The Big DumpTruck

Throwing Little Thought Pebbles at Your Windshield Since 1996

Tag: work

Thanks, Amazon

Periodically I like to check to see what Amazon thinks it should recommend to me. I am a frequent shopper, more than I should be for convenience sake. I cannot afford a personal assistant so I make do with an Internet connection and a combination of the USPS, FedEx and UPS. 

I will admit I purchased some unusual items in preparation for my cruise. Unusual in that I normally don’t have much of a need for waterproof items, but I did a month or so ago. I also bought some items we were recommended to bring on the trip to decorate our cabin door. You know, not my normal dog food, camera equipment and makeup remover purchases.

Let’s see how that tweaked Amaxon’s recommendations for this March day: 

  
Okay. Emoji stamps and a Mother Goose hat. Date night has never looked more exciting, has it boys?

Now that I think about it, putting poop emojis on things at work would be a nice stress reliever. Hey! Cafeteria at work! More 🍟🍺and 🍪 and less💩! 

Let’s scroll down a little to see if it gets normal.

  
Guitar strap. Interesting assumption, that after buying all those cello accessories I might need a guitar strap for it. Taken under advisement.

But the piece de resistance is the High Quality No Pocket Unisex Uniform Vest. You guys got that recommendation too, right? That has to be exactly what all the cool moms are wearing to the office these days. I am just assuming there are people out there placing ordering for both vitamins AND kicking purple work vests. Because nothing says dedication to your role as a cog in the machine than a spur-of-the-moment decision to purchase a purple uniform vest independent of your job’s normal dress code. 

I think pairing it with the hat will really show them my promotability! I did a quick search and yes, I can also order my own name tag. I shall have my name and “Power-Mad Demagogue” etched underneath. I can’t wait to put the whole outfit together!

Couch Life

The idea of a weeks-long medical leave to recover from my surgery made me giddy! Oh the things I would accomplish! I could write a novel! I would nap! I would take walks when I felt better! I would….

…Play solitaire and watch tv shows about serial killers and cruise ship employees that are allowed to pick up people while on duty. I would spent a lot of money shopping online. I would set up a table near the couch so I could simply not move for weeks.

My couch is starting to feel like a prison. I’m not looking forward to going back to 40 hours a week of stress and nonsense, but it will be nice to leave my living room.

Working From Home

I’m working from home today. Most of the year I work from home on Fridays because my son has an out-of-town rehearsal on Friday nights and it’s the only way to make that work. Now it’s just my normal schedule. I work in the office most other days unless I have an appointment of some kind. I’m hoping to have my floors replaced this summer so that will require me to be here to get estimates.

So instead of driving 45-60 minutes to my regular work location, or 60-70 minutes to the RI office, I had the pleasure of spending that extra hour at my house. During my normal commute time (somewhere around 7:10 to 8:10) I was been able to

  • weed my shoe bin(s) and switch winter for summer
  • send off my Roomba to do my bidding
  • replaced a lightbulb
  • fill the dishwasher, and
  • start a load of towels (I like to do towels when working from home because they are care-free. If I am in a meeting and can’t get them into the drier right away, it’s not a problem. )

 

I can wear less expensive clothes when I work from home, and I’ve used no gas, and caused zero wear and tear on my car. And I still wouldn’t be at work yet but here the laptop is fired up and I’m already reading emails and working on a document due later today.

Telecommuting on Fridays improves my work-life balance cause I can enjoy that much more of my Saturday because I won’t have to do any of the things that I did when I would have been sitting in the car getting annoyed at other people who simply do not know how to drive during standard commuting hours.  Next step: Write a self-help book called “How to Commute Like a Real Human Being So The Person Behind You Doesn’t Want to Run You Off the Road.” It will be huge.

Ten Years Later

June 10th is my 10th anniversary with my employer. Ten years, three different roles in 4 buildings at 3 locations.

I still vividly remember standing in my sister’s from yard and getting the initial contract job offer. I’d been unemployed for 18 months after the tech bubble crash of 2002 killed my job writing hardware documentation for NEC laptops. I’d never not had a job before, from the time I was 16. 18 months is a long time to be unemployed. I was separated (1st time) from my husband and had to file bankruptcy. I remember crying with relief and happiness in her front yard after I got off the phone. I wasn’t useless. Someone wanted me.

I’m not going to get political here, but I will say that hearing politicians blanket all unemployed people as leeches on society is enraging when you’ve lived through it. Walk a mile in my shoes, asshole.

And I know another market crash could put me back out on the streets. I don’t take my emolument for granted.

That being said, I reserve the right to joke about hating my job (I don’t) wishing every day was a holiday (I do). That’s called humor. It’s exaggeration meant to amuse. That’s what writers do, be it about significant others, kids, parents, strangers, etc.

So happy anniversary to me. Let’s try for 10 more!

Weekend Accomplishments

I think I did okay for myself. I didn’t discover a cure for cuticles, but I did wash the kitchen floor and buy a new floor mop for the wood floors. I also made a really awesome chicken dish, signed up for a new stock photo website and uploaded 10 photos to see if I have what they’re looking for. I shopped for things online and didn’t buy all of them, because some of the things I don’t need yet.  I made a really awesome chicken dish for lunch – the kind of thing that a real cook might make. I didn’t even take a full-blown nap this weekend, even though I REALLY WANTED TO.

Oh, and I updated my website, which actually took many many hours of my weekend. Taa-daa. I was going to reward myself with a glass of wine but it’s too late and I’m tired and some joker made arrangements for tomorrow to be Monday. Last week for my group to work out of the Marlboro office before moving to the Smithfield RI office. I think it’s going to be REALLY weird in there this week, what with all the packing, etc.  I think I’m going to bring in lots of canned goods and make them move them all down to RI. Just because.

Shot Time

I get a flu shot tomorrow, but not the piggy or the swan flu shot. This is just regular old, “nobody cares about me because I don’t have a cool name and make the papers” flu shot. I am just hoping to get through the day and maybe not have any side effects from the flu shot. Like, say, the flu.

I was in a room today with a woman who sounded like she had gargled with Cup ‘O Virus. Thanks SO MUCH for being such a dedicated employee, and for entering the little piece of heaven that was the windowless and airless computer lab I was housed in. We all appreciated those noises you were making with your sinuses and your throat.

So if I DO get sick, I’m going to assume it was because of her, and not because of the flu shot. Unless it would get me more time off to say it was from the shot, in which case it most certainly was.