The Big DumpTruck

Throwing Little Thought Pebbles at Your Windshield Since 1996

Being Thankful

It’s the time of year when people get all mushy on each other. I approve of this. I love being mushed on. Mushed about. Mushed At. Let’s just say, if you have nice things you want to say to me, you don’t need to wait for Thanksgiving. You can say them to me ANY DAY OF THE WEEK, ANY WEEK OF THE YEAR.

A million years ago, I learned a lesson from my friend Kim. She had this [new to me] habit of always telling her mother she loved her whenever they spoke on the phone. But not in a cursory way, it was really said from the heart, and looking back quite lovely coming from a child. Her mom had instilled in her the idea that you never know if the conversation you’re having with someone will be your last. Do not leave the conversation in anger or annoyance; if appropriate, always tell the person you love them.

I’ve tried to embrace that philosophy in my life, although it’s often difficult. You WANT to slam down the phone and say terrible things some time. You WANT to go to bed angry. But I know that if I were to never talk to them again, I would feel horrible. Because I don’t hate the people I have allowed into my life. I love them. Minimally, for the people who are more in the periphery of my life (random Twitter followers, the girl who hands me my coffee at the DD in Townsend every day) or more prominent (co-workers, Facebook friends) I am at least thankful to have them in my life. And I really am. I’ve written here before how much I love my project team. I really and truly do. I appreciate how much easier and enjoyable they make my life. I went out for drinks with a whole bunch of them yesterday, and I’d do it every day of the week. They really are friends.

And I have a new person in my life who has grown to mean so much to me that it’s hard for me to put it into words. I am so thankful for even being able to write that sentence. I feel like I’ve been given a huge gift, and I promise to be thankful for that gift, every day.

I’m glad Thanksgiving gives us a chance to remember to spread the mush. Everyone deserves to be mushed on, now and again. So thanks to all of you, for stopping by, leaving comments, and just doing all the things you do. You’re good people.

1 Comment by on November 22, 2011
filed in Open Letters, stuff

Some Day, My Moe Will Come

It’s quiet in here. We haven’t had power for 24 hours. I’m watching the stockpile of Duraflame dwindle, and I wonder what kind of joy I will find tomorrow morning. Will there be heat? I can only hope.

Parts of me are warm, though. The inside parts. The place where I keep the happy and the singing and the love.

So for now I won’t worry about the load of towels that were 5 minutes in the dryer when the power went off. We’ll listen to Stevan Pasero on the battery-operated iPod speakers and I’ll watch the fire, knowing out there, somewhere, someone is thinking of me.

2 Comments by on October 30, 2011
filed in stuff

If I Start Having GMail Issues On My iPhone

I’m writing this as a note to myself. If I ever have that issue where my iphone says my password is bad on my gmail account, I should try going to this link where I can do a captcha thingy or something something.  Stupid.

https://www.google.com/accounts/UnlockCaptcha?

It doesn’t appear to have fixed the issue where the app I use to access Google Docs will let me view existing files. Stupid attempts to prevent me from ever finding true happiness.

No Comments by on September 27, 2011
filed in complaint department

Things We Said at KFC

My kid and I stopped by KFC in town. They normally suck at a molecular level when you go inside, so we tried the drive-through.

Here are some things actually said in the car during our adventure.

  • How does “grilled” anything serve as a valid substitute for extra crispy?”
  • How many legs and thighs do you need to order to equal the meat in a 2-piece breast meal?
  • Oh my God, the woman working the drive thru window is walking across the parking lot!
  • We’re going to be sitting here the rest of our lives. “So, what’s it like, living in a KFC parking lot?”
  • She’s taking so long they’re going to run out of legs. At that point, I’m going to kill her.
  • You could stab her in the neck with a soldering iron. And then turn it on.

    • Best worst wait ever.

4 Comments by on September 23, 2011
filed in humor, parenting

Peeing Like a REAL MAN

I love the people on my project team. I cannot express in words how much I love them all. Friday, 4 of us were stuck in a tiny conference room, and topics ranged from giant horrible spiders, how to properly poach an egg, farting, and whether ladies rooms are dirtier than men’s rooms. These are pretty typical topics, by the way. The men’s room topic morphed into a discussion about how great it would be if women could stand up to pee (it would be) and my project sponsor mentioned he’d heard a story on the radio about a product that helps women pee standing up. Of course, that became the most important thing ever.

I let one co-worker get so far as typing “Female Urination” into his work laptop’s Google search before we pointed out that pressing Enter would cause every security person in the building to come bursting through the door. I pulled up search on my iPhone – the single greatest reason to own a smartphone on the planet is to be able to do searches without invoking the “red corporate security screen of death”.

We found the product in question – the “Go Girl“. At the time, Amazon had it for $4. How could I NOT buy one for $4? Plus Amazon Prime’s $3.99 overnight shipping meant I’d have it today. Oh, yes. Yes indeed.

UPS dropped off the package before I was even out of bed this morning. My room is over the back door, and I heard my friendly UPS driver yell out “UPS!” and I knew it was my lucky day. Sent the boy to fetch the package and ripped into it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

That looks vaguely, um.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And here is the booty: a plastic storage bag (for after you use it), two squares of toilet paper (obviously, not enough) and taa-daa, the Go Girl.

 

I don’t have photos of me using it, but I did use it, right before I took a shower. It was weird. It worked fine; no, uh, spillage. It would be awkward to have to do something with it immediately after use (“excuse me while I put this urine-covered silicone funnel in my purse.”) The real test will be trying to use it while I’m dressed. I’m tempted to go out in the woods with it, to simulate a real-world scenario. It would probably be good to have friends giving me beer and encouraging me – you can’t get more real-world than that.

1 Comment by on September 17, 2011
filed in coolness, humor, photos, stuff
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