Posted in humor

Accident or Murder?

It is with heavy heart that Phantom Puppy LaFerriere announces the death and removal to a landfill of Baby, his beloved green dinosaur toy. Given to him by his human cousins for Christmas 2010, Baby was carried all over the house, one of the few toys to receive this level of love and attention. As ugly as the toy was, we had grown very attached to it simply because the dog loved it as much as he did.

Yesterday, Phantom’s mom made the horrifying misstep of mentioning how long the dinosaur had lasted, and within 10 minutes, the head was ripped open and fiberfill was flying.

We snuck it away from him and he actually spent 30 minutes HUNTING for the damned dino, and then actually seemed depressed about not finding it. Wouldn’t play fetch. We feel awful. Then again, we’re not the one who RIPPED IT’S HEAD OPEN WITH OUR SHARP DOG TEETH!

Due to Monday trash pickup, there are no calling hours.

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The two boys


The two boys, originally uploaded by Big DumpTruck.

The names of these two have not be finalized yet. We have tried a couple of names out on them, and one kind of stuck, but that left the other nameless. The larger of the two (the one on the left) was referred to as “Big Papi” for most of yesterday afternoon. The thing is, if his brother gets bigger, will the name need to change?

To go with Big Papi we tried out other names of Red Sox players (current roster) and I was pushing for Ellsbury because I thought that would be a cute gerbil name, but I don’t think anyone else agreed. I obviously would have wanted Mike Lowell, but I don’t want another pet named Mike (RIP Mike the Fish). Maybe we could call him Pawsox…that would be a pretty cute name for a little guy with paws, don’t you think?

I do want to give a shout out to the breeder who sold us these two. She’s amazing…she had us up to her house so we could learn more about gerbils, she checked out Suzy (who is doing SO much better now that we know how to handle her properly, and oh my GOD, she and Junior are now just best pals. I’m so jealous!) and we got to hold and play with boys and girls, and while I went up there to get the two girls she had on her website, I fell in love with the two boys because they were trying to get my attention to take them out of the tank. (The one on the left…I think because he saw me as his ticket out. He’s much more prone to trying to run off my shoulder than his brother.)

So anyway, if you are thinking about getting a little pet, I cannot recommend Donna highly enough, nor can I saw enough great things about how fun gerbils have turned out to be. Izzy was a wonderful little pet, but she slept all day and didn’t really do much of anything. These guys are a riot!

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No Izzy Update

We’re all pretty resigned to the fact that she’s gone, even though Beth mentioned below that she found a hamster a week after it was lost. I’ve received offline feedback that once they get out, you don’t find them until you tear down walls to remodel the bathroom. I have decided to not mention this tidbit to Junior, as he’s still sad about the whole thing. That reminds me, note to self: don’t leave a photo of Izzy up on your computer screen if your son walks up behind you and notices it.

Junior has decided that he would like to replace Izzy with gerbils. From everything I’ve read, they are an excellent choice, don’t need to be cleaned as often (Izzy was a poop and pee machine, I tell you. But she always peed in the same place. We referred to that corner as “the bathroom”.) and they aren’t nocturnal. SOLD. Junior needs pets he can interact with while he’s awake, and I need pets that won’t run on a wheel all night long. Good Lord, her fat ass would make the wheel thump on the floor of the tank and there were many nights someone would have to get up and just pull the damned thing out of the tank.

But she was cute, so that made up for it.

But Beth, based on your comment, we’ll be going through the hamper in great detail this evening.

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