The Big DumpTruck

I'm not sure how it happened. I thought I had put June in my purse, next to my wallet and my car keys, but then when I went to look for it, it wasn't there. I checked the counters, but you know, they are a bit messy at my house. I have plenty of bits of this and that on the counter, bags of doggie treats and little boy treats, but no June. As hard as I looked for it, it simply wasn't there.

I looked in the trunk of my car, under the folding chairs, baseball equipment and kites, but there was no sign of June; none at all.

It's as if June up and disappeared on me. I suppose I will just have to get resigned to the idea that June is missing and won't be found, and focus my attention on July. I really don't want to lose July the way I lost June so I'm going to keep closer watch on it. Starting tomorrow, when I take an extra day off to spend some quality time with it. Just me and July, maybe going for a road trip, buying ice cream, listening to some tunes. I think July and I are going to get along really well.

Labels: humor, summer, Vacation

Junior [okay, really, me] is responsible for selling a box of candy bars for Little League. So I brought the box into work, because really, how many candy bars have I bought over the years?

Every day I put a new sign on the box, showing off my mad sales skillz. For two days I touted them has "health bars" [mental health, silly!] and Jon Lester's Secret Weapon. Today, I posted the following sign. I'll let you know which was the most effective.

Labels: gnomes, humor, junior

This was a story about a parrot that was able to provide the authorities it's name and address. Keen eyes at CNN.com missed the typo shown here.

I like the twist on the lost parent, because that's a trick used to keep a lost kid calm. You don't say the kid is lost, you say the parent is lost.

Labels: humor, News

[*Updated to fix the broken links*]

I rule. I now have the Mr. Deity theme song as my ringtone, just like Mr. Deity does (except when he has Elton John's "The Bitch is Back").

"Who is Mr. Deity?" you ask?

Mr. Deity may be the greatest thing since sliced bread. If you really want a behind the scenes look at what it's like to be The Deity and to create the heavens and earth and whether or not we're really supposed to take Sundays off, you should hike over to the Mr. Deity site and either watch the copies there or download the podcast to take it with you wherever you go on your video-enabled iPod.

I'm still floored that something this good is available for free.

Labels: fun, humor, link, video

Ask anyone who wrote a journal (or letters) when they were a pre-teen or a teenager and they will tell you it was deep and meaningful and captured the deep and important moments of one's life. Okay, so fast forward and read some of those journal entries and cringe, baby. Wait, you didn't write one? Well you have to go share the love at Mortified: Angst Written.

This site is a multi-media journal karaoke for the ages. Real people (some celebs, some not) read from their original journals. The real words. The real feelings. It is as funny as you might imagine.

I doubled over with laughter watching this month's featured video. Real Live Actors perform a script written back when the author was 15. Kevin McDonald's part made me weep with laughter (I love his work, but the lines he was given were the real star here.)

So that's my fun link for the weekend. And don't even tell me that it doesn't make you want to go look for your old notebooks and journals!

Labels: humor, video, websites

Here is today's list. You can't have the first one, that one is mine.

The Adventures of Keychain and Neil
40 Ways to Prepare Cold Cereal
The Rat in the Hat
Helmet Hair: Spending Too Much Time Playing Halo
Even More Ways to Prepare Cold Cereal

p.s. I think I successfully removed the snippet of code that was automatically adding links to key words in the blog to Amazon products. Some of the links were too odd. So from now on, if there's a link to an Amazon Product in an entry, I added it there myself.

Labels: humor, lists, writing

Hellish morning! First I don't want to wake up but the stupid birds (I hate them with a white hot fire that consumes my soul) are back. I guess I need to figure out how to borrow a shotgun again. Oh, and then? No hot water.

And after all that, I go down stairs and the entire first floor is missing. I have no idea if the dog buried it in the back yard or what.

I hate April Fool's Day.

:-)

Labels: complaints, holidays, humor

Junior has to write an essay over the weekend. His first big-boy homework! The subject is "My First ____". They had to brainstorm ideas for a topic, then they had to fill in a sheet that basically was a way of drafting the essay. He was actually pretty far along with it already, so I have no doubt this one is in the bag.

His essay is "My First Red Sox Game" which happened to occur a month or so ago. That's right, my son, the nine year old, had never been to a game, mostly because it's impossible to get tickets. These were the crappy seats you get for free (one game) when you join Red Sox Nation.

Anyhoo, he and I got to talking about First Person Narratives that you just don't want to read. He and I started a list, and I will continue it for you.

My First Diaper Rash
The First Time I Ate Peas
My First Poo
The First Time I Watched Blue's Clues
My First Big Boy Underwear

Labels: essay, humor, junior, school

I had to stop by and see my friend Peg today, and we made arrangements to meet up at Hampton Beach. I of course took at least a couple of photos. This is one that I like just because I'm sort of stunned by how close the Church is to the water slides. As in practically touching. Maybe parents bribe their kids to go to Mass in the summer?

Feel free to check out the whole set on Flickr.

Labels: beach, flickr, humor, winter

Among the other things Santa showered on Junior was a small handheld Deal or No Deal game.

There is something wrong with the game though, and I couldn't get it to turn on yesterday. Mr. Dump was able to somehow get it running, and played a single game, winning $750,000 bucks. (I resisted the urge to give my notice at work this morning.)

I just got the following email from the homefront:

Junior: Dad, my Deal or No Deal won't turn on.
Dad: I know. I think it's broken.
Junior: How did you turn it on the last time?
Dad: (hitting it against the counter) I hit it.
::: Music plays - game starts :::
Junior: Thanks... I think.

Labels: humor, junior