Posted in humor, Real Life

Breaking Down a Recipe

I was reading a humorous article about Barbie dolls (as one does) and linked to the author’s website. She provided some favorite recipes, which seems normal enough, until I started reading one. I hope she never ever writes a cook book.

My favorite parts:
– The small bowl of butter (I wanted to use my biggest bowl. Darn.) and the bowl of cheese. Cheese (from the bowl?) is mention in two different steps. What kind of cheese? She’s not saying. Figure it out yourself, like she did!
– An oven is listed as an ingredient. If you don’t have one, back away from the website.
– This recipe only calls for 2 green beans. Filling.
– Frying carrots in a “vessel”. Seems like a pan would be a good choice for frying, but she doesn’t want to be dictatorial. Pick a vessel, any vessel.
– Melting the [bowl of] cheese on the fried veggies should cause a nice solid mess. Good luck pouring it into the baking dish of undetermined size in a later step.
– The whole mess gets cooked in an oven “over medium flame.” I am calling her bluff. She doesn’t even own an oven.

Here’s a screen print of the full recipe. Do let me know how it turns out. I’d rather gnaw on dog treats.


Posted in coolness, Uncategorized

Weekend Accomplishments

I think I did okay for myself. I didn’t discover a cure for cuticles, but I did wash the kitchen floor and buy a new floor mop for the wood floors. I also made a really awesome chicken dish, signed up for a new stock photo website and uploaded 10 photos to see if I have what they’re looking for. I shopped for things online and didn’t buy all of them, because some of the things I don’t need yet.  I made a really awesome chicken dish for lunch – the kind of thing that a real cook might make. I didn’t even take a full-blown nap this weekend, even though I REALLY WANTED TO.

Oh, and I updated my website, which actually took many many hours of my weekend. Taa-daa. I was going to reward myself with a glass of wine but it’s too late and I’m tired and some joker made arrangements for tomorrow to be Monday. Last week for my group to work out of the Marlboro office before moving to the Smithfield RI office. I think it’s going to be REALLY weird in there this week, what with all the packing, etc.  I think I’m going to bring in lots of canned goods and make them move them all down to RI. Just because.

Posted in Uncategorized

Speedy Delivery Pizza

Over on Gizmodo there is a story about a pizza oven that you can plug into your car’s lighter. I think this is awesome on so many levels. I’m sure you will all agree with me when I explain.

1. Pizza rules. Everyone loves pizza. If you do not love pizza, I don’t think you and I can be friends any more. I’m sorry, but it’s just that our friendship would be based on a lie, and I can’t have that. So long, I’ll miss you.

2. Sometimes, driving makes you hungry. Or maybe it’s that driving is boring and I tend to like to eat when I’m bored, which may explain the closet full of circus tent clothing. But just think, no more will I grocery shop while hungry, because I can cook a pizza in between my house and the grocery store. Sure, I might have to take the long way to the store, or sit in the parking lot while it finishes cooking, but hey, pizza!

3. How many times have you been invited out on a picnic and thought “gee, I wish I could have pizza instead of cold cuts.” Well lookee here, you will be the belle of the ball with your car-based pizza oven!

4. Goodbye, stinky Pine Tree air fresheners, hello pepperoni-scented upholstery!

Seriously, do you really need any other excuses to run out and get one of these? I think not.

Posted in Uncategorized

First Weekend of Summer

This weather makes me want to nap. A lot. Had to get up early for a 9am appointment and ran two errands but now the rest of the day is free. Except for the need to get groceries, but who wants to do that. I’m sure I can make a meal out of items found around the house. I can pretend I’m on Iron Chef, or that show they used to have where you would hand a chef $10 worth of stuff you bought at the store and they would have to make a meal out of it. My $10 worth of food could be made up of canned goods. What can I make out of baked beans, canned yams and chicken noodle soup. Mmmmmm, that’s good eatin’!

Posted in Uncategorized

Where is My Macaroni Salad?

Okay, I didn’t lose macaroni salad, exactly, but I did create a whole post about macaroni salad, and when I went to view BDT, there was no mention of macaroni salad anywhere. Not even a whiff of it. So what, now I have to type it in again? That’s a lot of work just to dazzle you guys with nonsense. Let’s not even count the minutes spent pressing the spell check button and correcting all the errors.

I believe I started off by mentioning that Junior’s baseball team won their second game last night with a more reasonable 7-5 final score. Not that 28-4 wasn’t fun. Except it wasn’t, really. Last night’s game was really fun to watch because the teams were so evenly matched. Quite frankly, I was shocked that we won. Based on the first couple of innings, we didn’t, but we really pulled it together at the end.

So the macaroni part of the message was related to me bitching about the weather predicted for this weekend. I hate hot and humid (which should not be news to anyone here) and I said I would probably only leave the house to grill burgers and dogs. And then I asked you all to post your favorite/best/easiest macaroni (aka pasta) salad because I adore macaroni salad and I think it should be required any time you fire up the grill to have a giant bowl of pasta salad available.

I also requested recipes that were mayo based because I’m in search of the macaroni salad of my childhood, and while I “get” dumping a bottle of italian dressing on cooked macaroni, that’s not what I’m looking for. Even though that’s sort of how I’m kick starting the request:

1 pound cooked rotini
1 green pepper, diced
1-2 tablespoons of light mayo
1 bottle of Wishbone Russian dressing (MUST BE WISHBONE. It’s dark red in the bottle)

Mix up the rotini and pepper with the mayo to sort of coat the pasta. This will help the russian dressing stick. Stir in the bottle of Wishbone Russian Dressing. Cool in fridge. Re-stir before serving. This dish is even better after it sits. Even Mr. Dump likes this one.