The Big DumpTruck

Go Get Ice Cream

2009-07-04T12:09:00.002-04:00

If you're lucky, you'll get ice cream at Uhlman's in Marlboro and this will be your view. I like the peach, it's only available while the peaches are picking in N.E., so right now is good.

Mmmmm. Peaches.

by Big DumpTruck.

Happy Birthday, America!

2009-07-04T11:01:00.002-04:00

I didn't get you a present. I got you a card but I couldn't find it this morning. I asked my son to make one for you because everyone loves a card made by a child but he started drawing robots and Pokemon and eventually it looked nothing like a birthday card with all the eraser shavings.

So I don't have a card or a present or cake, because I threw out all the cake mixes a couple of weeks ago. Did you know they have a date stamped on the bottom and when they hit about 2 years past the date on the bottom of the box you are really probably not supposed to make them. I think it has something to do with not wanting to get sick and die from eating elderly cake mix. Or something.

In your honor, I did wash out the inside of my rubbish barrel today. Oh, and I put more windshield washer fluid in the car. As you can see, it's been a very busy morning for me. Happy birthday, I hope you have as awesome a day as I'm having!

P.S. I don't really like having your birthday on a Saturday. Can we try to avoid this in the future? Thanks.

I Seem to Have Misplaced June

2009-07-01T08:56:00.003-04:00

I'm not sure how it happened. I thought I had put June in my purse, next to my wallet and my car keys, but then when I went to look for it, it wasn't there. I checked the counters, but you know, they are a bit messy at my house. I have plenty of bits of this and that on the counter, bags of doggie treats and little boy treats, but no June. As hard as I looked for it, it simply wasn't there.

I looked in the trunk of my car, under the folding chairs, baseball equipment and kites, but there was no sign of June; none at all.

It's as if June up and disappeared on me. I suppose I will just have to get resigned to the idea that June is missing and won't be found, and focus my attention on July. I really don't want to lose July the way I lost June so I'm going to keep closer watch on it. Starting tomorrow, when I take an extra day off to spend some quality time with it. Just me and July, maybe going for a road trip, buying ice cream, listening to some tunes. I think July and I are going to get along really well.

Speedy Delivery Pizza

2009-06-25T11:03:00.000-04:00

Over on Gizmodo there is a story about a pizza oven that you can plug into your car's lighter. I think this is awesome on so many levels. I'm sure you will all agree with me when I explain.

1. Pizza rules. Everyone loves pizza. If you do not love pizza, I don't think you and I can be friends any more. I'm sorry, but it's just that our friendship would be based on a lie, and I can't have that. So long, I'll miss you.

2. Sometimes, driving makes you hungry. Or maybe it's that driving is boring and I tend to like to eat when I'm bored, which may explain the closet full of circus tent clothing. But just think, no more will I grocery shop while hungry, because I can cook a pizza in between my house and the grocery store. Sure, I might have to take the long way to the store, or sit in the parking lot while it finishes cooking, but hey, pizza!

3. How many times have you been invited out on a picnic and thought "gee, I wish I could have pizza instead of cold cuts." Well lookee here, you will be the belle of the ball with your car-based pizza oven!

4. Goodbye, stinky Pine Tree air fresheners, hello pepperoni-scented upholstery!

Seriously, do you really need any other excuses to run out and get one of these? I think not.

Oh, for the Golden Days of the Lubritorium!

2009-06-22T15:59:00.001-04:00

lubritorium, originally uploaded by Big DumpTruck.

Headed up to Lowell to watch the Spinners game in the rain yesterday. We lasted four whole innings, which is 4 more innings than I wanted to spend in the rain, thank you. But hey, it's all about the kids, isn't it? So when my 74 year old mother became insistant that we go to the game, we went to the game.

While we were waiting at a light in Lowell, I looked over at the gas station with the "It Kicks" sign (see my photostream on Flickr for that one), Haffner's, I spotted this sign on the wall of the garage: Lubritorium. I think that may be the greatest word in the history of words about places you can go to get lubed. No, really.

First Weekend of Summer

2009-06-20T11:24:00.003-04:00

This weather makes me want to nap. A lot. Had to get up early for a 9am appointment and ran two errands but now the rest of the day is free. Except for the need to get groceries, but who wants to do that. I'm sure I can make a meal out of items found around the house. I can pretend I'm on Iron Chef, or that show they used to have where you would hand a chef $10 worth of stuff you bought at the store and they would have to make a meal out of it. My $10 worth of food could be made up of canned goods. What can I make out of baked beans, canned yams and chicken noodle soup. Mmmmmm, that's good eatin'!

Archives, We've Got Archives

2009-06-16T21:06:00.003-04:00

[Editor: Found the list. Whew!]

I was pawing through the old Dump archives just now, because I was looking for my old blogroll list. I know I kept a copy of it before I deleted the code off my website, because sometimes I'm smarter than I look. Except I can't find it so I don't know that I do actually have a copy. In which case I am a huge moron.

Junior was sitting with me, and he wanted to know if I had anything written about him from back when he was born. There isn't a lot in the main dump, and that's likely because a)having a baby sucks up all your energy, man. And b) I had created a web page just for him, but I can't find any trace of it anywhere. So sad to lose your history like that. And I know I've already written here about not being able to find the page, but that's just something we'll all have to live with. My obsessive-compulsive hoarding disorder (not formally diagnosed, but sometimes you can read about something and there is NO WAY you don't have it) means that I will freak about losing web pages FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.

It's so fun to be me.

He had this to say to me after reading a post about his first trip to the playground: "That's why I like water slides. It mixes slides and swimming."

Okay, well, now I have to try to figure out what I did with the list of sites that were on my blogroll. This does chap my hide. And my lips.

To-Do Volume Two

2009-06-05T10:08:00.002-04:00

I know a lot of you who follow me on Twitter or FB know that last Saturday's to-do list was a bust. Very hard to accomplish anything at all. The Gods were against me, I tell you.

So do I need to decide: do I work from a to-do list this weekend or not? And if so, is it okay to fill it with things like

drink a margarita
put a new color on my toes
Buy a little something for myself
play some Sims 3

Or do I have to add a line item about cleaning all the crap off the ironing board and fold it up for the first time in 2 years?

Look At Me, I'm Driving a Big Rig!

2009-06-04T09:15:00.000-04:00

Am I the only person who drives a minivan who sometimes pretends she's driving a bus or a large truck?

Oh.

Nevermind.

My Eye Twitch Prevents Me From Looking Fabulous

2009-05-23T20:16:00.004-04:00

I bought a scarf at Target. I mean, Cole Haan. Right, that's what I meant. So anyway, I like my Ta...Cole Hahn scarf because it makes me look all artsy and stuff. I think if you saw me you would say "there goes a gal who has song in her heart and half a book on her laptop." You might be wrong on both counts, but I won't correct you. You're allowed to exaggerate about me.

But then, you look a little closer. Okay, and a little closer. Dude, personal space! Okay, and that's when you notice my right eye is twitching. I fear you will see this, and immediately think of Herbert Lom as Chief Inspector Dreyfus in the Peter Sellers Pink Panther movies. You know what I mean. If you don't, go order one on Netflix and come back here when you're done watching it. I'll wait.

I think the eye twitch is keeping me from full fabulousness. I do plan to retire to the boudoir early this evening (the boy woke me up at 6:45 ON A SATURDAY!!! because he was having some stomach issues. "Mummy needs her beauty sleep, precious!") Once there, I will try harness the power of my awesomeness for good, not evil.

Merchandise To Be For Sale

2009-05-21T16:50:00.003-04:00

I had a huge brainstorm today. I was trying to write tweets that would make it onto this new website http://tweetingtoohard.com and I came up with one that I loved so much I thought it would look really good on things for sale. So I put it up on the website as a tagline, threw a copyright line down on the bottom of the page, and now I'll get to work designing the product. I think This is going to be the title of the book I'm writing. So consider this my claim. Timestamped (checks watch, 4:53pm) today, May 21st.

Because you are all fans of my fabulous unwritten book, I hope you will buy all the swag that I will have for sale shortly.

In the meantime, don't tell anyone about my new fabulous title in case someone writes faster than I do.

Candyland

2009-05-19T13:10:00.002-04:00

My friend Pia used to get candy sent to her from her family in Norway. And if I was a good girl, she would share it with me. I grew to love one candy in particular, Nidar Laban Seigmenn. These are little people-shaped gummy candies, the best gummy candy I've ever had. They rule. And they aren't readily available in the U.S.

So when we were at Disney last month I found them. FOUND THEM! in Norway, of course. I bought 4 packages, which wasn't nearly enough but I didn't have my pack mule with me, so 4 was enough.

Yesterday we finished bag 3. I have one left. One measly bag. I have to find a supplier, stat. Damn you, Norway, and your delicious but hard to find candy!!!!

[Edit: Wow, iPhone spellcheck really made a good one. No, I've never had gummy candida. Yeesh. Let me just fix that.]

Saint Jody Day

2009-05-15T07:02:00.003-04:00

Some very good friends of mine declared today to be Saint Jody Day. Who am I to argue? I thought I should pass along info about the holiday in case you too want to celebrate. It doesn't have to be a big flashy SJD celebration, mind you, but there are a few traditions which I am starting and should be followed by all celebrants.

1. The eating of the crispy bacon. This year, SJD falls on a Friday, so it is bacon day. But henceforth, every St. Jody's Day shall be baconified.
2. The listening of 80s music. Oh yes. Every Carma Chameleon will Wang Chung tonight.
3. The wearing of the green pants. This is a toughie. This will weed out the wannabes. And yes, olive counts as green.
4. The accepting of offerings from the masses. You know, if there is a mass and it wants to offer something, I will accept it.
5. The writing with the purple pen. St. Jody only uses two types of mass-produced pen, both available at area retailers. Either the Pilot Precise V5, or the Pilot Easytouch (Harder to find in purple - I, however, have one.)

Go forth and have fun!

The Shoe Thing

2009-05-14T18:55:00.000-04:00

I have an issue with my currently available shoe selection. I put on navy blue pants this morning and came to the awful conclusion that I own no shoes to wear with navy blue pants.

Someone has to fix that situation. I assume that someone is me. Unless one of you is a shoe designer looking for someone to beta test a new design. Wait, do designers beta test things? It can't be called that, right? I'm such a geek.

I also need a pair of tan sandals for work. I have some but they are too casual. Need something a tad fancier, and yet, way comfy. I think I could be trying to find something that meets those requirements until I retire.

Thanks, Dom DeLuise

2009-05-05T18:21:00.003-04:00

Our family loved Dom DeLuise. I remember watching Dom's movies with my family when I was young - especially the Burt and Dom movies. We loved watching Dom crack up in the outtakes. I remember when Mr. Dump and I spent a weekend in Manchester, Vermont, and the desk clerk at our hotel told us that a local pizza place was "Dom DeLuise's favorite". Guess where I HAD to eat dinner that night? A little dive place we never would have found. I can't tell you if I liked the food or not, but I was just happy to be able to say that I ate dinner at his favorite place, whether it was actually true or not (he apparently had a home in Dorset, 6 miles or so from Manchester so he must have had at least ONE favorite place in the area).

I was looking at his filmography today, and realized I've seen the majority of the stuff he's done, including Charlie Horse Music Pizza, the show Shari Lewis was doing when she passed in 1999. He's acted in some of my favorite movies. Ignoring the biggies, I'm a big fan of Johnny Dangerously and Wholly Moses. I just love his work.

So thanks, Mr. DeLuise, for making me laugh for, well, my whole life. You made the world a funnier place.

Wonder Woman Lives Here

2009-05-03T13:29:00.002-04:00

And she doesn't even have a cape! Wait, does Wonder Woman wear a cape? ("No capes, dahling")

I entered the danger zone this morning. Lowes. Oh man oh man, it's so unfair that they have so much stuff that I need. Er, want. I went to get some Scott's Step 2 for the lawn. I missed Step 1 for the 10th year in a row. Of course, that's the stuff that I really need. If I kill all the crabgrass, though, the only thing left would be the dandelions, and Step 2 is supposed to kill those. I'd be living on a dirt farm.

Yesterday The Boy, my wonderful awesome child, mowed the front lawn for the first time. I love 11! 11 rules! I get someone to mow my lawn for me for the next 7 or so years! Woot! We only put the Step 2 on the front because the dog has the run of the back yard so we don't treat it with anything. Other than dog waste, that is.

I mowed half of the back yard and The Boy finished it. I also bought a stand for the tabletop grill I got a couple of weeks ago. I'd say I put it together but it was more work to get the packing tape off the box.

Now I'm going to start some tomato seeds in a little "greenhouse" starter kit I bought. I may be starting it all too late, but hey, better late than never. Usually it's never. I'm going to sit and watch them until the tomatoes are done. I'll see you in a couple of months.

Ode to the Wrong Shoes

2009-04-29T13:15:00.004-04:00

Ode to the Wrong Shoes

I wore the wrong shoes today
Right color, wrong brand
My eyes were tired and blurred
when I reached into the closet
hoping for the best
I found them by touch
and at first glance
saw brown shoes and ended my search.
The cuffs of my pants hang lovingly
against the top
But Wait!
These are the Wrong Shoes
They are not my really comfy Merrills
They are tight
and my big toe feels crushed
defeated
stupid brown shoes
you will pay for your sneakiness and
your harm to my toe
with your life.

Swan Flu Watch Continues

2009-04-28T09:20:00.004-04:00

My bout with swan flu, characterized by an urge to eat Kettle Korn and a lack of energy when it comes to dragging my sorry ass out of bed in the morning, appears to be improving. I believe this can be attributed to my making a meal that involved cream of mushroom soup last night. Depression set in, however, when I realized that I forgot to bring the leftover in to work this morning, thus leaving me leftoverless. I certainly hope this does not cause a setback in my rapid recovery path.

As for the visitors stopping by from Universal Hub, I thank you for your kind concern and your page hits. Do feel free to follow me on Twitter. You know, at least until I'm out of the swan flu woods. Or the swan flu meadow.

Vacation and the Swan Flu

2009-04-27T14:38:00.003-04:00

I think I have swan flu. I've been reading about it in the paper, don't you know. It sounds very bad but in reality, if you have swan flu you cough a lot and want to sleep in on Monday mornings. I have both of those symptoms. I'm very concerned that my swan flu will be catchy, so I am trying to avoid doing yard work, which I believe will make the swan flu worse.

You should thank me for being so concerned about spreading my germs.

Oh Lord, I'm Lazy

2009-04-15T22:10:00.001-04:00

I'm typing this on my bed. Downstairs, gerbil Suzy is on her wheel, and the wheel is squeaking. But I don't want to go downstairs to take the wheel out because
a) I don't want to get out of bed
b) I don't want to go downstairs
c) I don't want to have to wash my hands after taking out the wheel.

I wonder if it would be a bad thing to wake up Junior and make him do it. Maybe if I used a stern mom voice he wouldn't question my sanity. Out loud.

Worst Reason to Cancel Baseball Practice

2009-04-10T14:14:00.002-04:00

Junior has practice tomorrow. We heard it might snow. You know, people, by Tax Week, we should have all this snow nonsense behind us. [Yes, of course I know it's not unheard of - our Lamaze class was filled with the result of the Unnamed 4/1 Snowstorm of '97. Not us, we were due a couple of weeks after everyone else. I've told you that before. I'm not making it up.]

I have less than a week until I'm on vacation. I'm pretty sure that I'm not going to make it until then before bursting from anticipation and packing-avoidance. You know, the usual.

My New Favorite Paper

2009-04-03T11:15:00.002-04:00

Picked up an eco-friendly notebook at Staples the other day because the paper was thin. I'm obsessed with thin paper. I like the way it sounds after you've written on it. [Yes, I'm odd. But you already knew that.] The cool thing about this notebook is that it was made in Egypt from bagasse, which is the fancy name for "paper made from sugar cane". Basically they take the pulp of the cane that is left after the extract the sugar and they make paper out of it.

I love this paper. I sometimes write with a fountain pen and it does NOT feather or bleed through, which is amazing, given how thin the paper is. I want to ONLY buy this kind of paper from now on. My only complaint is that Staples only had two sizes of notebooks available and I was looking for one slightly smaller than 6 x 9.5. But I will suffer because it's great stuff. In the meantime, I'm going to look for alternative sources of bagasse paper. Because it's the little things that make me happy.

What If I'm Attacked By Wasps?

2009-04-02T06:53:00.002-04:00

I tried my son's shampoo today. It's kid's shampoo - watermelon "flavored". I thought it might be a good idea because, well, it was 6 o'clock in the morning and that's the kind of decision I make without coffee.

It was sweet smelling. Not so much like watermelon as just sugary watermelon syrup smell. I started to think about it - putting sugar on my head might not be a good idea. What if I get attacked by wasps today? I mean, have you ever seen them around a soda can? My head is like a giant invitation!

Now I'm going to have to wear a bag over my head to keep the wasps away. Suave really should have put that warning on the side of the bottle.

It's a Paul Blart Life

2009-03-26T14:49:00.002-04:00

As I may have mentioned here before (it's getting hard to differentiate between Facebook and Twitter updates and the blog itself, although anyone who reads the blog sees my Twitter updates over there on the right) Junior and I went to see the movie Paul Blart, Mall Cop because it was filmed at one of our local malls, the Burlington Mall in Burlington MA.

We FINALLY went back to the mall last weekend, after literally not going for months. We had intended to go right after watching the movie, but never got around to it (plus didn't have the money to go into the den of temptation).

So this will only be meaningful to folks who have seen the movie, but the rest of you can feel free to continue reading. One of the key things on our list was to figure out where Amy's cart was. We knew you could see a Zales in the background. That was easy to find. And while we were there we spotted a real Burlington Mall security guard on a Segway. You couldn't pay me ENOUGH to do that after the movie came out.

We were upstairs, and I said I wanted to go buy some ink for my fountain pen. Now there are technically 3 stores in the mall that I think could cover being the store that the dickhead guy worked at, but only one of them is a true "pen store" and that is Paradise Pens. I love love love that store, and it made me laugh that they made dickhead work there. As a family, we've spent hundreds of dollars in that shop, so I'm pretty familiar with it.

While buying my ink, I couldn't help but ask the clerk if the pen store was indeed supposed to be his, and he said the producers of the movie spent a lot of time in the store, and even bought a pen. It was likely the one that the dickhead gave to Amy to sign her check in the bank. There is a suspicion that the character might have been modeled after one of the employees, but I would never go so far to claim that, and I would deny saying so. But we have our suspicions that a teeny bit of this guy's personality made it into the movie. Heh.

All in all, a successful Paul Blart mission!

Giving Up on Blogrolling

2009-03-21T09:57:00.003-04:00

I tried to be patient, but it's just not worth it. They got massively hacked last fall, it took six months for them to rebuild their site, and then they launched it, sort of. Kind of. Not all functionality works. If you don't pay twenty bucks, whenever one of your readers clicks a link, it puts an ad at the top of the page you go to. Screw that, why should THEY get money because my readers clicked on a link I recommended? Bad bad bad bad business model.

The final straw is that I cannot log in. See, once upon a time when it was a decent service, you could pay for gold level service. Part of that was being able to have a username instead of using your email address. Now with the changes, they don't seem to recognize my username. There is no way to get support. I cannot log in to make changes to my blogrolls. Which really don't seem to be updating the way they are supposed to.

So I'm going to try to figure something out. I mean, I'd love to be able to use their product, but they have blown it big time. So I will no longer be displaying blogrolling links over on the right menu. I'm sure you're all very sad about the page loading just that much faster, eh?

Buh-bye.