Posted in humor, video

Mortified: Angst Written

Ask anyone who wrote a journal (or letters) when they were a pre-teen or a teenager and they will tell you it was deep and meaningful and captured the deep and important moments of one’s life. Okay, so fast forward and read some of those journal entries and cringe, baby. Wait, you didn’t write one? Well you have to go share the love at Mortified: Angst Written.

This site is a multi-media journal karaoke for the ages. Real people (some celebs, some not) read from their original journals. The real words. The real feelings. It is as funny as you might imagine.

I doubled over with laughter watching this month’s featured video. Real Live Actors perform a script written back when the author was 15. Kevin McDonald’s part made me weep with laughter (I love his work, but the lines he was given were the real star here.)

So that’s my fun link for the weekend. And don’t even tell me that it doesn’t make you want to go look for your old notebooks and journals!

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Posted in humor, lists, writing

Today’s Book Titles

Here is today’s list. You can’t have the first one, that one is mine.

The Adventures of Keychain and Neil
40 Ways to Prepare Cold Cereal
The Rat in the Hat
Helmet Hair: Spending Too Much Time Playing Halo
Even More Ways to Prepare Cold Cereal

p.s. I think I successfully removed the snippet of code that was automatically adding links to key words in the blog to Amazon products. Some of the links were too odd. So from now on, if there’s a link to an Amazon Product in an entry, I added it there myself.

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Posted in writing

What’s that Smell?

I am odd. Or maybe not. Or maybe I’m odd for reasons entirely unrelated to what I am writing about today. I’ll leave that discussion for others to have.

As you all know, I’m a writer. I write. I don’t claim to be a Writer (capital W) like some heavily paid novelist. But from age 24 to about age 41, I was a professional technical writer. Got paid to show up every day and put words into a computer. People all over the world read those words – some of them, to not be hurt or killed on the job. Others, to figure out how to get started with their new laptop computers. It’s not glamorous work, but it pays well.

I’ve also written freelance stuff for a newspaper that no longer exists, and I consider myself some kind of humorist, at least at times, with this 11+ year old website. It isn’t a paying gig, but I like it. (Don’t you think I’d be writing more often if it were paying? I do.)

So with that background in mind, I can tell you that over the years, I have purchased probably every kind of notebook ever made. I’m kind of an addict. And the ones I like the best are the ones with thin-ish paper that makes a rustling kind of noise after you’ve written on it. Not exactly like the old air mail paper (does anyone but me remember that? It was super-thin so that it wouldn’t weigh down the envelope and cost more to mail) but not far off. I like thin paper.

So I got a new notebook out of the supply closet at work when I started a new project (because the notebook I’d bought at Staples was really nice, except for the thick paper). I love it. Perfect paper thickness. The ink from my fountain pen doesn’t bleed all over the place.

It smells like it came from my grandmother’s barn. (She didn’t own the barn, she rented an apartment in a multi-family house that happened to have a big (HUGE) barn behind it.) The house no longer exists as it did when she lived there, and the barn is long gone. But when I was about 10 I went in there with older boy cousins I had never met before (because they lived in Mississippi and had come up for my grandfather’s funeral) because you cannot keep a teenage boy out of a giant old mysterious barn. We found some glorious old stuff – in one workroom the calendar on the wall was literally from the 1950s. It was as if the owner had turned off the lights one night and had just never gone back in. To be honest, I’m surprised none of us fell through a floor or needed a tetanus shot after that experience. Knowing me, I probably spent the entire time saying “We shouldn’t be in here! This is dangerous!” whether it was or not.

Anyway, the one thing I still remember from that day (other than the funeral) was the smell. An old abandoned barn can really get quite a stink up. God knows anyone with a dust, mold or mildew allergy would have had to be hospitalized.

My new notebook with the perfect paper smells like it was stored in that barn. I’m so incredibly torn – I want to keep using it, but it stinks! I guess I’ll just keep using it until I can’t stand it any more. Or until I notice people wrinkling their noses when I walk into a meeting. Darn you, notebook supply company! Why did you do this to me?

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Posted in Uncategorized

Okay, Show of Hands

How many of you completely missed yesterday’s change to The White Rhino Preservation Society News? Huh? Three of you? And nobody said anything? I give and I give and I give, and what do I get? Everyone is too busy clicking “I feel lucky” on Google Calendar.

I should just start talking about rhinos all the time.

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Posted in humor

No Hot Water

Hellish morning! First I don’t want to wake up but the stupid birds (I hate them with a white hot fire that consumes my soul) are back. I guess I need to figure out how to borrow a shotgun again. Oh, and then? No hot water.

And after all that, I go down stairs and the entire first floor is missing. I have no idea if the dog buried it in the back yard or what.

I hate April Fool’s Day.

🙂

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