The Big DumpTruck

Okay, 700 different weather sources tell me that Leominster is going to get 11-15 inches of snow in the next 24 hours. (See: Weather.com)

I went to Accuweather on my phone (to their wireless site, pda.accuweather.com) and punched in the Zip code for Leominster (01453).

Their report?
Today - Snow early, then more snow late in the day, accumulating a coating to an inch.
Tuesday - Snow with little or no accumulation in the morning.

So am I missing something? And which one do you trust?

As a wrap-up to the liveblogging I did last night, the new Daily Probe is dedicated to photos from last night's festivities. At least one of them made me burst out laughing right here at work. Oopsie!

I have a perfectly lovely book to read, and I stayed up to watch the Oscars? Granted, I was doing that live blogging thing with the other TopFivers and Daily Probe contributors, but even that got old pretty quickly as the show was so blah that we all ran out of steam. I went to bed before it was over, leaving the funny up to the west coast writers.

I feel the need to at least tell everyone how I'm completely fed up with this winter. Another storm tonight. Yea. Depending on the weatherguy source, anywhere from 5 inches to 18 inches expected in our neighborhood. The full report I saw said 6-12, which is quite a range, actually. Could we please just have spring? Is that too much to ask? We survived January and February, can March just be completely pleasant?

We're over at http://www.dailyprobe.com/oscars (might not be G-rated, I'm not alone over there.)

Went to the home show in Fitchburg today along with my sister's family and my parents. What turned out to be funny is that all of us, without talking to each other, were there to look at the same thing. Man, if I only had tens of thousands of dollars lying around.

Actually, now that things have settled down around here, we have a list of things we want to do and need to do. One of those is to redo the deck and the back steps. I want to get that composite stuff for the back steps. It never gets the sun...ever. It's just an ugly mess to have wooden steps. And parts of the deck look iffy to me. I think boards need to be replaced. Anyhoo...what I really want is to put a 3 or 4 season room in place of the deck. I say in place of because I think I'd want it to be bigger than the current 10x10 deck.

I talked at length to at least three companies who do these, and I liked the guy from one of them more than the others. I'm just not sure I like his product the best. Then there's the whole "what style do we want" thing. I would definitely go for a 4 season room if I was going to go out and make that kind of investment. I would want something I could use ANY time I wanted. Plus, we could really use the extra living space on the first floor. When the kids are up for a visit, it's a little close to have 5 people trying to do different things.

Anyway, anyone who wants to pay for such a beast, I'd be happy to dedicate it as the YOUR NAME HERE room, just like the Fleet Center. As long as your name doesn't contain any swear words.

For the record, mom wasn't all that impressed with the home show, but I pointed out that it was kind of nice to have all local vendors there. If you go to the home show in Boston, you aren't going to have the guys who own the place up the street. Like here, I was able to tell the guy who actually owns Lakeview Nursery that it's depressing to drive by there and not see any signs of life. He just laughed.

Dear Spammers,

I don't need any.
Thanks but no thanks.
Please remove me from your lists

Thank you,
Me

My cyber pal Andrea was telling us how at work a joke with a fake nametag at some sort of event (they didn't have one for her but had some for people who weren't there) has ballooned to the point where the CEO-type person calls her by the fake name because she doesn't know it's *not* her name.

How great is that? I mean, it's also bad because if someone says to the boss "we should give Andrea an award" the boss may say no because she doesn't know who Andrea is...

Husband-person, who happens to be a muckity-muck web guy in the land of retail web sites, informed me last night that Google had instituted a new algorithm in their search engine ("And then, we wave a chicken head over the database...") and some sites have seen traffic drop off significantly.

Sometimes I actually worry about stuff like this, because if my traffic drops off any more I will actually have negative traffic (what would that be...forcing people off the site?). My quest for world domination would grind to a halt and then where would we be? If I can't make it as a big famous blogger, what hope is there for the next 40 years of my life?

But I digress. So I looked at my hits, and I think I'm actually benefiting a little bit. My numbers appear to be up from what I expect - given that I didn't post/ping Blogrolling until late, I normally have lower hits because people who use Blogrolling as an indicator wouldn't visit. I got 40 or 50 more hits that I would have expected yesterday, which is like 1/3 extra traffic.

I pulled up the Google page and did a search for "Dump Truck" (with a space) and I appear to have moved up to the number 2 position. Number two. In all of Googledom. So ya, that's an improvement, I'd say. I should probably start selling stuff here. I mean, there's gotta be some way for me to parlay a #2 spot into some cash, wouldn't you think?

[I wrote this post on Sunday and just realized I hit "Save as Draft" instead of "Publish Post". So I'll just tweak it a bit and post it as a new post for today. Try to pretend you read this four days ago.]

Okay, I don't shop at Walmart. I just don't like Walmart that much. No offense to people who like shopping there. Really. But we went there because there was a rumor floating around town that they had ski/snow pants available. And we needed a pair or two, you see.

We ended up with a really random assortment of stuff. At least I thought so.

- 1 pair of men's ski pants
- 1 small white sweatshirt (junior size)
- 3 bras
- 1 tube of Icey Hot (tm or r or whatever...I'll look it up tomorrow)
- 8-pack of purse-sized tissue packs
- 1 cd of Galactic hits (you know, from sci-fi movies)

I can't remember if there was anything else...but really, what is possibly missing?

I haven't opened the CD yet. It was in the HUGE collection of $2.97 CDs. I mean, hundreds. We pawed through them - lots of stuff that had potential until you saw they were "performed by the Lobotomy Singers" or whoever. I want the original stars, thanks. I always look because for three bucks, you might find something you can give as a Secret Satan, er, Santa gift, or something that you can use as a soundtrack when editing video. You just always have to be ready in case your home movies involve a rocket launch.

No really, I didn't forget you. Just got busy away from the 'puter.

Plus, like junior high, isn't it better to play hard-to-get?

More tomorrow, promise!

I need to look through the archives to see if I ever mentioned that I used my 2004 Magnetic Poetry Calendar to write a poem and submit it to the Magnetic Poetry website. [update: Yes, I did.] You tell them what kit you used (there are like 20 or more now) and if they deem it suitable, they put it up on their web site in their "anthology." Mine is still available up there.

I got an email over the weekend saying that they want to use my poem [such that it is] in their 2006 Magnetic Poetry Calendar. I kid you not. So I sent them my info, and anxiously await next fall when the 2006 calendars start hitting the market. I think it's a pretty safe bet on what everyone will be getting for Christmas next year.

Oh, and for the record, once 2004 was over, I ripped off all the Calendar pages (the ones with other people's poems on them) and kept the magnetic board part. My poem is still on it, so I took a picture with my camera.

Me: How do you know it's the same guy? Maybe it's his evil twin?
Junior: Hey, not everyone has an evil twin...

Hey gang, Adam set up a page to grab all the blog entries on Tedy Bruschi's stroke status. I guess he did this because I was shocked that there were so few Boston Bloggers talking on the subject. For the record, I made my request over at his new Universal Hub site, where everyone who registers gets space for a [Massachusetts/Bostony] blog. Mine, which I won't be using too much because I have this place, is at http://www.universalhub.com/blog/12.

Don't worry, I won't be talking about all of you behind your back over there. Then again, if for some reason this site is completely down, you may want to look over there to see if I've explained why...

Sounds like a silly title, but I'm just thinking that maybe Tedy Bruschi's small stroke was so small that it doesn't even count as one, and that it won't sideline him or end his career - although one has to think that if you are a 31 year old father who has a small stroke, you might consider moving to a less head-trauma-y field.

I am guessing his wife will be all over his butt for him to retire now, and I can't say I blame her one bit. Even if they come back and say that this had nothing at all to do with what the man does for a living, is there anyone out there on the planet who doesn't think that having a job that requires you to pound and be pounded might cause a head injury of this type? I thought so.

So Tedy, we're all out here rooting for you, sending you health vibes, etc. And know that while it will be devastating to us, we totally understand that you're going to have to do what makes the most sense to you and your family, even if that means retiring.

And I don't mean pooping in a Honda. That would be doody.

Mr. Dump is part of the Jury pool in Worcester today. All hail the judicial system! He obviously doesn't want to get picked for anything that last longer than 3 hours. I wonder about the people who get on these several months-long trials - what are their lives like that they can just be available for jury for that long? I know if I was on trial, I couldn't get a jury of my "peers" if the pool was all people who didn't have to be at work all day every day.

Speaking of which, Mr. Dump and I were disagreeing over whether or not he could wear jeans. I said no. I also pointed out that your appearance drops you into a certain category of person - would you want the lawyers choosing to make a snap judgment about you based on the fact that you dressed down?

I could be way off, of course. I've never actually been on a jury. Just near one.

Somehow I pulled something in my back when I was blowing my nose this morning. Is this even possible? I mean seriously, I blew my nose (standing upright, no fancy twisty movements) and as I did I felt the tell-tale *ping* of something going wrong. And then I moved and it hurt. And it continues to hurt, although because I alternated between trying to stretch it away and favoring it, the stiffness feels like it's moving into my neck. And then there's the headache that might be from a combination of hunger and lack of caffeine. This is just so fantastic.

The belly is MUCH better today, although there are twinges to remind me of what it felt like yesterday. Going into the cafeteria increased the twinges at the thought of eating anything they offered. I went for something fairly plain - roast beef on white, just because I don't trust their turkey right now.

I will say that my heating pad (the kind you warm in the microwave) saved my life last night. It was the only thing to calm down my stomach enough to let me fall asleep. I brought it to work with me today but haven't had to use it (knock wood) which is good because I was in meetings most of the morning, and I don't like calling attention to myself like that.

So, is that enough about me and my stupid health for one day? Why yes, I believe it is!

I think I got food poisoned yesterday. I'm going to say it was from lunch, because I started to not feel very well before I even ate dinner. It only got worse from there.

I stayed home sick today, which is saying something, because I don't get sick days. I just couldn't see driving all the way in to work the way I feel.

So now you can all feel bad for me, and send me FTD "Gee, we're sorry you have shooting stomach pains and intestinal distress" bouquets. It comes in a toilet-shaped vase.

Okay, don't read this if you're at work and you aren't supposed to be doing anything that involves laughing. Mr. Crunchy grabs Valentine's Day in public schools and gives it a good kick in the pants. I don't want to spoil the funny, but the 2nd to the last sentence of the first paragraph made me snort in a terribly unladylike manner. Oopsie!

Junior saw filling out the Valentines for his classmates as a huge, oppressive chore. And a note to the people who made them: Please, for the love of all that is red and heart-shaped, if you are going to include a "to" and "from" space, make it long enough for a first grader to write in a name with more than three letters in it. Sheesh. Who do they think are filling these things out? Junior had to ignore the tiny spaces (his name wouldn't fit in the from space) and just wrote everything on the back. In pencil. I guess the kids can feel free to erase and re-card next year.

I hope he gets some of those Nerds Valentines. I somehow developed a near-addiction to Wonka Nerds sometime last year. I am looking forward to seeing what he got, but I fear lollipops and candy conversation hearts.

Where have all the regulars gone? I'm starting to get a little nervous that I haven't seen/heard from many of you in the past week or so. Did you guys charter a bus to head out to LA for the Awards Season?

I was driving behind a Sunbeam bread truck, with the picture of the little girl eating a honkin big slice of white bread heaven, and I see their tag line: "Batter Whipped."

What the hell does that mean? How do you batter whip bread? Isn't it dough? It would take a mighty powerful machine to whip bread dough, I suspect. So does that mean Sunbeam bread is more like cake batter? Are all mass-produced breads made like that?

And why do I care? I don't eat that stuff anyway.

I meant to write yesterday. And today. Really, I did. But I was so busy living life away from my computer that it just seemed a shame to say "no, I'm sorry, we must go home so I can bask in the rays of my laptop screen.

On the other hand, after standing outside on the snow at Nashoba Valley watching Junior's 2nd ski lesson and then his practice after, I would have paid cash money if HE had said "let's go home so you can warm up, mom!"

He didn't.

We did learn at exactly what point the three kids implode. Now remember, they have a 1/2 hour swim lesson in the morning (and they do work at it, especially the boys who have moved up to the class where they do things like tread water for 5 minutes. No, really, think about it. Let's say they fall off a boat - wouldn't you want them to be able to do this until the boat can circle around? I would.) There's just enough time to come home, relax a little bit, shovel down some lunch, and then head over to the mountain. There we have to get all the rental gear, and then off to class. Class lasts an hour, and then their lesson pass is like an afternoon lift ticket. They can stay and ski until like six o'clock.

They do not, however, last until six o'clock. At around four o'clock, when we finally dragged them away from the magic carpet, tow line and chair lift (son, niece and nephew, in that order) they all sort of melted down right then and there. Nobody wanted to walk in the boots any more because they hurt, and my nephew was in tears because he was so hungry. So now we know to wrap things up by 3:30. Hell, that's 2.5 hours of skiing for kids who are only 7, 6 and 4. And they don't take a break to do ANYTHING in that time.

Well, that was fun. Last night when the snow started and was literally sticking to any surface it encountered, I was starting to get nervous about what might be in store for us. But apparently we were only in the inch range for snow. Now that isn't to say that the roads weren't completely icy - they were. School was delayed for an hour - just long enough to throw me off for the rest of the day.

This evening we have the joy of a Chuck E. Cheese birthday party. I can't believe I made it this long with a child without stepping foot in one...is that some kind of record?

Looking for a unique card? Need to send a Valentine to someone you aren't sure you like? Are you over 18 (just for some language)?

http://www.badcupid.com

(From the fine folks who bring you topfive.com and dailyprobe.com. And of course, I contribute to both, even though I didn't write any of these.)

The Jody Fry hasn't gotten any offers. I wonder why? Maybe if it came with a poem?

Oh Golden Goddess
Goodness and Gladness...
Great galloping gadfly
Is that a face in that there french fry?

Oh my gosh, I was eating some McDonald's Fries and I looked down and one of them looked just like me! Should I sell it on eBay or what?

By the way, for those of you looking for a way to totally suck up to me and get me to be your Best Friend for Life (sm), J-Lo's old engagement ring from Ben is up for sale. I have a finger all picked out for it.

Shiney shiney diamondy goodness!

I finally took our holiday garden flag in yesterday, because it wasn't stuck in the snow any more. Junior asked if I was going to put up a Valentine's Day one, and I said I didn't have a Valentine's Day flag, but it would make a lovely gift.

He told me that he was thinking of getting me a ring, but that a flag is a good gift too, so maybe he'd get me one of those instead.

Man, did I just blow it or what?!

It's Tuesday here in Jodyland. I remind myself of that because I don't want to have one of those screw-ups where I think the week is further along than it is. I hate that.

In Jodyland today, we are happy to combine Mardi Gras with the Pat's parade. I will be celebrating neither from my little cubicle world, but I am aware that these things are going on around me. I have not seen anyone drinking hurricanes or passing out beads around the office, but it's still early.

We are also keeping our eye on the ratzen fratzen weather reports that say we may get another 6-12 on Thursday. I have no idea what that's going to do to the spaghetti supper at school Thursday night. I assume there will be some kind of note going home with all the kids telling us what will happen in case of a big storm. At least they started talking about this one a few days ahead of time, so people can get mentally and physically prepared. Me? I've got an unopened container of onion dip and a bag of chips, so I'll get through any storm just fine.

My pick is hands-down the Ameriquest Kitty commercial. I'm sure some people are already writing Congress or whatever it is loons do. That commerical was brilliantly conceived and brilliantly shot. We rewound that sucker right away on the Tivo.

Runner up was P. Diddy's Diet Pepsi truck commercial. That one made me giggle each time it was on. Oh my God, how on-target was that? Fantastic.

Third place? Uh....I guess....I'm going to give it to CareerBuilder. But who doesn't love monkeys?

Ahh, what a lovely day! I don't even care that the school bus was 15 minutes late this morning. I don't! And why is that, you ask? Well, because the Pats won, they have nothing more to prove to anyone. Man, do these guys get no respect or what? Even as they are pulling off an unbelievable third win in four years, even as our coach breaks the record for winning the most games in the post-season, the analysts are talking about Terrell Owens, etc.

Whatever. You can try to dismiss this team all you want, but I think we proved our point.

Oh, and besides, we're supposed to get some record-breaking warmth today, and 55 degrees in February is cause for major celebration, regardless of a Superbowl win.

Before I forget, here's picture I took with my phone at Junior's ski lesson. He moved up to the next level, and all the kids ended up skiing for an extra hour after their hour lesson was over. He LOVED it. And my nephew looks like an old pro. After 5 total lessons, I'd say he's almost ready for the big mountain. Holy cow, that kid is good. It almost made me want to take lessons. Almost. I think if I was going to do it, I'd have to take the morning off from work and do it when nobody else was around. Because yes, I'm that embarrassed. But we stood there for 2 hours and my feet started to freeze and I started to think about how much time I'm going to end up at a mountain trying to keep amused while he's skiing. I mean, he's only 7 - I can't just leave him there.

Man, less than two minutes left and I just have a gnawing feeling in the pit of my stomach. Well, I mean, it's not as bad as watching the Sox play the Yanks last October, but still, I hate close games like this.

And I know the gnawing isn't from hunger because I cooked a most amazing dinner this evening, if I do say so myself. This morning while we had breakfast out, I asked Mr. Dump what he wanted for his birthday dinner. "Beef Stroganoff." "Seriously?" "Ya. And garlic bread."

So while we sat there, I looked up a recipe on Epicurious, and then we stopped at Shaws on the way home and got all the stuff (except for the red wine, cause, well, they don't sell it) and tonight I made beef stroganoff from scratch. And it was damned good. Which is bad because now he's gonna think I can cook.

Okay, we just have to make it through the next minute and forty three seconds. This is the longest two minutes of 2005. Unless you count that time I really had to pee and I was stuck in traffic.

Man, I get a full day of shuttling Junior to swimming and then to skiing. He is SO excited about the skiing. I know I would have been at his age too. Except for my fear of pain and death. I was always afraid to get hurt sliding - I figure adding me standing up to that would not be good. Anyway, I am so not looking forward to dealing with the ski area, getting his rentals, getting his pass for the class, and then standing in the snow watching for an hour. This, my friends, proves that I love him, because I can think of about 1000 things I'd rather do this afternoon.

Mr. Dump's birthday is tomorrow, and I can't figure out what to do. He's going to have to take my step-son home in the afternoon, and then there's the whole Superbowl thing. Do I invite people over? I can't even tell if he wants me to. *sigh*. It's been a couple of years since we watched the Superbowl with friends. I miss that, actually. It's always more fun to watch with a bunch of people.

Okay, I guess I need to go make sure Junior doesn't have his underwear on under his bathing suit. I'm making him put his bathing suit on under his pants because he's too little to go in the men's locker room by himself, so it's easier to have him "ready to go" when we get there.

p.s. Happy Birthday Nat! I hope you had a great day, even though I know it's tough with your honey away. Just think, when he gets back he'll have a whole bunch of stuff to make up to you! Geeks bearing gifts!

I know my step-son reads here sometimes, so happy birthday! I'm thinking we need to take him to UNO's so we can get a desert for him to share with us. Well, Mr. Dump's birthday is Sunday, so if we go on Saturday, that would cover both of them. I didn't get my birthday meal at Uno's but it's already been a week, so I'm not going to try. I think they'd start asking to see ID if we said three of us were the birthday boys and girl.

Let's see, what else.

Oh, this one is big. Well, not so much to you, I'm sure, but it is to me, because it's like the beginning of a new era in DumpTruckLand. Junior sent me an email today. He wrote everything in it himself. This is a HUGE thing to me. I mean, I have a kid who can write me notes that express his thoughts and feelings!

And his thoughts and feelings were:

How are you?
I am fine.
We can watch a movie.
And have popcorn.

Oh, you betcha!

It's like a whole piece of me is missing. I have the shakes, for goodness' sake. How am I supposed to get through the rest of the day? I'm only human, you know.

For part of the day yesterday, I got confused and thought it was Friday. I cannot tell you how much it stunk when I realized that not only was it not Friday, it wasn't even Thursday. Goodness, that was a moment of torture.

The morning team on XLO was telling a "horror story" this morning about this woman who lost all the photos of every major event in her life because they were all on Ofoto and she hadn't read the fine print in the agreement that said if you don't buy something every 12 months, they reserve the right to remove your account. This woman had pictures from her wedding, birthdays, Christmas, etc. and it's all gone.

I'm flabbergasted. Firstly, because I never thought of Ofoto as a free storage space. I always thought of it as a place to upload pictures so you can order prints. Or maybe to share with other people who might want to order prints. But as storage? No. It's a side benefit, but no. Then I was also flabbergasted that this person would upload her photos and then not keep copies of the files on her hard drive as a backup. Or burn them to a CD. Sheer insanity. You don't throw your valuable memories on a website you don't control, and then delete all your personal copies. NEVER EVER! Did we not live through the dotcom bust when websites disappeared without a whisper? And it's not like you can download the original files back from Ofoto once they have them. What if you wanted to do something else with the file?

Lastly, she changed email addresses and didn't update the one on file with them, so they sent 5 warning emails and she never got them. I would say that at this point, she can only blame herself. I'm not saying "too bad" but I am saying that you have to use common sense. If all your child's baby photos are only available on a photo printing website like Snapfish or Ofoto, you'd better order up prints of all of them in case something happens. Do not trust 3rd party companies to own and care for your files. I am telling you this as a customer service, because apparently this isn't quite so obvious to everyone.

I picked up the Boston Herald today because of the picture on the front. You see, Junior is 7, prime viewing age for all the Nickelodeon shows. Late every afternoon is the time for U-Pick Live, a show that combines games, interviews and cartoons selected by the viewers. One of the hosts, Brent, is apparently a Chelmsford native, so we have often heard him passionately praise the Sox and the Pats.

I assume the picture on the Herald is less because of the Brent connection and more how goofy the photo looks, but there is Pick-Boy, one of the regulars on U-Pick, in his Pick-Boy costume, interviewing Patriot Kevin Kasper, who looks amused if nothing else.

I actually bought a copy because I thought Junior would get a kick out of it, but maybe I'm delusional. No less delusional than the editor who picked that photo to take up half the front page, though. (Link only valid on 2/2/05)

I've been in a good mood for two whole days now! Can you imagine? Me! A good mood! See what a successful birthday party will do for you? Gosh, I should go into party planning, don't you think? Except I don't want to have to deal with all the little teeny details. So I want to be the high-level planner. Come up with the theme, other ideas like that. That probably isn't enough to hang up a shingle for, but hey, feel free to ask me to help you come up with a party idea.

Here's a freebie for a summer party: arrange ahead of time to have an ice cream truck stop at the party, let everyone get something free from the truck. Sort of like an open bar. I mean, who doesn't love an ice cream man?

Hang on, I forgot to change my calendar to February.

Okay, thanks.

Where was I? Oh, right. Being in a good mood. I'm hoping I can get that strung out until at least the weekend. We'll see.