Posted in coolness, humor, lists

St. Jody Day 2013

I posted a link to the original St. Jody Day post back in 2009 (the first official St. Jody Day) on Facebook and Twitter. It is here. Go catch up, and then come back.  I think in the 4 years since then, we have learned a few things and we should add more items to the list of ways to celebrate.

Therefore, on what would have been my 20th wedding anniversary if, say, I had remained married the last four years (oops) I declare an update to the St. Jody Day rules!

6. The wearing of the tiara. You don’t have a tiara? Well, there are malls all over the world. Most of them should have a tiara store. Look near the yacht store.
7. The plugging in of twinkle lights. Don’t have twinkle lights? And you call yourself my friend? I HOARD twinkle lights. But I’m not sharing. If you have a fake Christmas tree, put it up and turn it on. There is no excuse.
8. The faving and RTing of my work on Twitter. For goodness’ sake, people, why do I only have 425 followers? And why am I not more popular? On St. Jody Day, you’d better bust out the big guns and make me feel loved!
9. The slurping of mai tais and ice cream. My darling cousin Jacqui and her darling husband Ron helped me celebrate my first St. Jody Day by taking me to a chinese buffet, followed by ice cream at Kimball’s in Westford MA. Two mai tais during dinner guaranteed I would have to be carried to the window to order my ice cream. You may choose to limit yourself to one mai tai, but get an extra scoop on your cone.

Is that enough? Never, but I don’t want to overwhelm the newbies. I think this St. Jody Day will be legendary.

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Posted in coolness, photos

Only an iPhone: Results

You know, it was okay just taking the iPhone to Disney. I was pretty happy to only have to carry the phone. Of course, iPhone batteries are not your friend when you’re away from a plug for 12-14 hours a day, so only having the iPhone for your camera and ALSO your phone AND your computer, means by dinner time you are in a panic over how long you can make 20% battery last.

Also, no zoom, no real image stabilization, no RAW data. But hey, rhinos!

Rhinos at rest

I loves me some elephant. (Another iPhone photo from the safari. I will add, this photo and the one of the rhinos were taken when the vehicle had stopped specifically to let us take photos. The animals were all out in force on Saturday.)

2013-01-26 13.46.19

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Posted in coolness, stuff

Helping Hats

I was on Twitter (I do that a lot. It’s why I haven’t been posting as much here, to be honest. I’m @bigdumptruck) and someone passed along this link:

http://www.stopabductions.com/

This site is everything that I love and hate about America rolled into one shiny tinfoil ball!

I love it because it’s full of stark raving crazy, and that’s always fun. I hate it because the people who created it believe every word they wrote. It’s pretty embarrassing to share citizenship with people creating alien abduction hat instructions, when all is said and done. I’d rather the population be a bit more grounded in science. Or reality.

Please, if you do make a hat, send me a picture of you modeling it. I want to know what you look like so I won’t start any unnecessary conversations with you if we’re ever in the same geographic location.

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Posted in coolness, humor, Uncategorized, writing

Tools For Improving My Whole Life

I found a thing on Amazon (and put it on my wishlist!) that is the one thing that I need to make everything in my life fall into place. It will make me healthier, prettier, make men fall in love with me on sight. It will improve my singing voice, my ability to cook chicken, and I’m pretty sure it would get me that Miss America Crown I’ve always wanted.

One thing it would really do well is help me write that book I’ve been meaning to write for the past 30 years. It would help get it published, too. And then it would help the book sell and make me a freaking boatload of money.

I’m of course talking about the Montegrappa Chaos Limited Edition 18K Gold Rollerball Pen.
The Limited Edition 18K Gold Rollerball Pen of my dreams!
 
(Click to view on Amazon)

I think what I like best about it is the fact that the pen comes with not one but two skulls. Sure, all that intricate detail might really irritate your hand after hours of writing with it. But isn’t that a small price to pay for an 18k Gold rollerball?

I feel I must issue a stern warning about this pen, though. The pen, while awesome, is not jewel-encrusted. I can’t think of a single thing that isn’t made better by jewel encrustation. This pen would be, that’s for damned sure.

BUT, I’m going to stick my neck out and still recommend this pen. It is a limited edition, and technically, you could probably attach your own diamonds to it. I mean, I think you should, actually. In fact, I insist upon it. After you order this pen for me, you should arrange to have your favorite jeweler attach diamonds. Maybe a ruby or two. Nothing too ostentatious, but something to add a little pop to the pen. Looking at it now, it’s almost too plain without the jewels. Maybe you should just save your $69,000 while I try to find something better. Or, hey, get this for me and I’ll use it to write you a thank you card.

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