Who Are You?
I think I'll just tease you with a little bit of
information at a time. You know, just enough to keep you coming
back. I've been working on this web site since 1995, but I've had
to domain since 1998. I couldn't stop now if I wanted to.
Where is the “Best of the Dump” you Promised Us?
Scroll down. Sheesh.
How Do I Contact You?
If you really need to get my attention, leave a comment. I
get notified of those fairly quickly, and they pass all my spam
filters. Otherwise, you'll have to send me an email with "dump
mail" in the subject line. If you don't write "dump
mail" in the subject line, there's a good chance it will go
right in the old trash bucket. Actually, even if you put it in
there, my new hosting company's mail filters might eat it, so if
you write and don't hear back, try leaving a comment.
The
proper address to use is the name JODY and then AT and then
bigdumptruck.com
Why Is It Called The Big DumpTruck?
Back when the earth's crust was still cooling, I was a tech
writer at a company in Waltham. The web and browsers were brand
new, and I decided it would be a good thing to learn HTML. So I
signed up for a free Tripod account (back before they were te
pop-up kings) and created a web page called "Utter
Uselessness." The one thing I remember from that page is that
the background image made it look like it was written on a
hardwood floor. Yes, it's easy to read text with THAT background.
Oh, and look! I can change font colors!
So anyway, off the main U.U. page was this page of little
random thoughts that I called The Big DumpTruck. A lot of what was
on that page had to do with my commuting adventures, and a lot of
times I got stuck behind those big dumptrucks full of gravel that
just seem to spray you with rocks. So those became the "thought
pebbles" in the tagline. Eventually I decided that all the
other stuff was secondary, registered the domain, and redesigned
the site around the BDT. So there you have it.
Best of the Dump
In this space you will soon find assorted dumpings from over
the years. These are only the "best" if you define best
as "the stuff Jody thought was fairly amusing."
A few new updates here at the top
I can't say for sure exactly what dessert will be today, but I can tell you that it will be "Fun SizeŽ". I think everything should be called Fun Size. I certainly think I should be called Fun Size.
Now that I'm home, I am going to attempt to put my face on my keyboard as if I'm dead. I should point out that on the commercial, it was a regular keyboard, and this computer is a laptop.
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See, that last bit is when my head rolled to the side because gravity just isn't going to let you balance your nose on one key when you're dead.
Okay, so thanks for playing Criminology At Home!"
I realized you might be concerned that the "dead person on the keyboard" experiment was actually the real thing, and like Bill, be tempted to call 911. I want to tell you all to rest easy, that just because we're in the middle of another of those magnetic solar hurricanes, all is well in the Big DumpTruck Garage.
Remember the scene in High Anxiety where Dick Van Patton's character is killed by being trapped in a car with a very loud radio? His ear drums apparently burst and we know he's dead because there's a little trickle of blood coming out of one ear. Getting beyond the "is it possible for a standard-issue 1970's car radio with speakers in the dashboard [only] to get loud enough to cause damage, because, after all that was the point of the scene, I'm wondering if I was taking my life in my hands on the way to work today.
Wow, I was going to just post a link, but there's a commercial on right now to try to convince people that they can make money raising alpacas. I had no idea it was that lucrative. Go to ilovealpacas.com for more info. (I'm not building the link, because I don't want them to know I'm talking about them. Those alpacas are mean and they spit, you know? I don't need that.)
You guys are concerned that we live like those people who you read about because after they died 35 years' worth of newspapers, magazines, trash and cats were found covering every free surface, so that entire rooms were blocked off. It's not quite that bad. We don't have any cats.
What I really needed was some good makeup, you know, black lipstick, the works, but I couldn't find my black lipstick. It wasn't in the box with all the other Halloween items. I can't begin to tell you where I might have stored it, if it wasn't in that box. I mean, did I put it somewhere else thinking "I might need to wear this again soon"?
Motorists in high profile vehicles should use caution until the winds subside.
I don't know if I have a high profile vehicle or not. I think maybe I do, because I used my inkjet printer to create a bigdumptruck.com bumper sticker (removable) and I'm kind of pleased with how it raises the profile of my 10-year-old car. I am noticable, baby.
On the other hand, I'm glad I saw this because I shouldn't leave the umbrella in the stand. And I should give a Flintstone's Chewable to my lawn pinwheel, cause he's gonna be busy tonight.
I just haven't been using my school supplies as much as I thought I would when I bought them. Maybe I just didn't need a Trapper Keeper at my age.
No, I don't have the Flu, but thanks to the free flu shots they're handing out like candy here at work today, I'm hoping to avoid it altogether this year.
The only thing that bothered me was that when it was my turn, the first thing the nurse said was "You're already pale," meaning, I guess, that some people get pale at the thought of a shot, but I arrived looking like the Ghost of Christmas Past.
It's 6:30am. Your son makes gagging noises in the bathroom.
You:
What's wrong?
Him: I just saw something disgusting
You:
Where?
Him: In my underpants
You know things are bad when you and the the little sick boy
are watching an Alvin and the Chipmunks halloween movie I TiVo'd,
and you start thinking "God, they really made Dave [Seville]
look really hot."
I'm the #1 hit on google for
"peeeeeeee".
So I'll see you all next year, when I float around town
completely covered with
roses, tree bark and mustard seeds,
sponsored by the Kodak company.
Me: I'd like a Whopper Junior with Cheese, no onion no
pickles.
Drive Thru "Person": What size?
What
the hell kind of question is that. Are you telling me that the
Whopper Junior comes in multiple sizes? Or are you telling me that
you're barely paying attention to my order?
I think I'm reverting to needing my original 20 hours of sleep
a day, you know, like I did as a newborn.
At work, I use the fourth stall in, unless someone else is
using it. If someone else is using it, I feel someone is
trespassing. But I try to not cause a ruckus.
I have a new piece of art in my cubicle...it's a drawing of a
frog from famous artiste Junior.
My cubicle art
rulz.
p.s. If you don't hear from me for a while, it's
because the Girl Scout Cookies have arrived.
"Is It Wednesday? It is? Good. I'm ready for Wednesday.
I'm more ready for Friday, but I don't know how to manipulate time
and space.
Yet."
"Before you ask, no, I won't be running in this year's
Boston Marathon. Someone could pull me in a wagon if they wanted
to, but running is right out. Here's the excuse I have prepared:
"I don't have good sneakers."
I know what you're thinking, you're
thinking "get over your damned self" but I had kind of
had it in my head as a done deal, so that is annoying. I need to
undo what's in my head. Do you know how much work that is? The
paperwork alone will kill you, never mind the calls to the
cerebral cortex and the begging and the tears. Anyway, suffice it
to say I drowned my sorrows in the JC Penny shoe department.
To celebrate 12 years of wedded
bliss (*snort*) yesterday, we all went bowling. And because it was
a special occasion, we didn't go to our typical candlepin bowling
alley (for the rest of the country - those are the little balls,
three per-frame), no indeed, we went to Gardner Ten Pin.
And
as I flung my big pink ball down the lane, I couldn't help but
wonder: is there anything more annoying than hanging your
thumbnail ripped off because the thumb hole on your bowling ball
isn't the right size?
...more to come
