Month: March 2004

I left this blog entry title the same as an MSN search results page title. The page in question, is on the topic of clown toilet paper holders. I don’t have any, never did, and can safely say I never will. But someone out there is apparently looking for one, and for whatever reason, my site is a hit for this search phrase. Sir or Madame, might I suggest something in a more tasteful brass or ceramic? I’m just saying…

So I like the thought that a clown toilet paper holder is more useful everyday. I’m not sure what would make it more useful. It’s going to pretty much be a toilet paper holder, right? Holds toilet paper? No other purpose? (Hey, this ought to push me right to the top of the MSN search results in a week or so.)

I’ll be frank – I’m okay with just resting the roll right on the window sill. I know, I’m tacky and crass. But the windowsill is perfectly functional in that area. I mean, I have toilet paper holders in both bathrooms, but I’m not above using some that isn’t on the holder.

How did this start again? Cripes, it must be Friday. And a rainy one at that. Junior wants to give the new kites a try tomorrow but it’s not going to be kite weather, unless the definition of kite weather changed to include rain.

The Big DumpTruck — More Useful Everyday

If you can’t afford to leave the waitress a tip, don’t take your three children (I think they were all yours, none of them looked like you) out to a restaurant to eat. Period. I know it was only Friendlies, but I’m guessing that you could rustle up Kraft Macaroni and Cheese and French Fries for a bit less money than you paid for your youngest daughter’s meal.

When you jumped up out of the booth with your food in your hand and your kids had to figure out how to carry all their stuff, I asked Mr. Dump if he thought you were leaving or just moving to another table, because your movements seemed a bit unusual. Three minutes later the waitress came to clear and stated to the hostess, who was seating someone else, “I got stiffed again.”

I hope to God she only meant the tip. If you bolted on the whole bill, you are doing worse than stealing, you are teaching three children that it’s an okay thing to do. It’s not like the waitress makes a fortune, it’s Friendlies for goodness sake.

I am not going to comment at all about the makeup of your family, my thoughts about your situation, or what have you. None of my business, and I’m sure there are plenty of similar families who have decent values. But I’d better never see you eating with your kids in another restaurant I’m in, or I *will* say something to you. Loudly.

And I gave the waitress a $5 tip on a $20 check to make up some of the difference, because she works too hard for her $2 an hour, and it’s not her fault you are a total loser.

Angrily,

The person in the next booth

Start at the dessert table first. There will always be casserole left, but someone might grab the last mini eclair before you, if you don’t grab it first.

==Mini Commercial Mode==

For those of you who originally got to my site from my articles on about.com, Mary Shomon’s new book, Living Well With Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and Fibromyalgia was released yesterday. If you are wondering if your symptoms point to CFS or Fibromyalgia, there’s a warning sign list at her newest website, Living Well With CFS and Fibromyalgia. Go buy the book. I’ll wait here until you get back.

==Commercial Off==

If anyone out there owns a Sony MiniDV camcorder, could you drop me a line about how easy/hard it was to get the video off the MiniDV onto your hard drive for editing? I’m interested in the “additional costs”, things like cables, software, and, as it appears, a digital i.Link port (IEEE 1394) for the computer.

I have a new piece of art in my cubicle…it’s a drawing of a frog from famous artiste Junior.

My cubicle art rulz.

p.s. If you don’t hear from me for a while, it’s because the Girl Scout Cookies have arrived.