I have some things I’m thankful for this year. Some things I’m not, but now is not the time for that. Talk to me next week for complaints.
My son, for finally learning where everything goes when he empties the dishwasher, and for being the one person who consistently makes me belly laugh. That sarcasm 101 class at court jester school really paid off. You are top-shelf, kid, which is, by the way, where the wine glasses go.
My iPhone, which serves as my connection to the universe, my way to shop, my alarm clock, my kitchen timer, my camera, nightlight and radio. I don’t know what I’d do without an automated way to crush candy.
My parents, for everything they do for me, whether I ask them to or not. I know I’m blessed beyond belief to have you both. But I also promised to not get mushy.
My spare kid, and the girls who formed a fan club fighting to replace him, for making me feel loved and appreciated and all-powerful. I do love each of you special snowflakes. If you are reading this, you are my favorite.
Last but not least, I am thankful for second dates, and boys patient enough to wait for you to come out of your silly fog. I am thankful I came to my senses before he gave up on me. And he’s better than a plate full of turkey (but not better than stuffing because let’s not get crazy, okay?)
I posted a link to the original St. Jody Day post back in 2009 (the first official St. Jody Day) on Facebook and Twitter. It is here. Go catch up, and then come back. I think in the 4 years since then, we have learned a few things and we should add more items to the list of ways to celebrate.
Therefore, on what would have been my 20th wedding anniversary if, say, I had remained married the last four years (oops) I declare an update to the St. Jody Day rules!
6. The wearing of the tiara. You don’t have a tiara? Well, there are malls all over the world. Most of them should have a tiara store. Look near the yacht store. 7. The plugging in of twinkle lights. Don’t have twinkle lights? And you call yourself my friend? I HOARD twinkle lights. But I’m not sharing. If you have a fake Christmas tree, put it up and turn it on. There is no excuse. 8. The faving and RTing of my work on Twitter. For goodness’ sake, people, why do I only have 425 followers? And why am I not more popular? On St. Jody Day, you’d better bust out the big guns and make me feel loved! 9. The slurping of mai tais and ice cream. My darling cousin Jacqui and her darling husband Ron helped me celebrate my first St. Jody Day by taking me to a chinese buffet, followed by ice cream at Kimball’s in Westford MA. Two mai tais during dinner guaranteed I would have to be carried to the window to order my ice cream. You may choose to limit yourself to one mai tai, but get an extra scoop on your cone.
Is that enough? Never, but I don’t want to overwhelm the newbies. I think this St. Jody Day will be legendary.
I have owned the bigdumptruck.com domain for 13+ years now. I use BigDumptruck as my user name on a lot of sites (including twitter and flickr). I also collect Department 56 Christmas buildings (I started with the Dickens Village, supplemented with a couple of New England Village houses but for the past 4 years or so I’ve become obsessed with the North Pole Series – the fun Santa’s Village buildings.
Last year I spotted a must-have: Dumpy’s Toy Trucks. It’s a dumptruck, tilted back! See the wheels and the cab and the hood?! It’s awesome, and was my choice for the house I could buy this year. I don’t think they’ll come out with one any time soon that I like as much (or is as appropriate for me).
Yes, 2009 sucked. A lot of people had very bad 2009s. I’m not here to talk about that, but I’ve had better. 2008 was pretty bad, but 2009… yuck with a rotten cherry on top.
I’m not sure how I feel going into 2010, other than that it feels like it’s too soon to be 2010. Where did 2004 go? Huh? Did we skip some days in 2006? I think maybe we did, because I swear, I was paying attention.
Anyhoo, I hope that like me, you stocked up on Bitch Bubbly and raw cookie dough. Settle in kids, we have us a new decade to welcome.
Sorry I forgot to wish you a Merry Christmas. It isn’t that I didn’t want to wish you a merry Christmas, it’s just that I did not get around to sending you that message. So instead, I’m going to say “Merry Monday Night, you should have some pizza.” I think that covers all of the important things I want for you. And while you are eating your pizza you should order yourself a t-shirt off the internet, and pay for it yourself, and write “from Jody” if there is a spot to send a message. Because I only wish the best for you.
Happy Thanksgiving everyone! I hope the Stuffing Fairy gives you the big smackdown this year, you all deserve it, each and every one of you. Yes, even you, lady who was driving 30 in a 40 this morning and causing me irreparable stress damage. Oh, I certainly do think it’s great that you didn’t have to go to work today! You’re so lucky! I know, taking your car for a stroll is a GRAND thing to do at 7:30 in the morning. Don’t mind me, I’ll just have my front bumper jammed up your tail pipe.
Anyway, my foot fell asleep, and now the rest of me is all jealous. I’m going to go tuck myself in. You stay beautiful, you hear?
I am sad to announce that I will not be able to decorate my house to the level that I would like to this holiday season. I would like to cover the house with so many lights that you can see it from space. Sure, the neighbors might not like it, but really, who can stay angry at twinkly lights? Nobody, that’s who!
I don’t own enough lights to accomplish my dream, nor do I have the manpower available to me to do it. I guess it will have to wait until after I become rich and famous. And have a lot more energy to do stuff like this.
I also pulled out the two shrubs that I normally put lights on every year. That seemed like a good idea until I realized I can’t put lights out on these shrubs any more because they aren’t there any more. Huh.
So last year, during the January “everything 75% off” sale at Target I bought a little fiber optic tree. Last week I tracked it down so we could see how tall it was. Not tall enough to use as our only tree, not by a long shot. But of course, now that it’s set up, I think I’ll leave it, just so I have a little something to make me happy. And here it is:
I didn’t get you a present. I got you a card but I couldn’t find it this morning. I asked my son to make one for you because everyone loves a card made by a child but he started drawing robots and Pokemon and eventually it looked nothing like a birthday card with all the eraser shavings.
So I don’t have a card or a present or cake, because I threw out all the cake mixes a couple of weeks ago. Did you know they have a date stamped on the bottom and when they hit about 2 years past the date on the bottom of the box you are really probably not supposed to make them. I think it has something to do with not wanting to get sick and die from eating elderly cake mix. Or something.
In your honor, I did wash out the inside of my rubbish barrel today. Oh, and I put more windshield washer fluid in the car. As you can see, it’s been a very busy morning for me. Happy birthday, I hope you have as awesome a day as I’m having!
P.S. I don’t really like having your birthday on a Saturday. Can we try to avoid this in the future? Thanks.
Some very good friends of mine declared today to be Saint Jody Day. (Back when I was still married, it was my wedding anniversary. This was a way to celebrate the day without focusing on not being married any more. Perfect!) Who am I to argue? I thought I should pass along info about the holiday in case you too want to celebrate. It doesn’t have to be a big flashy SJD celebration, mind you, but there are a few traditions which I am starting and should be followed by all celebrants.
1. The eating of the crispy bacon. This year, SJD falls on a Friday, so it is bacon day. But henceforth, every St. Jody’s Day shall be baconified. 2. The listening of 80s music. Oh yes. Every Karma Chameleon will Wang Chung tonight. 3. The wearing of the green pants. This is a toughie. This will weed out the wannabes. And yes, olive counts as green. 4. The accepting of offerings from the masses. You know, if there is a mass and it wants to offer something, I will accept it. 5. The writing with the purple pen. St. Jody only uses two types of mass-produced pen, both available at area retailers. Either the Pilot Precise V5, or the Pilot Easytouch (Harder to find in purple – I, however, have one.)
When I dropped Junior off at his “before school” care program, a little kid, maybe in the first grade, ran up to him.
“How come you aren’t wearing a hat like mine?” The hat in question was a green plastic leprechaun hat covered with green glitter. It was truly a thing of beauty, probably the nicest green plastic leprechaun hat you can buy at a party store. My son just stared at the boy.
“Where is your hat? And where is your shirt like mine?” Junior was wearing a green shirt, but it did not say “Kiss me I’m Irish” with a fuzzy shamrock in the middle.
“Ya, where is your hat?” I asked my son in an accusatory tone, in support of the short child in front of us.
Junior just looked at me.
“You should be wearing a hat.” The small boy smiled at me.
“I don’t have a hat like that,” Junior explained to him.
“You should totally get one.” I told him as the small boy and I nodded conspiratorially. “It’s a really awesome hat.”