The Big DumpTruck

So party details...

What started out as us looking to plan a small party for Junior's 7th birthday ended with us renting out an entire movie theater for a private showing of Spongebob for 80 or so of our friends, family, classmates, etc. Hell, even my accountant was there! (Okay, so he happens to be married to a friend of mine...still...) This was justified by realizing it could be a party for Junior (Jan 6), my step-daughter (Jan 20) me (Jan 27), my step-son (Feb 4) and Mr. Dump (Feb 6).

If I do say so myself, it was a rousing success. We invited whole families, even those from his class. I didn't want to be responsible for watching anyone's kid, so when I got an RSVP call, I just said "And who will be coming with [name]?" All siblings were invited too. We provided popcorn and soda for each kid, too. People actually had a hard time comprehending that we were inviting their whole family to the movies, giving them popcorn, and that we had requested no gifts. Really, what's the catch? Are we selling timeshares?

Nope, we just wanted a big crowd. There were 41 kids in all. We ended up plowing through 1.5 sheet cakes (anyone want leftovers?). For the record, the chocolate cake was almost completely gone. I highly recommend getting your cakes at Joyce's in Leominster, next to the Bagel Inn. And get the sugar frosting, not the butter cream. Trust me.

I had SO much fun that I immediately told Mr. Dump we have to do this every year. Next year would be the 1st anniversary of my 40th birthday, etc. Of course, I can't guarantee having a cool movie like Spongebob being available, but I have a feeling once the parents realized they could buy beer and wine to go with that grilled chicken and pesto sandwich, they don't care what movie is playing. (For the record, I went for the deep fried ravioli and a 24oz Bud Light. Now that is movie food, my friends.)

[I took a couple of pictures, but it's wayyyy too dark in a movie theater, even before the show starts. I'm going to play with Paint Shop Pro to see if I can lighten them up enough to post them.]

My Sidekick has been down much of today, I believe from a hardware upgrade gone horribly wrong. I don't know...I can't use the phone to find out.

What gives me great solace in all this is the ability to say, with 100% confidence, that Paris Hilton and I are suffering from Sidekick withdrawal together. Lindsey Lohan too. They can be the biggest celebs in the National Enquirer World, and when it comes right down to it, Little Jody from Leominster MA and Paris have the same phone, and the same issues. Cool, huh?

Oh, so party info tomorrow, I swear. In the meantime, go with Mr. Crunchy a happy last day before 40. I want to loan him my 40 tiara. Maybe he can Photoshop his face in to my picture (below).

I think I'm ready. I tried on my crown and it looks fine, if I do say so myself. I think I'm going to go back and get a whole bunch of them, you know, just for every day. I don't know why we don't wear tiaras more often, really.




I'm on the phone in that picture. Sorry about that, but it does make it look more like I'm just wearing the tiara around the house going about my normal business, doesn't it?

I was thinking I should do a whole Courtney Love bad makeup prom-from-hell thing, but I don't want to scare off all the kids in Junior's class.

Ah, the eve of the big birthday bash. Tomorrow is the celebration for my birthday, along with all the other family members with birthdays between Jan 6 and Feb 6. Of course, most of the people I invited for me are unable to make it so it really is mostly a party for Junior. I hope he doesn't think we're going to throw this big a party every year.

I will have many more details after the party tomorrow. I also invited a handful of the local readers (those who participate the most, really) to represent the group. I hard back from 3, and 2 can make it. (I keep wondering if the 4th person actually got the invitation. I'm sure all of you are now thinking you were the 4th invitee. That's actually very clever on my part, isn't it? Sure, each and every one of you was the 4th invitee!)

Okay, so enough about that. We finalized our vacation house rental on the Cape this weekend, and now I'm just going to count the days until August. Good Lord, I'm sick of winter! Lastly, I took Junior to get him fitted for his ski boots. I just remembered why I don't ski. I hate crowds, and I hate crowds where everyone knows what they are doing except me. I wanted to run screaming, but couldn't. SO many people. I guess it being 40 for the first time in a month helped drag everyone out. But I don't ski...never have (well, I did cross-country for a very brief while, but I'm talking downhill) and mostly likely never will. I think I'm just not cool enough. And I only like to do things where I know exactly what's expected of me. That is totally not the case with the whole skiing thing.

Well, I guess I'm just glad it's only four weeks. I'm sure Mr. Dump is going to want nothing to do with this. He's like me, except he'll just back out and leave it up to me, cause he knows that *I* will take Junior no matter how much I hate it. [I sound chipper don't I?]

Go ahead, say it. Say I don't look a day over 39. And then I'll respond "I look *2* days over 39!"

Once members of my family actually remembered it was my birthday, of course (hey thanks for the call this morning, sis! I'm guessing you will be adding a few items to the bag of presents you bought me, huh?). It was uncle Crank's birthday yesterday too, so I should mention that here.

I have a couple of favorite restaurants that I don't get to eat at very often because of Junior's limited acceptable food list. So we don't go to those unless he's not with us. I was telling my mother that I wanted to go to the Japanese steakhouse at Chopsticks, but we would have to wait on it until she could watch him and it wasn't a school night. Here's the interesting thing - when I picked Junior up at aftercare, the first thing he asked me was where I wanted to have my birthday dinner. And then, with no prompting, he said "And we can even go to the Japanese restaurant at the Chinese restaurant if you want." I was floored. How did he pick that, remembering that I liked it, of all the places we go or have gone to?

In the end, though, it turns out that you can't order any of the Chinese restaurant food (what Junior would have eaten) if you are sitting in that section, so it will have to wait. Instead, I called my favorite restaurant and asked if they had anything on the menu with pasta and red sauce. The person who answered told me they had a seafood cacciatore. Well, I said my 7 year old wouldn't want that, and he said "We have marinara, and we have pasta, so we'll take care of you."

Wow! That means that for the first time ever, we'd be able to take Junior out to eat at my favorite restaurant, the Monument Grill! It's my once-a-year place, but I love it. The sweet potato ravioli are killer (I get the appetizer because I find getting it as an entree is just overwhelming), and there is a wonderful pinot grigio on the menu. Mom and Dad joined us, and I realized they'd never been there. How can that even be possible? Anyway, it was a great meal with good company. I was a happy girl.

Oh, and for those of you who aren't familiar, yes, that is Monument Grill as in Monument, the name of the town in the book I Am The Cheese by Robert Cormier. Cormier, a Leominster resident, had based it Leominster. This restaurant is across the street from Monument Park, which is where Cormier got the name. (I actually assume the restaurant is named after the park, but by default it covers both.) That's your English 101 class for today. Recess!

The city of Leominster used there little sidewalk plow-y thing and getting out of my street this morning was a breeze. I could totally see oncoming traffic so I didn't feel I was taking my life in my hands. I don't remember them doing that last year, but maybe we didn't have such scary mounds of snow. So big dumps up to the plowmasters.

My new age hasn't sunk in yet. I'm sure it will.

Thank God I talk about myself on my website or certain family members who shall remain nameless would never have remembered to call me today. Ahem. Not that I would have held a grudge, but there certainly would have been a really great dump entry about it.

Loot: Sidetable from Pier One, Arrested Development Season One, and, to feed my inner child, the DVD boxed set of Liddsville. Now all they have to do is release the Bugaloos on DVD and I'll be a happy little kid.

Okay, obligatory picture of my kid out in the snow. What he's standing in is what's new since the last storm. That's also why I left the rubbish barrels in the picture - we had rubbish pickup on Monday, so that's all new snow on top of those babies.

It's not as bad as on the Cape (did you guys see the picture on the front page of the Globe yesterday - the houses looked like the inside of a freezer. It looked SO cool, but that's only because I don't live down there and my house wasn't encased in ice.

So Junior didn't have school and Mr. Dump told me the commute in was horrendous, so I guess that answers that question. Actually, it's only 9:50am and there's already a good four inches out there, and they say it isn't going to stop snowing until tomorrow morning - so did they up the accumulation predictions? If it keeps up at this rate, I'm guessing we'll be getting at least another foot.

Is this how I wanted to spend my last day as a 39 year old? No. I wanted to go to work, and at lunch run to Borders at the Solomon Pond Mall. Now I'm pretty sure we aren't going anywhere today.

Pictures later, now off to shovel.

Proving that it's all a delicate balance between light and dark, sanity and insanity, winter and summer, yesterday I signed Junior up for 4 weeks of introductory ski lessons. Tonight I signed him up for Instructional League baseball. (Wait, my baby is too big for t-ball? Waaaaaaa!)

So now he wants to take his ski lessons NOW. And then he got angry when he heard that he had to wait for the snow to melt before Little League started. Ahhh, to be seven again.

Oh, by the way, here is some Junior Humor.

Him: You can come up now [to tuck him in]
Me: Okay, I'll be up in two shakes
Him: Bananas or no bananas?
Me: What?
Him: In the two shakes...

Oh man, just what we were missing around here...six more inches of snow!

I wonder if they'll cancel school or not. Ugh.

You know, it's just one of those days where I have nothing worth talking about. I have little bits of fluff floating around, but nothing you would be remotely interested in. Nothing to win me one of those bloggie-er awards. You know that's all I'm after.

I was going to rant about people who do 55 on route 495 (Ya, I'm talking about you, Miss 'My Car is twenty years old so apparently I have to treat it like a moped') but that's so "been there, done that."

I'm sad that Johnny Carson died, but I often read the National Enquirer, so I knew his emphysema was catching up with him. They had a photo of him and he looked bad. So maybe I wasn't as stunned by the news as others. He was great - I probably should look into the "best of" DVDs but I'm sure the price just jumped on anything Carson-related.

My cow-orker brought me back a souvenir from her Florida Vacation as an early birthday present. It's a grape lollipop. With a cricket in the middle of it. I wonder how low my blood sugar would have to be for me to unwrap that sucker (HA!)? I did complain to her that it was just my luck that the cricket is missing a leg. Isn't that always the way? Nobody takes pride in their workmanship any more. And here's an important question - do they use dead crickets to make these, or are the crickets alive until the molten sugar is poured in the mold? I'm guessing dead. I just hope it was fresh.

Okay, so for Christmas this year I bought my son and my sister's kids each a toy call a "Musini MagicSensor" (that was on sale for almost free at Amazon) that encourages movement by only playing music when you move. Your movements, the type and frequency, make the Musini play. The kids control the type of instrument, etc.

So my mom gave Junior a RoboSapian, as I've mentioned before. It's a remote-controlled robot.

Junior has rigged it up so he can sit on the couch and make the robosapian move, to make the Musini play music, thus entirely defeating the benefits of the Musini. That's my kid, always thinking.

Here is Yahoo's weather prediction for my birthday. I am not happy.

Thursday: Times of sun and clouds. Highs in the upper single digits and lows -6 to -10F.

Oh man, the joy of a snow day. My son was so excited that he got out of bed early. Because that's what you do when you have nothing to do...you get up early. If you have to be somewhere, you sleep until someone drags you out of bed kicking and screaming. Okay, so I was the one kicking and screaming this morning.

I've had my tea and my raisin toast (oh man, is there anything better on a cold winter's morning than raisin toast? God bless the Pepperidge Farm people. I don't buy it often because I could easily go through a loaf in 3 days. In fact, I gave half the loaf to my parents because I'm the only one who will eat anything with raisins in my house, and I have no room in my freezer for things that only one person will eat. It works out for my dad because my mom doesn't buy it for him very often so I'm like the big raisin bread-bearing hero.

I'm trying to get work done here without having to go in to work because Mr. Dump said 117 and 495 looked like they hadn't been touched, and the commute was awful. I don't want to have to drive down there if I don't have to (plus taking the boy in and making sure he's silent for any length of time is impossible). So he's playing video games - Rayman to be exact - in Spanish. I have no idea why. Well, he just wanted to see what it would be like to pick the Spanish language option. I told him the game wasn't going to change, just what they are saying. I will admit that I know 1000 times more French than Spanish, and the only thing I keep hearing that I recognize is "pantelones" but I can't figure out in what context they are talking about pants, so maybe I have the word wrong. It is a pain to have to deal with snow days. For some reason they are my job to deal with, even though I'm a contractor and I only get paid if I actually, you know, work. I think Mr. Dump has reached too high a level in his career to be able to take on Junior's sick and snow days. I'm grateful for his job and salary and all, and yet, part of me still wonders about it. Maybe I'm supposed to be a stay-at-home mom, and then it's a non-issue. Darn me and my burning need to pay the bills!

Thanks to Dump Reader Chuck, who decided to help me out on my quest to win Brad Pitt's heart.

Thanks Chuck, you're a pal. I think this is going to be my new background on the laptop. (I have Junior on my work system...see if I'm here, I can just look over on the couch and see him, so I don't need him on the wallpaper.)

I like the braid too. Smashing, I am!

(Click for a larger version)




In other snow-related news, school has already been cancelled for tomorrow. Could you hear the happy screams of schoolchildren all over Massachusetts? Except for the ones old enough to be forced to shovel out the family home.

Okay, the game is on now. You know what game I'm talking about, so don't even ask. We've got our lucky Athens pizza and our lucky side greek salad.

This would be much more fun if it were a work day/school day, y'know? Who wants a state of emergency on a weekend?

We're loaded up with snack foods, and some good stuff, of course, and the coffee maker works, so no worries. Except we're fighting about who will have to go out and try to remove two feet of snow from the driveway when there are sustained 30mph winds (windchill is somewhere around 15 below) with gusts to 50 MPH! As you can imagine, nobody wants to go out there.

I posted last night and the blogger kind of ate it, so I apologize for that. To show how much so, I invite you to pull up a chair and have some brunch on my deck:




Note the size of my mailbox



Somewhere under there is a Honda Accord

I tried to email to blogger last night and this disappeared, so I copied it from my outbox.

I am a very VERY unhappy girl right now. How on earth it happened, I don't know, but at some point today my SideKick got two scratches on the face that are actually so annoying and distracting that I'm going to have to figure out if the faceplate can be fixed or replaced. They distort some of the pixels and it's too annoying to ignore. I know they weren't there at swimming, so it happened sometime after that. Obviously I shouldn't keep it in the knife and razerblade pocket. Grrrr.


Also, why oh why oh why was this snowstorm so hard to predict. I mean, we're in the middle of getting 2 FEET of snow. Was it really that hard to see coming? As of yesterday morning the weather sites were STILL only predicting 4 inches of snow. I wish I'd done a screen shot of the report. Two days ago it was "snow possible". POSSIBLE? 16 to 25 inches of snow, people. That's not "possible". What good are the weather reporters who are too afraid to say something like "we think that maybe there will be a n'oreaster this weekend, but amounts depend on the storm track. Nobody went out to get prepared yesterday because the weather reports weren't talking about it until last night!

So ya, I'm mad. Just what exactly has happened to the local meteorologists that they have been so far off and unreliable this year? I mean seriously just missing the boat on stuff. I am almost to the point where I don't believe ANYTHING they say.

Jody Says: This is the perfect time of year to treat yourself to a little something special - lotions, bath salts, candles. This recently-discovered site is actually owned by my friend's sister, but she does have some great prices on some really neat stuff. If you live in Santa Cruz, you can visit her store, but for the rest of us, we can shop online. The store is called Passion Hill and I am going to be buying the lemon soy wax candle (because I love lemons) and some of the dead sea salts. Because I hate winter and I need something to remind me of swimming in the ocean, quite frankly.

Okay, so here's what they're saying about this morning:
"THE WIND CHILL ADVISORY INCLUDES WESTERN...CENTRAL AND INTERIORNORTHEAST MASSACHUSETTS. WIND CHILL VALUES AS LOW AS 15 TO 20 BELOWZERO ARE EXPECTED THROUGH MID MORNING.A WIND CHILL ADVISORY IS ISSUED WHEN THE WIND CHILL INDEX IS LIKELYTO REACH -20 TO -29 DEGREES FOR AT LEAST 3 HOURS. "

Yea!

So to stave off insanity, I post this picture from last summer.

Maybe it's the weather, or maybe it's because last year by March all the good houses were rented out already, but for the past two days I've spent lunchtime browsing rental sites for beach houses and emailing the links to my sister. I found the perfect house - anybody out there want to give me $6000 so I can rent it for a week? Really, I'll send you pictures of my smiling face!

Man oh man, it's hard to find exactly what we're looking for within our price range, and that's considering two families splitting the cost! Is it too much to ask for something within spitting distance of a sandy beach where the kids can swim? Huh, is it? "Waterview" is misleading if the kids can't go in and swim. I know for some folks, the view is all that matters - but we've got three kids who would NOT be happy to just stare at it from the deck.

I just realized that the reason I don't put a lot of Photoshopped images up here on the Dump is because C Monks is just so gosh-blammed good at it that he puts the rest of us to shame. What is the point of me working days on a piece when he's got the mad skillz to wipe the floor with me?

I'm telling you, we should all be so lucky as to be able to create the kind of stuff you'll see if you click the above link.

(He cracks me up, I tell you!)

Oh goodness, only one week left of being a swinging chick "in my 30s". Crap. What were the things I needed to do by now?

• Write a book. Okay, well, I've got enough material here and there for like three books. I guess the next step is for a publisher to hand over a check, no? Stupid me, the only time I kind of sort of had an editor from a real publisher sniffing around, I didn't want to write the book she was interested in seeing. Well, part of the problem was that while the concept was funny for 10 or 20 pages, it would be tedius for 150 to 200 pages, y'know? I didn't want to have my name on something I felt would be doomed to failure. I probably should have done it anyway. At least it would have been failure, as opposed to, well, nothing.
• Take a cruise. Hmm. I don't get vacation time, so that's a problem. Plus I'd have to somehow pay for it. I think this one is going to have to go on hold.
• Road Trip to Niagra Falls. Now why on earth haven't I done this one. I mean, I could drive there. It's not like it would take weeks. Sure, I didn't want to spend that much time in the car with a baby or toddler, but Junior is older now. Oh, wait, he can't even handle the 20 minute drive to my sister's house without asking how much longer it will be. Maybe if we can also take my step-kids so the three of them can pass the time by fighting with each other, we could get this one done this summer. Granted, I didn't do it before 40, but it's a billion below zero out there this week, and I don't see myself enjoying standing in the mist of the falls getting frostbite.
• Parlay this website into a full-time job. Ha. I can't even get more than 200 hits per day on average. Obviously, I'm doing something wrong. Maybe I'm not young and cute and I try to keep things "family-friendly."
• Write a regular column for a newspaper or magazine. Well, nobody's knocking down that door either.
• Get back down to what I weighed in college. Let's see, 7 days, how many pounds a day is that? Um. Next.

Well, those are the big ticket items, for the most part. There were a couple of items that might have gone on if they weren't repeats, as in, "I want to go BACK to ____". I figure I've visited those places at least once, which many people cannot even claim.

Looks like most of my items are writing related. I guess I have nobody to blame but myself for the lack of action on those.

Okay, special note to myself regarding the rest of the winter: Keep an eye on both the weather reports and the gas guage, so that you don't have to stand out in the -20 wind chill pumping gas when you could have done it over the weekend and not risked frostbite. Man oh man, when the "E" lit up on the dashboard this morning, I could have cried. And for those of you who, like me, tend to be surprised by the weather, it's going to be even worse on Friday. Make sure you get out there, let's say, by Thursday around lunchtime to fill up.

I'm watching my niece and nephew for a little while this morning. Obviously that means I'm trustworthy. That means I have to refrain from the following activities today:

• Fun with Matches
• The "Poison or Candy" Game
• Dancing to Death Metal
• Eat Cake Until We Throw Up
• Knife Juggling

See, I can be responsible!

Not THIS DumpTruck, silly. No, what do you do if you drive a truck and it's got a little smudge of dirt on it?

Well, you wash it.

Where do you wash it?

Apparently at one of those places where you put a jillion quarters into a machine for a minute of soap and water. You want to know how I know?





I like having a camera on my cellphone.

p.s. Looking for a good Chocolate Chip ice cream? Our new find is Brighams. I am very happy.

Okay, freaky busy day out there today. Look, I was going shopping for a real reason - I needed a black turtleneck. But what about the rest of you? We went up to the Pheasant Lane Mall in Nashua and there was practically gridlock all the way down the Daniel Webster Highway.

[Special note to the rabid mom in the minivan:
See, when two lanes of cars are both in right turn-only lanes, and you are in the rightmost lane, you are supposed to turn and stay in the right lane. Not just try to drive into the left lane without looking, almost hit us, beep your horn at us, get livid, start screaming and then beep your horn at us again LATER. Or did you just get your license yesterday? If you did, do us all a flippin' favor and stay the hell off the road if you can't handle two turn lanes. Beeyotch. God, you know, how dare she get so furious with us for daring to be in our lane! And then she was in a left turn lane when we were driving past she actually had the nerve to beep at us again! My God, is she really that much of a stupid lunatic? Heaven help her kids if she's the one who teaches them how to drive. Those are the days when you almost, just almost, wish she HAD hit us, because I would have loved to see her face when the cops cited her for failing to stay within marked lanes. Grrrr.]

Anyway, the roads were bumper-to-bumper - it looked like the weekend before Christmas out there. Well, good for the retailers, I guess.

Oh, and after we got home, I saw this view out the window and thought I'd share.

I'm not complaining about the nice warm air that passed through the area. I'm just complaining about the timing. It would have been really great for it to happen during daylight hours. I mean, maybe just a couple of hours earlier. I say that because it would have been great to not be woken up by all the ice sliding off the roof into the gutters at one in the morning. I have a cape cod-style house, and our bedroom has a slope in it. I sleep closest to the roof, with a dormer window [I think that's what they're called] like two feet from my head. So when stuff moves on the roof, it's like it's crashing into the room. Not cool, when you were sound asleep.

I guess I also would have liked the date moved to the weekend as well. It hurts me deeply to know that I was either sleeping or at my desk while it was 60 degrees. Except for my commute, of course, but that's when we had the downpour, so I couldn't very well open the windows.

So ya, I was complaining. It was 61 when I left the house. According to the Weather Channel, when I leave work, it will be THIRTY DEGREES COOLER. How can you not hate that?

I got the turkey for lunch today. When you buy a hot meal, it goes in a white container so you have to tell the cashier what you got.

I go to the cashier named Jody for obvious reasons. She greeted me with "Hello, Jody!"

and I replied:

"Hello, turkey."


I shoulda used a period, not a comma. At least she laughed.

D'oh!

Coupla thoughts:

• I was just looking for something in my archives, and I found an old entry that mentions that the Singing Psychic told the WXLO morning team that the Red Sox would dominate the Yankees in 2004.
  Wow, was she ever right! I'm going to really have to pay attention to her from now on...
• It shouldn't be this hard to find out when sign-ups are for the North Leominster Little League. People, it's 2005. Let's get some web sites out there!
• The Leominster Youth Soccer league apparently let the domain lapse. So what was a pretty useful web site for soccer info is now one of those placeholder web marketing sites. I'd go re-grab the domain for them, but I don't think Junior wants to play spring soccer, so I'm not sure it's appropriate for me to own the domain. I need to figure out who to mention this to.

Okay, another hair post. You can handle it, right? Good.

I've been buying Herbal Essence shampoo for several years now. The one for extra body, the brownish one. I think the claim to fame is that it has marigold in it or something. Anyway, while I have never washed my hair in an airplane bathroom (making noises that point to another activity, ahem), I do love the way it smells.

Strike that.

The way it smelled. For some reason, the Herbal Essence people have itchy fingers and messed with the formula for ALL their shampoos. Now they all contain "Essence of Palm." I can't remember what it's supposed to do for you. But the thing that scared me was the little graphic in the corner that said "New - Same Great Scent".

Okay, first of all, I have no idea how those two thoughts can be put together. If it's the same great scent, it's not new. And if it's new, it can't be the same great scent.

So I tried it. It's not the same great scent. I didn't want to say it out loud, but the thought that came to me was that it smells like ass. Except in the car tonight I said it smelled like bum, cause Junior is only seven and we aren't white trash, thank you. And Mr. Dump, God bless him, said

"Yaaaa...you know, I wasn't going to say anything, but it does."
"You mean, you think it smells like bum too?"
"It does. Just a little."

Try to imagine how hilarious a seven year old found this whole conversation. Now we have to tell him that just because the shampoo smells like bum, our heads don't. And yes, I've already purchased some other shampoo. I hope I like it. Cause it's not like I can go back to the Herbal Essence. *sigh*

Got my hair cut yesterday, as soon as I head Brad Pitt was back on the market. Mr. Dump tells me that he's already hooked up with Angelina Jolie, but that might be just his way of trying to keep Brad and I apart.

I don't see what she has that I don't...do you?

Here's me with the new cut, and Angelina with her boring, same-old style.



or



Um. Oh. Never mind.

I was looking for something on Amazon and on my landing page they had an item I just had to examine more closely. I mean, how can you not investigate a four hundred dollar pogo stick? (Okay, it's on sale. For three hundred.)

I had a pogo stick when I was a kid. I can still remember the thwunk-clunk sound. It was hard to get that puppy more than 2 inches off the ground...this one claims to go five FEET off the ground. Doubt that? Well, they provide video loops (there are like 5 different clips) and this thing *is* amazing. But really, $300 for a pogo stick?

My step-son spent the weekend with us, and while we waited for breakfast this morning, he played with one of those little pocket Etch-a-Sketches. And did an AMAZING job on a castle. We made everyone who works at "Sam's" come and admire his work...I'm telling you, I can barely draw a straight line on an Etch-A-Sketch...

Look at the bricks! And the little flags on the turrets!

Just as a heads up, I have disabled commenting on posts older than December 2004. Because I made this change manually, there is a chance I'll accidently republish those files and commenting will be turned back on. I just got sick of the spam comments...between 11pm last night and 8am this morning about 60 spam comments were posted to archive pages. I get emailed a copy of each comment posted, so you can imagine my joy at not only dealing with it in the comments file, but also in my e-mail. So I apologize to you new Dump readers who may want to comment on an old post, but I just have to try to figure out how to shut these jerks down without having to change the software I'm using.

Did you ever find something in your underwear drawer that you don't remember buying, or receiving as a gift? Probably not, right? Unless you are known for getting stinking drunk and then hitting the JC Penny white sale, you are pretty familiar with your underwear.

I found a thong in my underwear drawer. Granted, it's way in the back, and is a size smaller than I usually wear, but I don't remember buying a thong, because I have no interest in wearing one. The Amazing Bob, my BIL, told me (while I was thumbing through a Victoria's Secret catelog) that no butt looks bad in a thong.

I'm not going to take a picture to get your take on this one, but I think I heard it yelling "Help! Help! Get me out of here!"

So back in the drawer it went. And we shall not speak of it again.

I forgot to talk about the pen and ink set Mr. Dump gave me for Christmas. Well, I was there and picked it out a few weeks prior to Christmas and then he got it for me, so I knew I was getting it, but still....

Here is a link to picture of the set (and a link for buying it...the price listed is a little less than it was at the Higgins Armory Museum gift shop. But if you can get to Higgins, you should.)

http://tradingstories.com/4inkbottlekit.html

Man, use the navigation on that page to check out the other stuff they have for sale. As a writer, I was absolutely drooling.

Oh, so getting back to the pen...it's really a brilliant design. You dip the entire tip into the ink and the grooves actually control the flow so you can get 1/3 to 1/2 a page written before you need to re-dip. I was actually impressed. I was also very nervous having an open bottle of ink on the table with a kid around, but sometimes you have to take risks, right? So big thumbs up to the 19th century Venetians who came up with this pen style.

I was going to put a photo of baby Junior up next to Current Junior but I realized that I'd have to scan in a baby picture (I think) and man, do I really want to track down the scanner right now, hook it up, and all that stuff, just to put something cute up here?

What, you think you're worth that?

Oh.

The other day I realized how much more open I am with him than my parents ever were with me. I don't think that's bad, by the way. It also helps to have a younger female cousin, to hear words like "gina" (long i). I have this amazing bit of tape from Orlando where he and my niece were sitting in a double stroller talking, and I put the camera down to there level so I was recording without them noticing, and I got the following conversation:

Her: Bagina
Him: Lasagna?
Her: BAGINA!

Anyway, I was doing that "Oh, seven years ago this week we went to the Doctor on the 5th and he said "come back at 5pm and I'll get you started (he broke my water - I was due on the 7th and walking around 5cm dilated, so I was pretty ready). At this point, Junior starts to ask a question and I realize I've opened the "where do babies come from" Pandora's box, but actually, I have no problem explaining it to him, up to a point. Except his question was "How does the baby get out of your mouth?"

Uh oh. I can't have him thinking that, so long story short, he knows that girls have a special place that boys don't, that babies come out of. Remind me to not take THAT subject up again without preparing charts and graphs, 'kay?

Let's see, in weather news, yes, it's gross out. It snowed for 12 hours, and now the freezing rain is starting. I never know how to deal with this kind of storm. Is it better to get the snow all up before the freezing rain starts, or is it better to have the freezing rain have a layer of snow under it? Well, I did the whole driveway once, but since then, at least another 2 inches of snow fell and I was going to go take care of that after lunch, but now that the rain has started, I don't know if I should. Thoughts?

Welcome new local reader Cherie, who gets the Reader of the Week award for telling me it's going to get up to the fifties next week. See people, that's all you need to do - tell me good news like that. Or send me gifts. Or cash. It's all so simple.

Weatherdudes at CBS 4: This is how you define "A Few Stray Flakes?" Cripes, it's been snowing steadily here since I left the house an hour and a half ago. I *literally* checked the weather right before I left the house, because I thought a flake had fallen on me when I was waiting at the bus stop with Junior. The other two moms said "No, it probably wasn't snow, it isn't supposed to snow today" even when I showed them the offending flake, still stuck to my coat.

So I'm driving to work in flurries bordering on white out conditions, and the recorded weather report says a few stray flakes. Even the DJs had the courtesy to be embarrassed. I'd demand a refund, if I were them. If you can't get it right an hour ahead, we should trust your four-day forecast?

I know, I know, stop blaming the weathermen. It's not their fault. They don't control the weather. Yabut, I shouldn't have to listen to them being wrong while I'm driving in a snowstorm without any boots.

In other news - I told Junior that today was his last day to complete all the things he wanted to accomplish before he turned 7. Sounds funny, doesn't it? And yet, we do that same thing when facing an "0" birthday - 30, 40, 50, etc. I personally have three weeks to accomplish all the things I wanted to do before 40. So if you don't see much of me between now and then, you'll know why. (p.s. Is it too late to be a teen pop sensation? Howzabout America's Junior Miss?)

You know, I always laughed when I heard about people hitting "mid life" and making these abrupt changes, citing that life was too short to keep on the same path.

Except for the past few days I've become obsessed with a complete career change that would involve me opening my own store. I mean, that's not a small decision, and it may or may not happen, but still, when you find yourself mentally sketching out a business plan, that has to mean something? It also seems pretty daunting to me, so maybe that's why some people are cut out for owning a store and some aren't? But all these people who open stores...they didn't have to start with tons of cash, did they? Renting retail space is just that, renting. You don't have to buy a building, right? So then the big investments are in storage/hardware, a cash register, and buying inventory, right?

Is it because I turn 40 in a couple of weeks? Maybe. Am I too big of a wuss to make this kind of leap? Most probably. Which stinks. Too bad I'm not in a position where I have nothing to lose, you know?

Back to it, I guess. What a great weekend, though. I think every weekend should be like that. And that includes not going into work on Fridays, spending it with my sister's family eating hors d'oeuvres and drinking champagne, sitting around the house on Saturday doing nothing specific, and then shopping on Sunday. Even if, like yesterday, it's for things like Q-Tips and replacement pants for He Who Will Not Stop Getting Taller. Sheesh. That kid goes through more pants. We spent the day at Target and the Solomon Pond Mall, and I ended up with nothing for me! How can that even be?

Anyhoo...time to shuffle off to the bus stop. Thank God it's warm today instead of ice-encased. Rain in January can be a scary thing.

Oh man, staring a five day workweek in the face is just so depressing. I love the end of December and the short work weeks. Even the beginning of December you have the end of December to look forward to. Now - not so much. Oh, sure, Junior has a day off with the upcoming King holiday, but it's not really the same, is it? No.

I'm just saying.

I have no idea why I picked that title. I mean, it's probably the only title like that out there. In two weeks, if you do a Google search, I'll probably be the only hit. If you put it in quotes.

Sorry for leaving you in the lurch. It's not that I was off at some glamorous ball or something. I spent most of the day yesterday with my sister's family, we came home and crashed before 11pm. Today I was in that limbo where you thought it was Saturday all day yesterday but now you kind of think it's Sunday but you are acutely aware that it's not Sunday. Except it's a holiday and there's no mail so that continues to screw you up. I think tomorrow is Sunday. I am going to go with that assumption.

I need to buy a pair of pants or two, but after all the crap I've eaten the last two days, I'm not sure this is the best time to be shopping for pants, if you catch my drift. I think hot wings, onion dip and shrimp cocktail are not on anyone's suggested diet. Well, maybe the shrimp, but the 4 layer dip (I have no burning desire for the three layers I left out...) killed the benefits of that dead.

I had a small glass of champagne (I was driving) early in the evening. Actually, I tried a sip of a second bottle they opened and I can tell you that the Moet was the better of the two, even if Martha Stewart recommended the other one. I am not champagne expert, and I'm sure she knows what she was talking about, but the Moet was way better. You can take that recommendation to the bank.

My baby turns seven on Thursday. Maybe I'm just feeling overwhelmed by that. He's a baby, you see. My widdle shmooky wooky. Except for the being seven part. Yeesh.