The Big DumpTruck

I am a lazy fart. I'm okay with that. So it's July 22nd, but my watch says it's the 21st, because June only has 30 days, and my watch has 31 numbers. So on July 1st I was supposed to move the date ahead a day. Except I didn't. And I haven't yet. It's easier to look at it and add a day - at least, that's what I keep telling myself.

So I got to thinking: if I never adjusted the date manually again, how long will it take for my watch to show the correct date again. And bonus question, how long would it stay correct? You may answer in the comments. Oh, and I haven't actually figured out the right answer yet because that involves math and what the hell do you people expect from me, anyway?

Labels: fun, quiz

I have been lax in my writing. I will blame this on something external to myself, as usual. Today, I will blame being lax on a lack of high quality snack foods in my home. I will blame the lack of high quality snack foods on the fact that I detest grocery shopping and haven't gone in a while. I will blame the lack of grocery shopping on getting paid only once a month. I will blame getting paid once a month on my employer. So the fact that I haven't been writing is clearly the fault of The Man.

Based on a phone call I had with [Nameless Person] I am going to try to do better. I know that I can claim to be a "professional" author because of the thyroid-specific articles I have written for Thyroid-Info.com. But what happened to my excitement over the "new" book project that had me out registering domain names in the middle of the night? Lost that energy. So I was rethinking that book and I think I can tweak my approach slightly and still make it work. So I'm going to promise myself and everyone that I will have at least 500 words written by the end of the day Friday. And a minimum of another thousand by the end of the weekend. Of course, by writing that I will find 50 other things that just NEED to get done.

I have to wash my bedspread, for instance. It is covered with dog nose prints. I do not want to sleep with something that smells like a dog. (He probably doesn't want it to smell like a human, but I have opposable thumbs so I win.) I don't think it will fit in my washing machine, so I'll have to actually leave the house to get this thing cleaned. Do you know how much work it's going to be to get my ass to a laundromat? People, please! I'm only human.

Okay, off to find more coffee. These words aren't just going to write themselves.

Labels: chores, dog, writing

I bought myself a good report card present. Long story short is that Junior and I were watching Undercover Brother on Comedy Central last night (yes, I know, but they censor it so it was okay). The soundtrack to that movie kicks ASS! I realized that it should be the soundtrack to me picking up the new wheels this afternoon. Because I had to go to Target to buy a box gross of Goldfish Crackers anyway, I decided to look for the soundtrack because I wouldn't have time to order it from Amazon and have it for early afternoon.

Target didn't have the soundtrack (I would have been shocked if it had) but they did have one of those displays of "party" music and themed CDs. So I found one called "Funk Party Playlist" (ya, I know) and it had about 80% of the songs from the soundtrack, all for 8.99. So I now own Funk Party Playlist, which yes, has the original hits by the original stars (been burned by THAT before).

I have to decide which song to play first when they hand me the keys: Brick House or Super Freak. Or perhaps She's a Bad Mama Jama? Funkytown and Give up the Funk will be in heavy rotation later today as well. After that, of course, I'll slip in some songs from my iPod that involve cars and driving, including Jonathan Coulton's "Drive".

ZoomZoom!

The bad news is that I'm not going to have time to do any car shopping this week. The good news is that I'm done shopping and pick up the new hotness on Tuesday. The mom-mobile will be traded in to find love with some other family. Now that it's mostly just me and the boy in the car, I didn't really need a 7 passenger mini-van. I'm back to a sedan, and I'm actually pretty happy about it. I loved my van (a Sienna LE) but it was just tooooo big to a commuter car. I will keep you in the dark until I have a picture of the new wheels.

The boy is also scheduled for some Jimmy Fund baseball games - 6 between now and August 1st. So practice tomorrow and a game on Thursday. And my nephew's All Star game is tonight, so it's a Very Special Baseball Week. Oh, and the dentist on Wednesday. They are going to yell at me for not taking Junior to see an orthodontist, but you know what? The kid hasn't lost or gained ANY new teeth in the past 2 years. He's waaaaaay behind and they aren't going to do anything for him. But I promise, this summer, we'll go see someone. One of you remind me, okay?

So that's about it for the sort-of-mundane portion of the post. I'm sorry it had to be like this. I did play a rousing round of frolf last night. Wait, you don't know what frolf is? Do you have a GameCube or a Wii? You do? Okay, go find this game. It's called RibbitKing. It's a strange little game that at its peak was pretty much only ten bucks. It is one of my favorite games ever. It's sort of like golf but it involves aliens hitting things that make frogs fly. There's more too it but I haven't had any coffee yet. Actually, here are links to the Playstation2 version of the game and the GameCube version of the game.

Labels: baseball, fun, games

If you're lucky, you'll get ice cream at Uhlman's in Marlboro and this will be your view. I like the peach, it's only available while the peaches are picking in N.E., so right now is good.

Mmmmm. Peaches.



by Big DumpTruck.

I didn't get you a present. I got you a card but I couldn't find it this morning. I asked my son to make one for you because everyone loves a card made by a child but he started drawing robots and Pokemon and eventually it looked nothing like a birthday card with all the eraser shavings.

So I don't have a card or a present or cake, because I threw out all the cake mixes a couple of weeks ago. Did you know they have a date stamped on the bottom and when they hit about 2 years past the date on the bottom of the box you are really probably not supposed to make them. I think it has something to do with not wanting to get sick and die from eating elderly cake mix. Or something.

In your honor, I did wash out the inside of my rubbish barrel today. Oh, and I put more windshield washer fluid in the car. As you can see, it's been a very busy morning for me. Happy birthday, I hope you have as awesome a day as I'm having!

P.S. I don't really like having your birthday on a Saturday. Can we try to avoid this in the future? Thanks.

Labels: holidays, letters

I'm not sure how it happened. I thought I had put June in my purse, next to my wallet and my car keys, but then when I went to look for it, it wasn't there. I checked the counters, but you know, they are a bit messy at my house. I have plenty of bits of this and that on the counter, bags of doggie treats and little boy treats, but no June. As hard as I looked for it, it simply wasn't there.

I looked in the trunk of my car, under the folding chairs, baseball equipment and kites, but there was no sign of June; none at all.

It's as if June up and disappeared on me. I suppose I will just have to get resigned to the idea that June is missing and won't be found, and focus my attention on July. I really don't want to lose July the way I lost June so I'm going to keep closer watch on it. Starting tomorrow, when I take an extra day off to spend some quality time with it. Just me and July, maybe going for a road trip, buying ice cream, listening to some tunes. I think July and I are going to get along really well.

Labels: humor, summer, Vacation