The Big DumpTruck

Saw an article on FoxNews.com (I know, I know) that totally enlightened me on how awful my life must be.

BRIDGEPORT, Conn. — A judge has brushed off a Connecticut woman’s claim that
L’Oreal Inc. ruined her social life when she accidentally dyed her hair brunette with one of its products.
Charlotte Feeney of Stratford said she can never return to her natural blond hue, a shock that left her so traumatized she needed anti-depressants.
She says she suffered headaches and anxiety, missed the attention that blonds receive and had to stay home and wear hats most of the time.
A Superior Court judge dismissed Feeney’s 2005 lawsuit Monday, saying she never proved her allegation that L’Oreal put brown hair dye in a box labeled as blond. The company also had disputed the claim. Feeney’s attorney, David Laudano, declined to
comment and she could not be reached after the judge’s decision.

I had no idea that my life sucks because I am a natural brunette. I seriously had no idea. I mean, I pretended I was blond that one day, but it wasn’t like I was making a major life change.

So I’m just going to start staying home and wear hates “most of the time.” Because obviously, having brown hair is a horrible, horrible affliction. I did not know this, but any headaches I get from now on, I’m going to just know it’s from brunettitis.

By the way, someone will have to explain to me how a woman who was buying hair dye and using it is concerned that she cannot ever get back to her “natural blond hue”. How natural was her hue if it came from a box? Besides, I’m pretty sure a halfway decent salon could resolve that issue.

Okay, off to go hat shopping!