Happy chatter
strangers
I smile, pretend
I feel a part of things
though I do not
Your effort to draw me in
fails
and I’m more aware of our differences
I long to remove myself
from the awkwardness
but circumstances hold me hostage
Just another 20 minutes
Just another 10
Three hours of pacing before I can flee
free to return to the familiar
the safe places
where I don’t have to
pretend
Author: The Jody
Ho Ho Ho Hum
Dear Jody,
What the hell? You love Christmas. You love everything about it. You have a blood-lust for Christmas music. Your iPod currently has 800+ holiday songs on it. You love twinkly stuff, anything snowman-shaped, and literally ANYTHING that lights up. Christmas is all about that stuff. So what’s going on? Why are there no Department 56 Houses set up? Where is the Lego train that it took two people a million hours to assemble? Where are the damned decorations and the angel on the tree?
I’m going to give you 20 minutes to write another post that oozes holiday spirit. This funk you’re in? Cut it the hell out. You’re better than that. WAY better than that. The things you think are missing from your Christmas? You’re imagining all that. So get your head out of your ass and Christmas the hell out of your life!
Love,
Me
Being Thankful
It’s the time of year when people get all mushy on each other. I approve of this. I love being mushed on. Mushed about. Mushed At. Let’s just say, if you have nice things you want to say to me, you don’t need to wait for Thanksgiving. You can say them to me ANY DAY OF THE WEEK, ANY WEEK OF THE YEAR.
A million years ago, I learned a lesson from my friend Kim. She had this [new to me] habit of always telling her mother she loved her whenever they spoke on the phone. But not in a cursory way, it was really said from the heart, and looking back quite lovely coming from a child. Her mom had instilled in her the idea that you never know if the conversation you’re having with someone will be your last. Do not leave the conversation in anger or annoyance; if appropriate, always tell the person you love them.
I’ve tried to embrace that philosophy in my life, although it’s often difficult. You WANT to slam down the phone and say terrible things some times. You WANT to go to bed angry. But I know that if I were to never talk to someone again, I would feel horrible. Because I don’t hate the people I have allowed into my life. I love them. Minimally, for the people who are more in the periphery of my life (random Twitter followers, the girl who hands me my coffee at the DD in Townsend every day) or more prominent (co-workers, Facebook friends) I am at least thankful to have you in my life. I really am. I’ve written here before how much I love my project team. I really and truly do. I appreciate how much easier and enjoyable they make my life. I went out for drinks with a whole bunch of them yesterday, and I’d do it every day of the week. They really are friends.
And I have a new person in my life who has grown to mean so much to me that it’s hard for me to put it into words. I am so thankful for even being able to write that sentence. I feel like I’ve been given a huge gift, and I promise to be thankful for that gift, every day.
I’m glad Thanksgiving gives us a chance to remember to spread the mush. Everyone deserves to be mushed on, now and again. So thanks to all of you, for stopping by, leaving comments, and just doing all the things you do. You’re good people.
Some Day, My Moe Will Come
It’s quiet in here. We haven’t had power for 24 hours. I’m watching the stockpile of Duraflame dwindle, and I wonder what kind of joy I will find tomorrow morning. Will there be heat? I can only hope.
Parts of me are warm, though. The inside parts. The place where I keep the happy and the singing and the love.
So for now I won’t worry about the load of towels that were 5 minutes in the dryer when the power went off. We’ll listen to Stevan Pasero on the battery-operated iPod speakers and I’ll watch the fire, knowing out there, somewhere, someone is thinking of me.
If I Start Having GMail Issues On My iPhone
I’m writing this as a note to myself. If I ever have that issue where my iphone says my password is bad on my gmail account, I should try going to this link where I can do a captcha thingy or something something. Stupid.
https://www.google.com/accounts/UnlockCaptcha?
It doesn’t appear to have fixed the issue where the app I use to access Google Docs will let me view existing files. Stupid attempts to prevent me from ever finding true happiness.