The Big DumpTruck

Throwing Little Thought Pebbles at Your Windshield Since 1996

Category: stuff

IPhone Only

I am going to Disney for a quick getaway , and I made a huge decision: I’m only taking my iPhone camera. No DSLR. No high-end point-and-shoot. I’m traveling light, and hoping I’ll forgive myself when I can’t take any long distance photos.

Not this time. I’m testing out traveling light. I’ve been down often enough (3 trips in the last 3 years) to have lots of great photos of my favorite animals, etc.

My best and most popular photo on Flickr was taken as Disney. It was an astounding combination of right place at the right time (the Red Sox broke the curse while I was on vacation). I can’t say for certain it was the equipment (my iPhone camera is higher res.)

After reading my friend Jamie’s write-up on her AMAZING photos (seriously) taken only with her phone , I figure why not.

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What Are You Looking For?

If you’re here from Twitter looking for pictures of things I’ve pooped, I don’t have that, you masher. Will you go away if I post a picture of something and tell you I pooped it? Okay, I pooped this. It hurt.

20130118-155756.jpg

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Okay, back to nonsense

Do not bitch about the poems. I will ban you to a Walmart bathroom in a rough neighborhood.

You were warned.

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The Carousel of Bad Poetry

I wrote some poems. I don’t think they’re very good. I put them in draft mode here and they’ve been sitting for a year, waiting to see the light of day. I showed them to the guy I was dating at the time, and he liked them but I think he said that because that’s what a good boyfriend does. I have started dating again, probably too soon, but you have to take the opportunity when it presents itself. They know I’m not nearly over the ex, and so far, they’re okay with it. Yes. They. I have been on dates with two different people. This has never happened to me ever ever in the 47 years I have walked this earth. I have only been seriously involved with 4 people. I have only ever dated about 7 or 8, dating back to high school. So this is a big deal. I didn’t know I’d have to be an old lady to be popular. I would have been an old lady a lot longer ago!

But I don’t think I’m ready to test them with bad poems yet. I’m not in a relationship, I’m in a “lets get a sandwich and figure out if we have anything in common-ship.” And it’s not bad at all.

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Helping Hats

I was on Twitter (I do that a lot. It’s why I haven’t been posting as much here, to be honest. I’m @bigdumptruck) and someone passed along this link:

http://www.stopabductions.com/

This site is everything that I love and hate about America rolled into one shiny tinfoil ball!

I love it because it’s full of stark raving crazy, and that’s always fun. I hate it because the people who created it believe every word they wrote. It’s pretty embarrassing to share citizenship with people creating alien abduction hat instructions, when all is said and done. I’d rather the population be a bit more grounded in science. Or reality.

Please, if you do make a hat, send me a picture of you modeling it. I want to know what you look like so I won’t start any unnecessary conversations with you if we’re ever in the same geographic location.

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2011, You Were A Good One

It’s nearly the end of the universe. 2012 and certain death looms, according to the Mayans, people known for accurate end-of-the-world predictions since, um, well, you know.

Hey, it could happen. Or it could have happened yesterday. The good thing is that it reminds us all to try to live life to the fullest, because you only have a set amount of time to enjoy the party. Whether its a silly Mayan prediction, people standing in the desert waiting for aliens to return, or the number 98 bus, we’ve all got a cosmic sleep number.

I’m not saying this is an excuse to shit-can all your responsibilities. It’s not. However, if your choices are to go outside and look for a rainbow after a freak storm versus not being able to leave the house until you’ve cleaned the oven, you may not be living up to your full potential.

I took some brave (for me) steps this year. I took on three photography jobs from which I would have normally run screaming. I signed up for two dating sites, and actually reached out to men instead of just waiting for them to find me. I went on my first first date in 20 years. I became someone’s girlfriend. I refinanced my house so it’s all my responsibility now. I’m allowing myself to realize I am worthy of love and affection, and damn it, I can be sexy. If I’m not happy, I’d better take action because nobody but me is responsible for my happiness.

2012 has a lot of potential. I plan to travel more, write more, photograph more and laugh more. I am going to try to be a bit more financially responsible, and less irresponsible with my housekeeping. But no promises on either one of those. It is 2012 after all, and I suppose the Mayans could be right about this one thing. If not, there’s always 2013 to clean up the mess.

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Being Thankful

It’s the time of year when people get all mushy on each other. I approve of this. I love being mushed on. Mushed about. Mushed At. Let’s just say, if you have nice things you want to say to me, you don’t need to wait for Thanksgiving. You can say them to me ANY DAY OF THE WEEK, ANY WEEK OF THE YEAR.

A million years ago, I learned a lesson from my friend Kim. She had this [new to me] habit of always telling her mother she loved her whenever they spoke on the phone. But not in a cursory way, it was really said from the heart, and looking back quite lovely coming from a child. Her mom had instilled in her the idea that you never know if the conversation you’re having with someone will be your last. Do not leave the conversation in anger or annoyance; if appropriate, always tell the person you love them.

I’ve tried to embrace that philosophy in my life, although it’s often difficult. You WANT to slam down the phone and say terrible things some times. You WANT to go to bed angry. But I know that if I were to never talk to someone again, I would feel horrible. Because I don’t hate the people I have allowed into my life. I love them. Minimally, for the people who are more in the periphery of my life (random Twitter followers, the girl who hands me my coffee at the DD in Townsend every day) or more prominent (co-workers, Facebook friends) I am at least thankful to have you in my life. I really am. I’ve written here before how much I love my project team. I really and truly do. I appreciate how much easier and enjoyable they make my life. I went out for drinks with a whole bunch of them yesterday, and I’d do it every day of the week. They really are friends.

And I have a new person in my life who has grown to mean so much to me that it’s hard for me to put it into words. I am so thankful for even being able to write that sentence. I feel like I’ve been given a huge gift, and I promise to be thankful for that gift, every day.

I’m glad Thanksgiving gives us a chance to remember to spread the mush. Everyone deserves to be mushed on, now and again. So thanks to all of you, for stopping by, leaving comments, and just doing all the things you do. You’re good people.

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Some Day, My Moe Will Come

It’s quiet in here. We haven’t had power for 24 hours. I’m watching the stockpile of Duraflame dwindle, and I wonder what kind of joy I will find tomorrow morning. Will there be heat? I can only hope.

Parts of me are warm, though. The inside parts. The place where I keep the happy and the singing and the love.

So for now I won’t worry about the load of towels that were 5 minutes in the dryer when the power went off. We’ll listen to Stevan Pasero on the battery-operated iPod speakers and I’ll watch the fire, knowing out there, somewhere, someone is thinking of me.

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Peeing Like a REAL MAN

I love the people on my project team. I cannot express in words how much I love them all. Friday, 4 of us were stuck in a tiny conference room, and topics ranged from giant horrible spiders, how to properly poach an egg, farting, and whether ladies rooms are dirtier than men’s rooms. These are pretty typical topics, by the way. The men’s room topic morphed into a discussion about how great it would be if women could stand up to pee (it would be) and my project sponsor mentioned he’d heard a story on the radio about a product that helps women pee standing up. Of course, that became the most important thing ever.

I let one co-worker get so far as typing “Female Urination” into his work laptop’s Google search before we pointed out that pressing Enter would cause every security person in the building to come bursting through the door. I pulled up search on my iPhone – the single greatest reason to own a smartphone on the planet is to be able to do searches without invoking the “red corporate security screen of death”.

We found the product in question – the “Go Girl“. At the time, Amazon had it for $4. How could I NOT buy one for $4? Plus Amazon Prime’s $3.99 overnight shipping meant I’d have it today. Oh, yes. Yes indeed.

UPS dropped off the package before I was even out of bed this morning. My room is over the back door, and I heard my friendly UPS driver yell out “UPS!” and I knew it was my lucky day. Sent the boy to fetch the package and ripped into it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

That looks vaguely, um.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And here is the booty: a plastic storage bag (for after you use it), two squares of toilet paper (obviously, not enough) and taa-daa, the Go Girl.

 

I don’t have photos of me using it, but I did use it, right before I took a shower. It was weird. It worked fine; no, uh, spillage. It would be awkward to have to do something with it immediately after use (“excuse me while I put this urine-covered silicone funnel in my purse.”) The real test will be trying to use it while I’m dressed. I’m tempted to go out in the woods with it, to simulate a real-world scenario. It would probably be good to have friends giving me beer and encouraging me – you can’t get more real-world than that.

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All Ellen, All the Time

According to fans of Ellen Sojka. Lifetime, Discovery Channel and for some reason, the TV Guide Channel, are in a rabid bidding war over who will get the rights to show

Ellen: All Day, Every Day (Except Wednesday. At 2:30).

Ellen Sojka, a Littleton MA native, seemed surprised to learn about all the attention, stating, “I can’t talk on the phone right now, I have to cut my hair.”

We believe this refers to Ellen Sojka’s recent hair style change, according to published reports found on Tumblr: http://jodysays.tumblr.com/post/10141575157/ellen-sojka-sets-new-trend.

Once she hung up the phone we were unable to reach Ms. Sojka for additional comments or photos.

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