but the flight attendant, the pilot, two passengers and the guy who wears headphones and holds those red sticks to tell the plan when to stop all asked me to leave the plane and put on something more decent. They did offer to give me a stapler and a pile of luggage tags to see if I could fashion something myself without having to leave the gate area, but I ran out of staples and the little strings on the tags were tickling me.

So I missed my flight, which was going to the Arctic Circle. I'm really bummed, because I was going to try to take some photos. I haven't really added much to my flickr album lately.

Labels: fun, lies, travel

Let's see. Probably time to do that post where I try to make my life more exciting. I should post about something that could never ever ever happen in real life, certainly not to anybody I know.

So this morning my dog discovered a naked bank robber passed out by my pool.

What do you think, too unbelievable?

Labels: fun, lies

Earlier this summer we promised Junior we would rent a convertible and just drive it around for the day, thus getting that need to feel the wind in our hair and bugs in our teeth right out of our systems.

So Sunday we went up to the Manchester Airport and rented this Mustang for the day - total price approx. $125. (If you decide to do this near you, the new rules say you have to either have return flight information or a utility bill in order to use a debit card. Just FYI.)

We took the car over to Maine for the day - it was a big chilly at first, especially driving on the highway, but by the time we got to Kittery it really started warming up. And because we have a new TomTom navigation system, we decided to just drive on any road that looked interesting, knowing that we'd be able to plug in Jane (we call our TomTom the same thing my brother-in-law calls his - Jane is the voice they use) and she'd get us home no matter how "lost" we were. It really makes road trips MUCH more interesting. In fact, we took a road we'd never been on (route 103) and stumbled upon Fort McClary, a fantastic, fabulous find. See my flickr photostream for some cool shots taken at the Fort.

Labels: car, fun, photos, weekend

The place we're staying is surrounded by killer rabbits. At least, that's what we call them. Actually, now we call them the No Trespassing Rabbits because obviously they don't care for our signs and warnings.

So far we've seen a ton of rabbits, a doe, and a fox. Deb thought there was a fishercat sort of growling in the tall grass near the house, but we don't have a visual confirmation on that. It definitely wasn't a rabbit. Well, it could have been a killer rabbit, I suppose.

Last night we had a pouring rainstorm (we estimated about an inch of rain based on what was inside a large plastic bin we had out on the deck and had emptied earlier in the day. This morning it's just dank and foggy and we all feel completely wet. They say there will be sun later today, but it may rain again. That's okay, we haven't been to a Christmas Tree Shop yet, plus we still need to find some pirate ships that will actually float in the water. You know, the life of a vacationing 9-year-old is a busy one.

[More pictures uploaded, including another version of the sun behind clouds photo from Sunday]

Labels: fun, photos, Vacation

Packing to go on vacation = fun and exciting because the whole vacation is just a week of possibilities waiting on the golden horizon.

Packing to come home = sucks.

We are doing the former. In a week, we do the latter. I will have my laptop with me to pull photos off my camera, and apparently the house has wifi, so you may just have something to read/look at over the course of the week, depending on how often I pull out the laptop.

I know you're going to miss me, so I'm going to remind you of a game I rediscovered (via a bookmark I made of it) so that you can keep busy. Idle minds being the devil's workshop and all.
http://rfshq.com/forum/games/virus2.swf

Labels: fun, link, Vacation

Yesterday was laundry day around Casa Des DumpTrucks. I think I personally did 375 loads of laundry. I know that there were parts of the floor I hadn't seen in months that are now part of the family again.

We celebrated laundry day by, um, doing laundry. We also took in a showing of The Simpsons (only a couple of iffy words, I was more concerned about the content of the preview for Good Luck Chuck, or whatever it's called, which seemed to me to be more R than PG-13, given that the entire thing was about sex) and got some shampoo at Target. (Pantene, I got the one that has shampoo and conditioner combined because I'm so damned lazy that I cannot be bothered to do them both if it involves flipping the cap on two different bottles. I haven't done a 2-in-1 shampoo since Pert was first introduced in the Middle Ages and I hated how greasy it made my hair.)

Oh, okay, we also celebrated laundry day by playing a round of Travel Blokus (tip 'o the hat to utterwonder.com for bringing Blokus to my attention) and Mario Party 8 on the Wii. And then I ended laundry day by pretending I had enough money to buy a wide angle lens for my camera. (Anyone have an opinion on the Sigma 10-20mm? Is it too slow to use indoors?)

Okay, so I added a script to the page that will automatically turn key terms into Amazon.com links. Let's see how much of the above ends up sending you all on shopping sprees...

Labels: camera, chores, fun, shopping, Sunday

I'm the kind of person who finds planning a vacation as relaxing and enjoyable as going on one. Maybe more so, because when you are planning, everything and anything is possible, there are no lines or bugs or heat, no need to pull out the credit card every fifteen minutes, no maps to read or refold. I love trying to pick just the right hotel at just the right location. I could spend hours on travel websites looking at the interiors of hotel rooms. I'm smart enough to know that if a hotel's website only shows closeups of the pillows on the bed or the bedside table, the room is probably the size of a small dog.

So every time we go to Florida (and sometimes even when we aren't going) I am in planning mode times 12. I get books. I read websites (lots of them) and my favorite email newsletter from allearsnet.com (If you enjoy Disney and don't get this weekly newsletters, your Tuesdays are a cold and dank place I don't want to be.) Remember, one of my photos is on their website (scroll all the way down - the last photo on the page is mine.)

This time around, Mr. Dump asked to be the planner guy, and I said yes. So my role has been greatly reduced. I only got one updated guide (I'm saving all my old ones...some day we'll read and look at the pictures and say "oh my gosh, it hasn't been like that for 10 years!"). But I also got a book called Oddball Florida: A Guide to Some Really Strange Places (Oddball series). It's really really good and now I want to take a trip to Florida and just hit all these awful tourist attractions! By the way, my new favorite street name comes from the location of the Water Ski Hall of Fame and Museum - it is located on Holy Cow Road in Polk City. Holy Cow Road! I want to live on Holy Cow Road!

So that's all I have to say today. I'm still killing time. I can tell you, I won't be finishing the Oddball Florida book in the next few days.

Labels: florida, fun, photos, Vacation, wierd

My friend Andrea entered a contest to make a video for the Jonathan Coulton song "I Feel Fantastic" over at the PopSci (Popular Science) blog. She is not an animator, and I actually helped her out a smidge by forwarding a list of Mac animation software links. This is my only claim to fame related to her endevor.

She won the contest, and her fabulously fantastic video is available on YouTube.

Labels: friends, fun, movies, music

I was at Target tonight, you know, because that's where I live, looking at some fans for the house. We need one for our spare bedroom (which is not so spare when my step kids are visiting) so I was checking prices on some. A woman who was browsing with a male companion approached me and said "excuse me, do you have any box fans?"

Me: "I'm sorry?"

Her: "Do you have any box fans?"

Me: "Me personally? No. I, uh, don't work here."

Her: "Oh my gosh, I'm sorry!"

My shirt wasn't even really red, more brick-ish. Sheesh.

So now I'm thinking I should get a real red shirt, have a nametag made up, and wander the aisles or Target giving bad advice.

Labels: fun, shopping, Target

You are not going to be able to read about a few things here today because I am not going to write about them. If you came here to read up on these topics, I'm truly sorry. Maybe next week I will want to write about them, but for now, I will not.

• My favorite knock-knock jokes that involve dwowning
• Why I prefer ketchup on my roast beef sandwich
• The benefits of salt
• My favorite air drumming songs
• Why a blue pen is better than a black one
• Paris Hilton's prison-issued underwear woes
• How often the 1920 Girl Scout handbook says you should wash your hair
• The horror of watching your 3rd grader become a 4th grader overnight
• Why mentioning Paris Hilton and Lindsey Lohan is only good for attracting random visitors but not your loyal readers who prefer, say, Fred Mertz prison jokes
• Suggestions for how to weed through all the coffee cups you have received at trade shows to keep the number under 8
• Words I can make from my phone number(s)
• Things Mr. Dump won't be getting for fathers day

I'm sorry I'm not going to be talking about those things. Maybe if you all feel very strongly about one or more of them, you can convince me to cover the topic. Otherwise, tough it out, people.

Labels: fun, writing

As you can see, Junior is attempting to milk the big fiberglass cow at Sturbridge Village. You can see it in the cow's eyes...she's not happy. Not happy at all. The boys, on the other hand, thought this was great. In fact, we made three trips to Ye Olde Milking Station. Bossy was full of water, and on a hot day, if you aim it juuuuust right, you can spray each other. Now that is a great way to make sure the bus loads of 9 year old boys will tell everyone they had a great time on the field trip.

I have to say, they have made a lot of improvements at Old Sturbridge Village since the last time I was there, and although I'm greatly saddened by the fact that they have apparently closed the restaurant, they are making improvements to other buildings. Do me a favor, and schedule a trip down some time this summer. I know they've had financial issues and I'd hate to see such a great place close. Plus you can milk a fiberglass cow.

Labels: Cow, fun, junior, summer

Okay, I know you're all sick to death of ant posts. Well, maybe some of you aren't. So if you are, I promise, the next post I write will be about something else. But this one is not.

Mr. Dump called me with some very important information today. Apparently the ant supply company sent us more ants. More killer ants! It's my dream package! Of course, I'm pretty sure that if we added them to the ant farm they would immediately start a turf war and then all the ants would be dead before morning. They are like that. So I have a few hours to figure out what to do with these things. No freaking way can I release them. That's all I need, is a back yard full of harvester ants [waves to Dave G]. Anyone local to Leominster have an ant farm lacking ants? If you do, post here in the next couple of hours, otherwise, the poor suckers are probably going to have a burial at sea.

Labels: ants, fun

Labels: fun, holy_crap, video

Oh man, it's time to cut out snowflakes again. I need to make sure my step-son reads this, as he was obsessed last year. This site, which looks very similar to the one we used to use, will make him happy because you can actually cut in the middle of the paper, not just from the edges (which, to be fair, is a limit you have when you are making them with real paper, for the most part.)

You can also search for flakes done by people with the same name as you, or people from your town. I'm not the first person from Leominster to play with this!

Labels: fun, time_waster, winter