The Big DumpTruck

Yes, 2009 sucked. A lot of people had very bad 2009s. I'm not here to talk about that, but I've had better. 2008 was pretty bad, but 2009... yuck with a rotten cherry on top.

I'm not sure how I feel going into 2010, other than that it feels like it's too soon to be 2010. Where did 2004 go? Huh? Did we skip some days in 2006? I think maybe we did, because I swear, I was paying attention.

Anyhoo, I hope that like me, you stocked up on Bitch Bubbly and raw cookie dough. Settle in kids, we have us a new decade to welcome.

Labels: holidays

Sorry I forgot to wish you a Merry Christmas. It isn't that I didn't want to wish you a merry Christmas, it's just that I did not get around to sending you that message. So instead, I'm going to say "Merry Monday Night, you should have some pizza." I think that covers all of the important things I want for you. And while you are eating your pizza you should order yourself a t-shirt off the internet, and pay for it yourself, and write "from Jody" if there is a spot to send a message. Because I only wish the best for you.

Labels: gifts, holidays

Here's a little something I created yesterday. I'll post the other one in a day or two. You know, spreading out the love.

Labels: funny, movies, video

I used to have a reputation of being a collector of Christmas Music. I think it was a lot easy to be such a thing when you had to buy entire albums, cassettes or CDs of Christmas music. It's much too easy now to just buy one or two songs today.

I did buy an entire CD via MP3 Purchase on Amazon last week, and that is going to be my 2009 recommendation for you. If Trans-Siberian Orchestra toned it down about 2 notches and didn't have any vocal tracks, you'd get the Arctic Express CD "A Christmas Rock Experience."

Some of the reviewers called it the love child of Trans-Siberian Orchestra and Mannheim Steamroller but I don't want to turn people off because they dislike one or the other. It really is just rock and roll Christmas music. Listen to the samples, and if you're like me, you'll just pony up the $6 to download the CD. PLEASE NOTE: There are apparently two versions of this CD up on both Amazon and iTunes. On both sites, one is about half the price of the other. I have no idea why this is, other than that the album has a slightly different name and track ORDER, but the same tracks. I have linked to the cheaper version on Amazon. My gift to you. Disclosure: If you do buy it from Amazon and you use the link above, I think I get a dime or two. If you use the link above and buy other things, I get a few more dimes. I like dimes.

Labels: christmas, Christmas_music, music, Xmas

Dear Santa,

I have been a good girl this year. I have put up with a lot of doo-doo and doo-doo heads and still get up in the morning and face the day. I haven't let the crushing weight of reality grind me into the dirt. I maintain a gorgeous facade of "normal" like nobody's business.

So, then, here are the things I think I deserve. I know you normally just accept letters from kids, but I figured you might have room for one or two things for me, as you will be handing out a stack of IOUs for those Zhu-Zhu Pets hamsters, seeing as they are out of stock all over the place. (I have 3 real gerbils so I'm good on that front. Although the dog might like a fake hamster it would probably destroy it in 5 minutes.)

This year (well, next year) I have some personal goals I'm setting, and I may need a little help with that. I think my big present from you could be some kind of exercise equipment. I don't have any in the house, but I do have one of those body composition scales and I swear to God, it told me that aside from my bones I am completely made of butter. It was scary. And then I ate a donut.

So I need something easy to use and maybe something that will go and lift me off the couch and carry me to it and do half the work for me. Do you have something like that? I think if you don't have that, an elliptical trainer would be a good second choice. I bought some really cute workout pants so all I need is a reason to wear them.

Maybe that's a little heavy for your bag, even with all the empty space where the toy hamsters should have gone. Camera equipment (lenses, flash, etc.) don't take up nearly as much room. Or a gift card to Amazon to buy lenses, flashes, etc. are a good bet. Or jewelry. Jewelry is small, right? You wouldn't even have to put it in your bag, you could keep it in your pocket.

I'm really all about whatever makes this easiest for you, Santa. (See, that ought to take me off the naughty list for a long, long time!)

Love,

Jody

p.s. I won't leave a fire burning this year. Again, I want to make this easy for you.

Labels: christmas, letters, santa