The Big DumpTruck

Throwing Little Thought Pebbles at Your Windshield Since 1996

Tag: commercials

Something I Don’t Have

I keep hearing these radio commercials for a company where you can send “your unwanted gold jewelry” and they will pay you for it. So many, many things wrong with this. Where to begin?

Okay, first off, who has unwanted gold jewelry? Even the stuff I don’t love I will hang on to, because, well, it’s gold jewelry. Really, let’s just be honest and say the target audience is people who are very hard up for money and happen to have some that they can sell. Or worst case (and you know this is happening) some little crackhead is stealing from grandma’s jewelry box for drug money.

Now gold has value, and given the quality of it, you can bring it to many jewelers who will weigh the gold and tell you what it’s worth. Some of them will even buy it from you (maybe not for full value – I wouldn’t know, I haven’t been selling my jewelry). And you can go to a pawn shop for the same thing. In both of those cases, you are right there in front of someone making the transaction. At what point do you figure you’ll put three necklaces in an envelope, send it to the radio company, and they’ll pay you for 2 necklaces? They say that all shipments are insured, but how does that work? How can you prove that you sent three? Does the person at the UPS store have to sign something as a witness?

I’m sorry, but does anyone really think that sending something in the mail to the company name advertised on the radio isn’t going to be noticed by anyone handling the envelope? There are dishonest people everywhere. Anyone who has ever heard the commercial is going to know there is gold in the package. I’d say the chances of you getting ripped off (by any definition of the phrase) is pretty high.

So let’s solve that problem. If you have unwanted gold jewelry, you send it to me, and I’ll send you back an autographed photo of me and my dog. Because the autographed photo is priceless, you will definitely be making a good decision to unload all that “unwanted” jewelry in my direction. Oh, and if you have unwanted diamonds or sapphires, I will throw in a 2 minute phone call to your cell phone. I am so giving.

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For Your Viewing Pleasure

[This is a good test to see if my sister is paying attention.]

The other day we were at the new Best Buy in Leominster and I found a “bargain” video set that I bought to bring on our trip to the Cape with my sister’s family. The last time we went down, in 2005, I brought down two collections of movies – 13 hours of 1950s and 60s Monster movies and another set of 13 hours of Sci Fi movies from the same era. That’s some damned good entertainment. The boys became enamored of Gamera and some of the Sci Fi movies. One that comes to mind has the astronauts stepping outside of the spaceship with nothing to tether them to it, they just hover on the outside like they are standing on the ledge of a tall building.

This time I’m going to be bringing down 3 hours and 50 minutes of Classic Commercials. Oh ya, it’s going to be a hot time in the old Cape House in August!

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What Do They Use at Dunkies?

On the drive to work this morning (when else?) I heard a Cumberland Farms commercial for their coffee. You know, from that addict who, when her kids are bored, takes them to Cumbies for a “fountain drink”. Because nothing eases boredom more than your mom taking you to a convenience store for a sugar and caffeine-based beverage!

This morning she was telling us all that she stupidly thought the coffee at Cumbies couldn’t match what they sell at coffee shops, until she tried it. She stated that they use “imported beans”. Well doesn’t that sound classy! I have to say, I think that even Sanka is made with imported beans, but I could be wrong. Maybe farmers in Indiana have plowed under their corn and wheat to grow coffee. The only domestic coffee I’m aware of (and I’ll admit I’m no expert) is Kona, from Hawaii, and that stuff is high quality. Not that people think of Hawaii when they think of something being domestic, of course. Anyhoo, God Bless Cumberland Farms for importing coffee beans. It’s about time someone had the nerve to do so!

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