Posted in complaint department, The Internet

My Web Stats

I was just looking at stats for this blog. The ones built into WordPress only date back to when I started using WordPress. I do have stats that date back to the 90s, or I should said I would if the stat company was still around and I could remember my login. I know I used to get a LOT more traffic when I started out than I do now.

The two things I wanted to share are

  • The most popular page, in the past 2 years is my Love Boat post.
  • The stat tool needs a usability review. The stats by year date back to 1970 and are in ascending order. So I have to scroll EVERY time to see the years that have numbers in them. Were they actually tracking web hits in 1970? Could we jump forward at least 20 years? Or use descending order. OR, if looking at stats for a specific post, limit the timespan to when the post was published.
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Posted in coolness, Real Life, Shopping

Sports Bottle Winner

As we all continue to embrace the world of reusable water bottles and travel mugs, I wanted to take a few moments to share my continued wonder and amazement at the Corkcicle line of products. Previously documented here as my pick for best travel mug, I now own one of their sports bottles, and have a review for you. I provide this service for free, for people who place “keeping things cold” high on their criteria for this kind of product.

I should state up-front I don’t use this bottle for sports, even though it is a sports bottle. That said, should some sports break out around me, I will be prepared to hydrate. Last night when I was rushing to get home, I tossed the Not-empty bottle into a desk drawer instead of emptying it first. The screw top would prevent issues.

Yesterday I opened the bottle at 1pm, 20-21 hours after the last time I filled it, and IT STILL HAD ICE IN IT. I am a Corkcicle believer, with multiple travel mugs that are so good at keeping coffee hot I have to add an ice cube if I want to drink it on my entire 50 minute commute.

I bought mine at The Paper Store for $27, and Amazon has them for around the same price with discounts.  If you live near a Paper Store, they regularly have 50% off coupons in their catalogs.

Corkcicle
My Water Bottle (get your own!)
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Games I Would Invent

I ran across an IOS game today that struck me as being exactly the kind of game I would make up if I were writing a story/play/script and I had to include a video game.

Virtual Beggar is a game where you are a beggar who can work your way up off the streets. Or possibly guess not, if you aren’t very good at virtual begging for handouts.

Virtual Beggar by Treetop Crew Ky,

Hey, maybe you guys can give me money to write a story that would include a game like this one so I won’t spend all my spare time simulating begging! Best of all worlds!

In the meantime, I did download the game because I assumed you would want me to. It requires very little human interaction, if you don’t want to actively “play”. I can set all my employees to work and most will earn coins for at least an hour. I don’t know what the endgame is, but in the meantime it’s actually kind of engaging and also I have hired Santa as one of my employees in the office building I bought with the money I earned begging. That’s right. I’m a real estate tycoon business beggar!

I live in a house now. I stand on my lawn with my hamster (people give more when you have a pet) and people, like a pantsless Mexican man, throw money at me.

So would I recommend this game? Sure, it’s free, and I can pull out my phone, put all my employees to work with a couple of clicks, and close the app while they make me a pile of coins. If only I could figure out how to enjoy this type of wild success with no startup costs in real life.

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Posted in Shopping, stuff

Illuminati Bug Catcher

I was looking to buy a bug vacuum and this one had great reviews. PERFECT!

Bug catcher or travel cube? Click to view on Amazon

Bug catcher or travel cube? (Click to view on Amazon)

I’m glad I decided to read these amazing reviews, which were for multiple other products, but definitely not the bug vacuum. So either a bug vacuum can be used as packing cubes, or you pack the bugs in the cubes after sucking them up. I think I want to buy the other products now because I definitely want

  • A Guardians of the Galaxy poster delivered in a real cardboard box, not a cheap plastic tube. Wait, the bug vacuum has a plastic tube. The poster could be stored in that part?
  • Magic stones to ward off the Illuminati. Or support them. The reviews are unclear.
  • Travel cubes that will easily fit my underwear. I mean, the bug vacuum is a tube you could store things in, right?

I think the Illuminati should consider being paid pitchmen for important products like pickle forks, clip-on fans, steering wheel covers, or everyone’s favorite Illuminati branded tank tops and flip flops. 

In case Amazon straightens out the reviews, here’s an example.

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