The Big DumpTruck

Throwing Little Thought Pebbles at Your Windshield Since 1996

Month: May, 2009

My Eye Twitch Prevents Me From Looking Fabulous

I bought a scarf at Target. I mean, Cole Haan. Right, that’s what I meant. So anyway, I like my Ta…Cole Hahn scarf because it makes me look all artsy and stuff. I think if you saw me you would say “there goes a gal who has song in her heart and half a book on her laptop.” You might be wrong on both counts, but I won’t correct you. You’re allowed to exaggerate about me.

But then, you look a little closer. Okay, and a little closer. Dude, personal space! Okay, and that’s when you notice my right eye is twitching. I fear you will see this, and immediately think of Herbert Lom as Chief Inspector Dreyfus in the Peter Sellers Pink Panther movies. You know what I mean. If you don’t, go order one on Netflix and come back here when you’re done watching it. I’ll wait.

I think the eye twitch is keeping me from full fabulousness. I do plan to retire to the boudoir early this evening (the boy woke me up at 6:45 ON A SATURDAY!!! because he was having some stomach issues. “Mummy needs her beauty sleep, precious!”) Once there, I will try harness the power of my awesomeness for good, not evil.

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Merchandise To Be For Sale

I had a huge brainstorm today. I was trying to write tweets that would make it onto this new website http://tweetingtoohard.com and I came up with one that I loved so much I thought it would look really good on things for sale. So I put it up on the website as a tagline, threw a copyright line down on the bottom of the page, and now I’ll get to work designing the product. I think This is going to be the title of the book I’m writing. So consider this my claim. Timestamped (checks watch, 4:53pm) today, May 21st.

Because you are all fans of my fabulous unwritten book, I hope you will buy all the swag that I will have for sale shortly.

In the meantime, don’t tell anyone about my new fabulous title in case someone writes faster than I do.

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Candyland

My friend Pia used to get candy sent to her from her family in Norway. And if I was a good girl, she would share it with me. I grew to love one candy in particular, Nidar Laban Seigmenn. These are little people-shaped gummy candies, the best gummy candy I’ve ever had. They rule. And they aren’t readily available in the U.S.

So when we were at Disney last month I found them. FOUND THEM! in Norway, of course. I bought 4 packages, which wasn’t nearly enough but I didn’t have my pack mule with me, so 4 was enough.

Yesterday we finished bag 3. I have one left. One measly bag. I have to find a supplier, stat. Damn you, Norway, and your delicious but hard to find candy!!!!

[Edit: Wow, iPhone spellcheck really made a good one. No, I’ve never had gummy candida. Yeesh. Let me just fix that.]

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Saint Jody Day

Some very good friends of mine declared today to be Saint Jody Day. (Back when I was still married, it was my wedding anniversary. This was a way to celebrate the day without focusing on not being married any more. Perfect!) Who am I to argue? I thought I should pass along info about the holiday in case you too want to celebrate. It doesn’t have to be a big flashy SJD celebration, mind you, but there are a few traditions which I am starting and should be followed by all celebrants.

1. The eating of the crispy bacon. This year, SJD falls on a Friday, so it is bacon day. But henceforth, every St. Jody’s Day shall be baconified.
2. The listening of 80s music. Oh yes. Every Karma Chameleon will Wang Chung tonight.
3. The wearing of the green pants. This is a toughie. This will weed out the wannabes. And yes, olive counts as green.
4. The accepting of offerings from the masses. You know, if there is a mass and it wants to offer something, I will accept it.
5. The writing with the purple pen. St. Jody only uses two types of mass-produced pen, both available at area retailers. Either the Pilot Precise V5, or the Pilot Easytouch (Harder to find in purple – I, however, have one.)

Go forth and have fun!

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The Shoe Thing

I have an issue with my currently available shoe selection. I put on navy blue pants this morning and came to the awful conclusion that I own no shoes to wear with navy blue pants.

Someone has to fix that situation. I assume that someone is me. Unless one of you is a shoe designer looking for someone to beta test a new design. Wait, do designers beta test things? It can’t be called that, right? I’m such a geek.

I also need a pair of tan sandals for work. I have some but they are too casual. Need something a tad fancier, and yet, way comfy. I think I could be trying to find something that meets those requirements until I retire.

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Thanks, Dom DeLuise

Our family loved Dom DeLuise. I remember watching Dom’s movies with my family when I was young – especially the Burt and Dom movies. We loved watching Dom crack up in the outtakes. I remember when Mr. Dump and I spent a weekend in Manchester, Vermont, and the desk clerk at our hotel told us that a local pizza place was “Dom DeLuise’s favorite”. Guess where I HAD to eat dinner that night? A little dive place we never would have found. I can’t tell you if I liked the food or not, but I was just happy to be able to say that I ate dinner at his favorite place, whether it was actually true or not (he apparently had a home in Dorset, 6 miles or so from Manchester so he must have had at least ONE favorite place in the area).

I was looking at his filmography today, and realized I’ve seen the majority of the stuff he’s done, including Charlie Horse Music Pizza, the show Shari Lewis was doing when she passed in 1999. He’s acted in some of my favorite movies. Ignoring the biggies, I’m a big fan of Johnny Dangerously and Wholly Moses. I just love his work.

So thanks, Mr. DeLuise, for making me laugh for, well, my whole life. You made the world a funnier place.

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Wonder Woman Lives Here

And she doesn’t even have a cape! Wait, does Wonder Woman wear a cape? (“No capes, dahling“)

I entered the danger zone this morning. Lowes. Oh man oh man, it’s so unfair that they have so much stuff that I need. Er, want. I went to get some Scott’s Step 2 for the lawn. I missed Step 1 for the 10th year in a row. Of course, that’s the stuff that I really need. If I kill all the crabgrass, though, the only thing left would be the dandelions, and Step 2 is supposed to kill those. I’d be living on a dirt farm.

Yesterday The Boy, my wonderful awesome child, mowed the front lawn for the first time. I love 11! 11 rules! I get someone to mow my lawn for me for the next 7 or so years! Woot! We only put the Step 2 on the front because the dog has the run of the back yard so we don’t treat it with anything. Other than dog waste, that is.

I mowed half of the back yard and The Boy finished it. I also bought a stand for the tabletop grill I got a couple of weeks ago. I’d say I put it together but it was more work to get the packing tape off the box.

Now I’m going to start some tomato seeds in a little “greenhouse” starter kit I bought. I may be starting it all too late, but hey, better late than never. Usually it’s never. I’m going to sit and watch them until the tomatoes are done. I’ll see you in a couple of months.

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