Famous for my conversation spirals and related Wikipedia hopping, I present you with a reenactment (not verbatim) of tonight’s post-dinner conversation.
Me: I wish we had cake. Or really just frosting. Frosting is really all you really want. If you had frosting you could put it on bread and just call it cake.
Me: I’m sorry but I’m going to be giving you your pink slip. I have to let you go. You’re just not providing the level of service I require in this relationship.
Him: [Briefly glances at me]
Me: You haven’t provided what I need. To do a podcast. This relationship is doomed. [pause] I brought you here tonight so I could let you go in person. I wanted to allow you to buy dinner for me and my son one last time.
Him: You don’t want to keep me around to provide Mexican food?
Me: No. Because I can buy my own chalupas at Taco Bell.
Him: What is a chalupa?
Me: I… don’t know. It’s just a great word for a TacoBell product. Did they make it up? [Opens Wikipedia and reads the history of the chalupa]
Me: They say the one at Taco Bell is more like a Gordita. [Clicks link to read about gorditas.]
Me: Gordita means “chubby” in Spanish. Heh heh heh. ‘Do you have a chubby?’ Heh heh heh
I’m down to zero web hits a day. I learned there was a WordPress setting I’d never noticed that hid my site from search engines, which is kind of the opposite of what I want. I’d like to be the top hit for such classic search terms as
“Not Goonies, the other one” *
“How to cook dinosaur meat” and
“The best Jody in the universe”
I had a video podcast in 2008 that was wiped off the face of the earth when I stopped paying for the mac.com account that hosted the files. Apparently. It’s okay, because nobody needed to see me sitting on my bed talking about how many pairs of green pants I owned. [Newsflash: Too many! 2017 update: None at present!]
Maybe that’s a GOOD thing to podcast. Maybe that minutiae (or as we call it around here, “thought pebbles”) is what will help someone choose life. Chose to get up and fight the good fight. Make the donuts. I think anyone reading this because they wanted to know what the other movie was that wasn’t the Goonies (Shit, I don’t know, I didn’t even see that one. Are you thinking of Stand By Me? 12 Angry Men? Little Mermaid?) would also need a podcast by me because clearly I am going to improve your life.
I will have to get on that.
*I swear to God, this came up when I typed “not the goon”** in Google. The results are all about The Goonies. Not the other one.
Okay, so those of you who have subscribed to the podcast via iTunes will get this one automatically, but for those of you who haven’t (ahem) I will share an .mov version of the movie for you to watch right here.
Now keep in mind that no cows were harmed in the making of this film. Junior was, because his feet went south on him while he was minding his own business standing on ice in the driveway.
Behold, the Cow Racing Safety Video
(I have no idea why this might appear twice in your browser. It is all controlled by Blogger, so blame them.)
I’m not sure if you guys still need me to post when there’s an updated DumpCast. I suppose I could set it up over on BlogRolling and ping it when it’s updated. Or maybe theres an RSS feed built in to the website (I use iWeb to do that one, I have no idea what’s built in. Is that lazy of me?)
Let’s see…in other news…I was really disappointed with my lunch today. I’m sorry, it had to be said. My dinner, however, was excellent. Thanks for cooking, Mr. Dump!
Do a search for “DumpCast” and you’ll find me over on iTunes. Or, you know, click this link. I know, any fool can get a podcast added to iTunes, but let’s pretend for a minute that it takes more effort than that.
I need to figure out another camera to use because the sound on the little digital camera stinks royally. I thought maybe I had my hand on the microphone after the first one, but I don’t think that’s the case.
If you want to buy me a digital camera, I’d like an HD camera that records to hard drive. Not asking for too much, am I? Okay, so you all need to subscribe over on iTunes so I will become fabulously rich and famous! Oh, wait, this is all free. Well, nevermind. At least this is fulfilling my dream of being a world re-knowned documentary filmmaker. Cause you know, that’s what these are, right? At least some of the time.