I wrote a post a while back and it was sitting in draft mode. I may publish it with a previous date. I just might do that, don’t you try to stop me!
I have really ignored my site and that’s a shame because next year is the 20th anniversary of bigdumptruck.com and maybe I’ll have to fire things up and offer prizes to people who actually read my posts and can answer questions. Or people who send me money or diamonds. They could get a prize as well. Amazon has a whole thing now where you can offer items as prizes, which makes me laugh when I’m looking at something particularly expensive. I think I get seven visitors a day (probably because I update so infrequently, what with Twitter taking up the ten minutes a day I used to devote to writing here.
If I offer a prize, it will likely be something incredibly useless. I think those are the best prizes of all, don’t you?
I was going to start by quoting the Seals and Crofts song “Hummingbird” which is the only song I can think of about hummingbirds. But really, that one is so pretty, how many do we need?
I spent way too much money on a plant that is supposed to attract hummingbirds yesterday. I think they are amazing, and my goal is to sit on my deck, like the guy on the Titanic who didn’t notice the icebergs, and take photos of the birds when they arrive. If they arrive.
I don’t think I’ve ever seen a hummingbird in my neighborhood. Maybe some of the neighbors have, as they may have feeders. But me, nothing. I’m not even convinced this plant will do any good. How will they know it’s here? How will they find it? They are probably all 10 miles away in someone’s wildflower garden. Why would they even think to swing by my house to see if I have FINALLY gotten some good flowers?
If any of you personally know a hummingbird, could you send it my way? On a day when I’m here and might see them would be even better.
I have given myself the task of writing a “Collection” of short stories while I am home recovering from surgery. I don’t know how much writing I will get done because in general I am a horribly lazy person. Maybe I will write a story about a person who had surgery who is trying to write a collection of short stories. Write what you know, right?
The good news is that when I announced I was going to try to do this, I said that I would write crappy short stories, so everyone will have super low expectations. Those are always the best kind of expectations!
Here’s a sample for you.
All those novels she had read about the romance of the starving artist did not cover the very real possibility of dying from the world’s worst caffeine headache by the end of the week. Her tombstone would read “Here Lies Annie Hatfield, dead of a broken heart when her boyfriend, Morning Breakfast Blend, left her in her time of need.”