Posted in Shopping, stuff

Illuminati Bug Catcher

I was looking to buy a bug vacuum and this one had great reviews. PERFECT!

Bug catcher or travel cube? Click to view on Amazon

Bug catcher or travel cube? (Click to view on Amazon)

I’m glad I decided to read these amazing reviews, which were for multiple other products, but definitely not the bug vacuum. So either a bug vacuum can be used as packing cubes, or you pack the bugs in the cubes after sucking them up. I think I want to buy the other products now because I definitely want

  • A Guardians of the Galaxy poster delivered in a real cardboard box, not a cheap plastic tube. Wait, the bug vacuum has a plastic tube. The poster could be stored in that part?
  • Magic stones to ward off the Illuminati. Or support them. The reviews are unclear.
  • Travel cubes that will easily fit my underwear. I mean, the bug vacuum is a tube you could store things in, right?

I think the Illuminati should consider being paid pitchmen for important products like pickle forks, clip-on fans, steering wheel covers, or everyone’s favorite Illuminati branded tank tops and flip flops. 

In case Amazon straightens out the reviews, here’s an example.

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Posted in humor, Real Life, Shopping, stuff

Wiping

After the ice storm Saturday I was very aggressive about cleaning off my car. Very aggressive. Sunday, after all the stores had closed, Tom and Michael found a piece of the plastic part of the wiper blade frozen to the hood of my car. The holiday meant I couldn’t replace it and would have to bag out on my only plans for Christmas Day. Boo.

Yesterday I finally was able to get it replaced by the girl working at Auto Zone after I announced to her “I would like whatever is your very best wiper blade” like some kind of blade-needing royalty. (She put it on my car so fast wrote her into my will.)

It was so nice to leave the house! Buy floor cleaner! Have a guy explain how I can install my own replacement floor on top of my current one, which seems like more work than just using floor cleaner!

There are a few things in life that are worth paying any price to have, and both are for wiping: soft 2-ply toilet paper, and wiper blades that can handle New England winter road muck. Splurge and wipe well.

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Posted in stuff

Thanksgiving Sangria

I was asked to bring sangria for Thanksgiving. I have never made it, and don’t drink it. So I looked up recipes and picked and chose from the various recipes.

My sister was concerned because she thought Sangria was just wine and fruit with no extra rum added. I saw no recipes like that.

This stuff is hella potent straight and if you need to function at all, either cut the hell out of it with the ginger ale (or seltzer) or maybe avoid altogether.

The wine I used was not found in the merlot section of my local wine store. It was 2 aisles over with the box wines, pre-made sangria and other Boone’s Farm-level product. The bottle I bought was $6 for a magnum, so give you an idea of what we’re dealing with. If you use a regular wine, I saw burgundy suggested.

Jody’s Sangria

1 bottle (750ml) blackberry merlot

1 cup (give or take) Licor 43*

1 cup OJ

Sliced fruit**

Sugar to taste

Ginger ale

Mix up everything but the ginger ale. Add fruit an hour or so before serving. Keep it cold, and add ginger ale to each glass as you pour – 70/30ish was about the ratio I used. (It may have been 60/40.)

*Licor 43 is sweet and has botanicals (tastes of vanilla) so I used that instead of white rum and didn’t add sugar. You can reduce the amount of 43 for a less-strong Sangria.

**I soaked 1 each sliced plum, orange, lemon, lime and jarred cherries in spiced rum overnight, but I think that wasn’t needed. I’d probably not do lemon or lime next time, and soak in regular rum. (Apples and pears apparently soak up the alcohol more than cherries and plums.)

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