Author: The Jody

J-La sez:

First of all, a shout out to my girl Emily Dickinson for the subject line. That what it feels like out here, watching all the world gather for a blogging conference, bloggercon, and knowing that a) I’ve been doing this since 1996, even if it wasn’t called blogging back then

b) Not only am I not considered A-list, I think I might be D-list

c) The people who make up the meat of the great Bloggers couldn’t afford to attend the conference if you offered them a 50% discount. Hell, a 75% discount.

Hey, I would have liked to meet Adam Curry – I’m friends with his sister. I would have told him to take back some maple syrup when he went home, because she really likes it and they don’t sell it in Europe (not like here, anyway).

I would have liked to just BE there, even if I have nothing Big and Important to say. But that’s right out, not unless I start making a LOT of money doing this whole web thing. Or if I get to be pretty and popular and the quarterback asks me to the prom. But I’m 7, almost 8 years into this web site and I think I’ve made about $450 total in that time, mostly from you guys clicking on my Amazon links before you buy stuff over there. (Thanks again, kids!) Wow, $450! That offsets my costs by, well, let’s just say that it doesn’t even keep me online a whole year. So no, unless someone comps me a seat at a conference (maybe because I’ll hand out “Hello My Blog’s Name Is” badges) I guess I’ll just be watching from my living room.

My step-kids were up for the weekend, and the 11 year old and I went to Sears Saturday to use my $5/off coupon (good only on the 4th). We somehow ended up over in the jewelry section looking at all the “costume” jewelry, and we decided we needed to each buy the biggest, gaudiest diamond-y ring we could find. Let me tell you, cubic zirconia rocks. My gigantic sparkler, with 14k gold electroplated setting looks real. It’s a blue-ish round diamond (gotta be like 3 carets of CZs) with a pear-shaped and two small round CZs on each side. Like, celeb-sized looking ring. For ten dollars! My God, who needs real diamonds!?

So then when we got home I started to refer to myself as J-La, which annoyed my step-son enough for him to mention that I was talking about myself in the third person.

But that’s what J-La does, people. I wore my bling-bling (or is it blang-blang if it’s fake?) to work today, although I think I might take it off if I have to go to a meeting. I mean, I don’t want anyone to think J-La is being overpaid.

I’m pretty sure if you were in the Northern Hemisphere you could hear me.

Jesus loves the Boston Red Sox; Trot Nixon told us so.

Why yes, I did stay up and watch EVERY SECOND of the game last night. That was certainly a game where you scratch your head and say “What the hell was THAT?” My one comment for the A’s is this: Didn’t anyone ever tell you boys to always always touch home plate? I mean, who stops running between third and home? I’ll be the first to say that Bill Mueller obstructed him. But I learned back in Lassie League when I was 12 that you finish running and tag the base, no matter what. Is that not a rule in major league baseball? They can bitch all they want, as I said to Mr. Dump as it was happening, if he’d actually run home and scored (which he probably would have given the horrible throw to Varitek) this would all be moot. But he stopped running and didn’t give the umpires the option of giving him the run.

And Byrnes, you big stupid baby. Hope you enjoyed shoving Varitek. He sure enjoyed tagging you out for not touching home.

Can’t wait until 1 o’clock. I can’t believe we have another game schedule 13.5 hours after the last one ended. Amazing. And hey, I’m a realist, I don’t know that we’ll win. But at least they didn’t sweep us.

A special report by Jody’s Brain

It’s pink in here. And warm. It’s cozy in Jody’s brain. Look, she’s thinking about getting out of bed and taking a shower. Okay, let’s jolt her awake. We’ll make her think that she has an early meeting that she can’t miss, even though she doesn’t. That usually gets her up.

Ahhh, shower time! It sounds like a lovely rainstorm in here. Let’s give her something to think about while she’s waiting. I love doing this. We’ll give her stuff that makes no sense. Check out THIS train of thought!

1. That new shaping/slip undergarment I bought yesterday is too tight to be comfortable. Maybe I don’t need shaping.

2. They had one that gave you an hourglass figure. That must be twice as uncomfortable. At least it was made of spandex or something like that.

3. In high school B.H. (or her mom) had something similar that you were supposed to wear around your waist to make you sweat off weight. It was made of rubber. How uncomfortable to spend all day with a tight piece of rubber around your middle.

4. I wonder why nobody on XYZ mailing list ever responded when I said that in high school I got stuck playing a boy in the dance scene of West Side Story. I had to wear B.H.’s rubber thing to flatten my chest. It was fairly humiliating. I can’t remember if I was a shark or a jet.

5. Was there a dance scene? I can’t remember West Side Story that well right now. There must have been some kind of school dance. God, those actors were playing high school kids and they already had crow’s feet.

6. Which of the two guys in Twin Peaks played Tony? Did Dr. Jacoby play Riff?

7. “…Always the population growing, and the babies crying. I like the island Manhattan…”

HA! By the time she gets to 7, she won’t remember why on earth she’s got the song “I Like to Be in America” in her head. I love when I do that!