Category: Uncategorized

Apparently the PHP server at my hosting company exploded. Or imploded. Or is taking a nap. Anyhoo, my site is still out there, but it can’t show PHP files so I’m trying to move things over to .htm files in the meantime. I suppose I could change permanently, but I’d have to figure out what parts of my page have PHP.

So if you’re reading this, cool. If not, I hope you’ll remember that I do exist!

Ahhh, it’s apparently cuttin limbs off trees day here in the neighborhood. Of course we won’t be using a chainsaw to do our chores unless someone gets wildly out of control mowing the lawn.

So I’m feeling little to no motivation to do yard work, but the soil and seeds are bought, so I can’t just leave them outt there, can I?

No. I can’t. Hey, maybe I’ll do before and after photos so you can shriek in horror and say to your children “THIS is what happens when you watch too much tv.”

Ahhhhh! The horror! See, I’m hourly, and no pay for no play. Well, no work. And I didn’t work last week so the nerve of them!

I hate being short a 40 hour check. It’s like a monkey on my back, man, I’m jonesin’ for some dough.

Maybe if I hadn’t bought all those containers of sunscreen, I could treat myself to a Pepsi Icee at Target. I filled the car today – 50 blinkin’ dollars! And you don’t even get those nice young men in the suits and bowties checking your oil or tire pressure. Damn TV Land for giving me a false vision of the petroleum retail sales industry! Goober doesn’t fill my tank for 2 bucks, I do all the work for half a C-note! And what about the days when you could collect a set of glasses by getting fillups? When did that stop being cool? I could use some glasses…

To Hector,
Thanks for your kind offer, but I already have a diploma. I earned it the hard way – but putting up with other teenagers for the worst 4 years of my life. And those were back in the rough-and-tumble days when they actually had a little section of the courtyard set aside for a smoking area. It boggles the mind these days, doesn’t it? Oh, and there were only two pay phones available to all 1200 or so students attending at that time (I think I had 400 kids in my graduating class, so I’m ball-parking. I learned how to do that in high school). And we didn’t even have a soda machine so they didn’t need to pass a rule that it would only contain diet soda. Of course, back then that would have meant Tab, Diet 7-Up and Weight Watcher’s Diet Chocolate Soda, I suppose.

Dear Listerine F. Wheresoever,
Good God, did your parents hate you? I can’t believe you didn’t change your name legally once you were of age. Seriously, I’m finding it hard to take your offer seriously. Well, that and the fact that I can’t read what appears to be Russian. Although it looks really cool – I didn’t know my email could handle those characters.

Dear Jeffrey Messer,
I don’t know if you noticed, but the email address says the note came from Dalton Castillo but you claim your name is Jeffrey Messer. Are you using a friend’s computer? So anyway, I’m not exactly sure what it is you’re trying to tell me. First you say “in bladderwort it’s aspect on pearl” but later you say “try schoolhouse it armco the befallen.” A little clarification would be good.

Dear Emilia,
Holy cow, you sent your email from a bigdumptruck.com address, but I don’t even know you! That’s amazing! But to get to your note, I will say I am a little concerned. I quote “I am ready to kill myself and eat my dog, if medicine prices here [link] are bad.” Oh my goodness, someone get the smelling salts, I feel a faint coming on! Please, kill yourself if you must, but don’t eat your dog! I am sure that the prices at that link are, in fact, good. I just don’t really need any today. I’ll keep you and your dog in my prayers.

Have a nice day,

Jody

My lawn isn’t just your typical spring mess. Huge portions of it are dead or dying. Something nasty happened over the winter, and we have to figure out our next step. We are not yard-working people. We don’t do well standing in the hot sun with rakes and shovels. We are not skilled when it comes to landscaping. I fear that there is no hope that we can get something green happening out there. So when should we throw in the towel and just replace the lawn with something else? Cement or brick come to mind.

Post-vacation, it’s going to take us a few weeks to get back on even footing financially. I keep forgetting that I’m not going to get a paycheck Friday (because I didn’t work last week). I hate when that happens. So it’s not like I can just dial up a landscaper to do it all for us. But I think that’s what we’re going to have to do. My across the street neighbor’s nephew has done landscaping for her, so I’m going to ask her what he’ll do and maybe get a price. I don’t know…is there a landscaper out there who will do all the work and let us just pay a little up front at the rest when they’re done?