Posted in Brain Dump, Real Life, TV, video

Is Die Hard a Christmas Movie?

I’ve decided to finally wade into the whole “is die hard to Christmas movie” thing. I had never seen the entire movie, so friends and family arranged for a viewing party. I can now have an opinion on this topic.

Before getting to my hot take, let me state I understand these things can be subjective. Your experiences shape your perception, and a huge number of people consider it a “Christmas movie” based on those experiences. To me, the key is differentiating between a “Christmas movie” and a “Christmas tradition.”

A Christmas movie should be about Christmas. The primary plot or plot-drivers are Christmas-based, whether it’s about the traditional nativity story, Santa, celebrating the holiday(s) or the more difficult to pin down “Spirit of Christmas”.

Leonard Maltin said cannot just be set at Christmas, it has to be about the Spirit of Christmas. Others say they should be movies the whole family can watch together, which clearly this one isn’t, but we’ll leave that aside for this discussion.

Die Hard is a movie set on Christmas Eve, with all the holiday decor and music. There is a big holiday office party (which would never ever ever happen on Christmas Eve but that’s for another essay) but it’s not about Christmas. They could have set it in June and you would only need to change the reason for the office party and why John was traveling to CA. There are all kinds of Christmas visuals and references, such as the name Hans Gruber being painfully close to the name of Silent Night composer Franz Gruber. They are great, but don’t make the move about Christmas. It’s about robbery, violent killings and the need to NEVER TAKE OFF YOUR SHOES!

Now, everything I just said does not negate the fact that the movie is a beloved Christmas tradition for tens of thousands of Americans. And those folks insist it is a Christmas movie. However, just because something is one of your holiday traditions doesn’t make it a Christmas movie. Countless Americans watched The Sound of Music with their families every December, thanks to the network that owned the rights. Plenty of folks still consider it a Christmas movie because of that, but obviously it’s not.

I watch Little Women every Christmas season. Because of that I think of it as a Christmas movie, but really it’s not. While a few scenes are set at Christmas, the primary plot isn’t Christmas-specific.

When we were young, my sister considered Neil Diamond’s 12 Greatest Hits a Christmas record because we would pull it out and listen to it in December. That timing imprinted on her, and one time she referred to it as a Christmas album. Clearly it’s not, but decades later we refer to it as a Christmas album to tease her. (She’ll be pleased I included this anecdote, but it’s important to illustrate my point.) While you can call anything a Christmas [thing] if that’s how you think of it, it doesn’t make it objectively true.

In conclusion, Die Hard is a Christmas tradition, but it isn’t a Christmas Movie. If it’s yours, by all means seek it out and watch it every December. Keep (or make) your holiday traditions as best you can, and watch anything that makes you happy, whenever and wherever you’d like.

Yippee-ki-yay to all, and to all a good night!

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Posted in coolness, Podcast, stuff, The Internet

Is it time to Podcast Again?

I’m down to zero web hits a day. I learned there was a WordPress setting I’d never noticed that hid my site from search engines, which is kind of the opposite of what I want. I’d like to be the top hit for such classic search terms as

“Not Goonies, the other one” *

“How to cook dinosaur meat” and

“The best Jody in the universe”

I had a video podcast in 2008 that was wiped off the face of the earth when I stopped paying for the mac.com account that hosted the files. Apparently. It’s okay, because nobody needed to see me sitting on my bed talking about how many pairs of green pants I owned. [Newsflash: Too many! 2017 update: None at present!]

Maybe that’s a GOOD thing to podcast. Maybe that minutiae (or as we call it around here, “thought pebbles”) is what will help someone choose life. Chose to get up and fight the good fight. Make the donuts. I think anyone reading this because they wanted to know what the other movie was that wasn’t the Goonies (Shit, I don’t know, I didn’t even see that one. Are you thinking of Stand By Me? 12 Angry Men? Little Mermaid?) would also need a podcast by me because clearly I am going to improve your life.

I will have to get on that.

*I swear to God, this came up when I typed “not the goon”** in Google. The results are all about The Goonies. Not the other one.

**It’s complicated

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Posted in Uncategorized

Sucky Movies and A New Website

My son picked out a movie at Movie stop. I knew I wasn’t going to like it because I’ve tried to watch it before, but really, there are two reasons this should be a good movie. 1: Mel Brooks can be funny. 2: Parodies amuse me.

However, the movie in question is Spaceballs and it’s pretty much unwatchable. I say pretty much because every once in a while there is a line that in a funny movie would be fabulous. Like the line “What’s the matter Colonel Sandurz? Chicken?”

Oh look, Mel Brooks showing off all his movies on VHS! Wait, there is a self-reference to the movie Spaceballs in the movie Spaceballs? I think some brain cells really and truly just exploded right now. Deep Hurting.

So to prevent extra pain from actually watching the movie, I think I finally got my new website running with a template I can live with, at least for now. Take a spin over to Photo-Gnome to see what I’ve been doing. Oh, and by the way, if you try to go there yourself, remember that someone else got the .com, I’m the .net (and the .info, but who is going to remember that, right?)

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Posted in Uncategorized

It’s a Paul Blart Life

As I may have mentioned here before (it’s getting hard to differentiate between Facebook and Twitter updates and the blog itself, although anyone who reads the blog sees my Twitter updates over there on the right) Junior and I went to see the movie Paul Blart, Mall Cop because it was filmed at one of our local malls, the Burlington Mall in Burlington MA.

We FINALLY went back to the mall last weekend, after literally not going for months. We had intended to go right after watching the movie, but never got around to it (plus didn’t have the money to go into the den of temptation).

So this will only be meaningful to folks who have seen the movie, but the rest of you can feel free to continue reading. One of the key things on our list was to figure out where Amy’s cart was. We knew you could see a Zales in the background. That was easy to find. And while we were there we spotted a real Burlington Mall security guard on a Segway. You couldn’t pay me ENOUGH to do that after the movie came out.

We were upstairs, and I said I wanted to go buy some ink for my fountain pen. Now there are technically 3 stores in the mall that I think could cover being the store that the dickhead guy worked at, but only one of them is a true “pen store” and that is Paradise Pens. I love love love that store, and it made me laugh that they made dickhead work there. As a family, we’ve spent hundreds of dollars in that shop, so I’m pretty familiar with it.

While buying my ink, I couldn’t help but ask the clerk if the pen store was indeed supposed to be his, and he said the producers of the movie spent a lot of time in the store, and even bought a pen. It was likely the one that the dickhead gave to Amy to sign her check in the bank. There is a suspicion that the character might have been modeled after one of the employees, but I would never go so far to claim that, and I would deny saying so. But we have our suspicions that a teeny bit of this guy’s personality made it into the movie. Heh.

All in all, a successful Paul Blart mission!

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