The Big DumpTruck

Okay, too damned hot to do anything today, and due to circumstances I shouldn't discuss in a public forum but let's just say if you grew up in the 70s, using these products would allow me to go horseback riding, I didn't want to go tubing.

But we entertained ourselves as best we could, and we started to enjoy the new Animaniacs dvd set...5 DVDs......whoooooooooo! If I was writing this on my computer, I'd make that a link to Amazon and make a buck if you bought a copy. So use my link over on the right...

I'm trying to find something fun to do this weekend. I think our family could use a little fun (for reasons I can't really get into here right now) in our lives. I thought my step-kids were going to join us, because we haven't seen them for what seems like months, but apparently they don't feel like they need to spend any time with us. Very sad, but what are you going to do?

So suggestions for this weekend people. Let's see them. We already have a couple of ideas in the running, including Canobe Lake Park, Six Flags and cleaning the tub. Add your suggestions to the comments.

Just when I was getting into the swing of the weekend, we get Monday dumped on us. Rather unceremoniously, I might add.

I want a do-over. It's not that I wasted the weekend, but I want an extra scoop or two. If the weekend was ice cream, it is like I was handed a kiddie cone and then after only a couple of licks the whole thing fell into the dirt before I could even enjoy it.

And it was *good* ice cream too - something with an animal in the name. Moose tracks, or purple cow or aardvaark ears or something like that. Saturday is no Plain Jane scoop of vanilla frozen yoghurt.

I demand a replacement cone with two scoops and sprinkles, dammit.

Oh my gosh, taking a picture of the tomato plant was a stroke of genius, because one of them is turning red! It's a pale peachy color right now. I'm so excited!

So the question is, do I tell my parents? Because maybe they'd want me to share with them. I'm loking for new flowers to make sure my whole crop for 2006 isn't just what's on the plant today. I want tomatos until the first frost!

Far be it for me to point out that iTunes has a They Might Be Giants free section (I think under Podcasts, I don't have it in front of me) and you can download every single last one, including classics like Karate, Pleather, Things I Like to Do, and Plenty of Room. I know some people hate it but I like "Things I Like to Do":

Things are what I like to do
Doing things is what I like to do
Things are what I like to do
No twiddling of Thumbs
I get everything done
I'm slightly more productive
Now than previous because
I'm slightly more efficient
Than I previously was
Doing things is what I like to do
Yes!
Doing things is what I like to do
Yes!

Here is the current Big DumpTruck bumper (sic) crop of tomaters. I have no idea when the damned things are going to start showing signs of turning red. It was so hot this week that I had high hopes (if memory serves, tomatoes really love hot weather). I don't think I'm going to have enough to share, so don't even ask, okay? I could eat every single one of this in one day and not think twice about it. And then I could go poop in the back yard and start up another crop. Go seeds!

Had to turn on the thingy that makes you type in a word to deter the spammers that have hit this week. Can I just tell you how much I detest them? I wish very very bad things on them. I do. It's not very Christian of me, but I think spam would even piss off Jesus.

Don't worry, I didn't forget the tomato photo. I need to take it first.

But I can't remember what it was. It was probably really funny. You would have liked it, I know that deep in my heart. But I'm blanking on what it was, so I can only tell you that I was going to tell you something.

I'm sorry.

To make it up to you, tomorrow I will take a photo of my tomato plant and post it. That will make you feel better, right? I've got about 8 tomatoes on the sucker, and I'm just waiting for one of them to give me some kind of hint that they will eventually turn red. Sheesh. I want a fresh tomato already!

Normally, I Like LL Bean. However, yesterday a new catelog arrived. And it's the fall catelog. Fall. FALL.

Yes, thank you.

So I like fall as much as the next guy, but I'm getting too old to wish for time to fly by. I haven't even been able to appropriately enjoy this summer, why would I want to wish it was already fall?

I thumbed through a couple of pages, but when I saw hats and gloves I was forced to fling the horrid thing across the room. I cannot and will not go glove shopping in July. Just no.

Dear Burger King Customers:

Have you been losing sleep over the fact that when you eat at BK you were limited to a sandwich that only had 2 meat patties on it? I mean really, ordering two doubles was a problem?

Okay, so does the new 4 patty sandwich take care of that part of your deeply dissatisfied life?

More important, do people look at you in a horrified manor when you order one? I think I'd have to wear a disguise, and make sure I was in a town I'd never visited before.

Yeesh.

Okay, here's your "Dumb Things Jody Did" report for the week ending July 14.

The list is short, as you can well imagine. But that's okay, because what it lacks in quantity it makes up for in quality.

Let me preface this by saying I completely blame my employer, but I'll explain after I provide you with the dumb thing.

I walked into the men's room by accident.

Okay, so I've been working for this company for 3 years, in two different buildings. In 90% of the bathrooms I've seen/used, the men's room is on the left, ladies on the right. That's just the standard.

This bathroom, however, is reversed. For no rhyme or reason, either. The entrance is exactly the same as the others (the doors face each other, so they aren't flush (sic) with the rest of the wall. There is nothing outwardly different about this set of bathrooms, other than that they are swapped.

Luckily, nobody was using a urinal (someone was in a stall) and the hall was empty so I wasn't spotting running out. But gah, what horror goes through you when you realize what you've done!

Okay, so after a week, I've just about had it with the limitations on phase 1 of South Beach. I am being very good, but I'm just not a salad person even though I have to have one or more a day. So there's that.

So I was sitting here, as the All Star Game is starting, and I said to Mr. Dump, "You know what I need right now? A low-carb Dorito." So I turned to the Google gods and looked it up and found some REALLY AWESOME low carb websites. (There were/are Low Carb Doritos, but apparently they've been discontinued, possibly because they tasted like crap.) There are a lot of discontinued low carb products now that Atkins and South Beach aren't as popular as they were a couple of years ago. As in companies have gone under.

As long as I can find a low carb ketchup, I'll be happy.

We took a road trip up in NH today, headed for one place until we realized it was too far away for the time of day we left.

So we sort of landed in Tilton, where there are some outlet stores. And yes, I did get a couple of things that I'll be able to wear even if I lose a size. They are just slightly too small..I could probably wear them but I think 5 more pounds and they'll be great.

While wandering lost for a while, we saw a whole bunch of gas stations with 2.79 gas. Holy crap! That's 20 cents less a gallon less than we paid in Leominster yesterday! Lucky Tilton residents!

Junior seems to have fallen into a vat of ick. He went to the doctor yesterday after complaining his ear and throat hurt Thursday (camp called to pick him up) and waking up all crusty eyed. So he's got an ear infection and conjunctivitis. Such fun!

But the interesting thing is that my nephew and niece (at different times over the past week) have had one or both of the same issue. Nephew had eye issue without ear infection and niece had ear infection, and maybe eyes, but I haven't talked to my sister since she took her to the doctor yesterday. Anyhoo...odd, don't you think?

Junior is with my parents so we did errands, but I've run out of stuff to do without him, so I'm writing to you. I was going to go to the library but I checked at they closed at 1 today for their summer hours. Boo. Hiss.

I don't want to go clothes shopping (I don't really mean that) because if I do end up losing a decent amount of weight I won't be able to wear my current clothes. And you can't really buy stuff smaller than you are in you can'5t accurately try them on. Right? Right?

Had my first [half] week at the new job. So far so good! I don't think I'd be saying that if I didn't have a history with this group and the product - I was able to jump in from minute one because it was like I never left last fall. I'm really enjoying the work so far. Which makes it all great.

On the other hand, I'm sure I can't judge everything by the first 3 days and I'll get hit with some stuff that makes me want to scream. But for now, no screaming.

We're still on the diet. Mr. Dump has lost at least twice what I have (the first 2 weeks they say you'll lose between 7 and 13 pounds, and he's at 8 or 9 and I'm at about 4 - which in any other universe would be cause for celebration, but I'm like "only 4 pounds since Monday? What's wrong!") but he reminded me that I'm still hypothyroid with a flukey metabolism. So I'm trying to remain upbeat. I also cheated a little on the 4th of July (had a bun with my burger and he didn't) and I *still* lost 4 pounds total. So, you know...

Tonight we picked up the guidebook that is mostly just massive lists of carb and sugar counts for foods and what phase you can have them in. This is going to be VERY helpful because I have already found a couple of items that I'm going to be adding to the shopping list to break up the salad monotony. Like green olives. I adore them, and they are good to go for phase 1. I'm already looking forward to lunch tomorrow - tuna with regular mayo and green olives. Mmmm. (South Beach says - no reduced fat or calorie mayo or salad dressing. I'm breaking out the Hidden Valley Ranch!)

Mr. Dump and I are giving the South Beach Diet a shot, starting yesterday. I think it's pretty practical, and I'm hoping the 2 week kickoff period is more painless than I expect it to be. I think I can do it, but it will mean more cooking around this place.

I'm a carb addict. I will not deny it. So that's a big problem that the next two weeks should address (no carbs). Then in the third week we can add back some "good" carbs. Apples, whole grain stuff. You know, what we *should* be eating. I have already decided that the carb I'm going to add back will be whole grain pasta.
We still have to work out the kinks on things like portions. For lunch I made myself a 2-egg omlette (well, more like scrambled eggs, which I prefer) but I think maybe I should have used 3 eggs.

Anyone else ever do South Beach? Do you have any menu suggestions for phase 1?

If you are shopping for Red Sox shirts at Olympia Sports, and you see one that has the name "Coco" on the back, you might not want to buy it. REAL player shirts have the LAST name, not the first name. Also, those Coco shirts are number 10. The "Crisp" shirts around the corner are number 12.

Boston.com thinks he's number 12.

So to summarize, right name, wrong number, wrong number, right name.