Posted in Uncategorized

Gosh, Where Can I Get a Top-Loading VCR?

Hey kids! It’s your old pal Apple Johnnyseed reminding you to swing by the Old AV for all your old audio-visual needs! Betamax? Reel-to-reel? We got that, and more! This week only a sale on 8-Track players and accessories! The first 5 customers will get the new Beatles 8-Track, Magical Mystery Tour, for a buck!

Old AV

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Posted in Uncategorized

Gobsmacked!

No, not another post about the Palin/Biden debate. Although I sure had fun “live tweeting” about it. Glad I wasn’t playing the “drink whenever Palin says something folksy” game. I had work the next morning!

For whatever reason, when I got home the step-son was watching some reality TV thing on Bravo. The show that followed was called Tabatha’s Salon Takeover. The first episode we watched was about a salon in Long Island. It might have been the best television I have seen in years.

I do not say that lightly.

You could not have cast or written a scripted show that would have entertained me as much as this group of hairdressers. Two in particular, were FANTASTIC. The premise of the show is that Tabatha Coffey, a world-class hugely famous hair stylist and salon owner (apparently an icon in the industry) gets called in by drowning salon owners to “save” their businesses. It appears that the biggest problems are the owners, who don’t know how to properly run a business, don’t have any control over their staff, etc. etc. The first show we watched featured two Long Island sisters who ran their salon, bankrolled by daddy, like a sorority house. If you have a chance to watch this episode, you must. I’m a nice person, so I’m not going to comment on two of the girls working at the salon, but needless to say, I wanted to hit them with shovels.

We watched a 2nd episode, which was also interesting, but couldn’t hold a candle to the first one in the sheer brainless staff department.

I don’t know if the show will hold up for me over the course of a whole season or two, but our entire house was howling during these shows. Minimally you must Tivo it, just to watch when there isn’t anything else on.

Oh, and Tabatha is British, and she’s often “Gobsmacked.” That’s my new favorite word, although I don’t know how easily I can slip it into conversation.

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Posted in Uncategorized

Here’s Your Quote of the Day

From Dump Friend Pia, via email:

“Whatever you give a woman, she’s going to multiply. If you give her sperm,
she’ll give you a baby.If you give her a house, she’ll give you a home. If you
give her groceries, she’ll give you a meal.If you give her a smile, she’ll give
you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her.
So – if you
give her any crap, you will receive a ton of shit.” Author
unknown

I will admit, no matter how many groceries you give me, there is a damned good chance you won’t get a meal. But I can give you a written guarantee on the ton of shit.

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Posted in coolness, humor, Real Life

I Am Tammy Faye

It’s never good to get an email from someone with only two words and a link in it, if the two words are “Uhhh, Jody?”

So I have no idea why this person has sent me a link to a Huffington Post article (originally published in 2007, republished Saturday), until I get about halfway down, and see, much to my amazement, my picture. A picture I modified using Paint Shop Pro 3.5 years ago, that to this day floats around the internet as an example of a bad makeup job. Even though it’s not makeup, it was me playing with photo editing software. A photo that originally appeared here on the BDT on the day of my 40th birthday party, because I was wearing my birthday tiara.

Mr. Dump asked me if I was going to contact them for credit, and I said “Are you kidding me?” Here’s the thing. That’s not how I look. That’s not real makeup, and I don’t smoke. Do you think people will take the time to find that out? Do you think they will look at the original photo and the modified one and figure it all out? No, they’ll think I’m Tammy-Faye-Courtney-Love LaFerriere. And that would be bad.

On the other hand, I find it INCREDIBLY amusing that a photo of me is used next to one of JLo [update: it was changed from Reese Witherspoon] on a hugely popular multi-national website. I hope people don’t confuse us.

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Posted in humor

Minimal? Well That’s Good News

I was on the Accuweather website just now, looking to see if rain is expected to mar Junior’s 2nd playoff baseball game tonight. I happened to scroll down past the important (to me) information and spotted the following table. What struck me as amusing is that they just aren’t completely ruling out any of the things in the far right column. It’s the first day of summer. And you aren’t willing to say there is no chance of heavy snow? That there is minimal chance just because that way if the temperature drops fifty degrees you’ll be covered? Good to know.

weather odds chart showing minimal chance of heavy snow

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