The Big DumpTruck

Throwing Little Thought Pebbles at Your Windshield Since 1996

Category: humor

Tools For Improving My Whole Life

I found a thing on Amazon (and put it on my wishlist!) that is the one thing that I need to make everything in my life fall into place. It will make me healthier, prettier, make men fall in love with me on sight. It will improve my singing voice, my ability to cook chicken, […]

Share

Smelling Nice for Jesus

I touched a product at Bed, Bath and Beyond and now my hand smells like the lining of the coat of the old lady sitting in front of you at church. You know, she wants to smell nice for Jesus. I don’t know that he can smell her, or anything else for that matter. If […]

Share

So You Want To Be a Superhero

Lesson 1 for future superheroes of America

Share

Things We Said at KFC

My kid and I stopped by KFC in town. They normally suck at a molecular level when you go inside, so we tried the drive-through. Here are some things actually said in the car during our adventure. How does “grilled” anything serve as a valid substitute for extra crispy?” How many legs and thighs do […]

Share

Peeing Like a REAL MAN

I love the people on my project team. I cannot express in words how much I love them all. Friday, 4 of us were stuck in a tiny conference room, and topics ranged from giant horrible spiders, how to properly poach an egg, farting, and whether ladies rooms are dirtier than men’s rooms. These are […]

Share

All Ellen, All the Time

Lifetime, Discovery Channel and for some reason, the TV Guide Channel, are in a rabid bidding war over who will get the rights to Ellen Sojka show.

Share

Response to Your Fan Letter

Hey there, Fan! It was a real thrill receiving your fan letter! As you can imagine, there are days when I get a lot of fan letters, and it is hard to write back to anyone personally because I have that Psychosomatic Carpel Tunnel Syndrome, which is aggravated by actions like responding personally to all […]

Share

Items From My Current To-Do List

For those who want to be me, here’s a current to-do list to copy into your own palm pilot or hipster PDA. Process 1700+ photos from 13: The Musical and upload them to maplebarnphoto.com for the nice parents of the nice children who entertained us this weekend Put away the suitcase from my January trip […]

Share

Everything is Balanced

I got a compliment about my hair last night. I was told it’s the best haircut I’ve had in 20 years (literally). So while that makes me happy about my current haircut, I can’t help but think I looked crappy for 20 years. And just because it’s the best haircut I’ve had in 20 years, […]

Share

Think Pink

I’m from Leominster MA. I’ve lived here almost all of my life – I was born one town away, but my permanent address for 94% of my life (I did the math, poorly, but you’ll have to trust me) has been here. And we are proud of two things around here; Johnny Appleseed and plastics. […]

Share