The Big DumpTruck – Page 51 – Throwing Little Thought Pebbles at Your Windshield Since 1996

Open Letter Time

Posted on February 5, 2009 by The Jody

Dear Bolton Post Office,
What the heck is the deal? I stopped by to buy stamps on my way to work this morning. You see, I work all day, so if I need stamps I have to buy them on off hours. I decided to stop at your location because, hey, Post Office! They sell stamps! I know my local post-office which is completely inconvenient to me (On-street parking? Are you serious?) has a stamp machine. That’s all I needed. I even had ones and quarters in my pocket. I was ready.
But you don’t have a stamp machine. You have a bunch of P.O. Boxes and a slot for mailing letters. And a window that isn’t open hours when I am driving by on my way to and from work.
You stink. So I still don’t have stamps and now a bill I have to mail is late. I hope you are happy.

Late Postscript: I wandered around the office trying to find a stamp and a wonderful awesome co-worker told me she had just bought stamps this morning at the Bolton Post Office. She waited until they were open. You know where their stamp machine is? Inside the locked area (near the window). What the hell is the point of that?

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Oh, That Would Be My Luck

Posted on February 3, 2009February 25, 2010 by The Jody

You know, this is why I don’t go skydiving. You can ask anyone, my sister, my husband…whenever we do something, I’m the one who gets the screwy equipment, or has the weird things happen. So if we all went skydiving, I would be the one with the dead instructor strapped to me.

I feel horrible for both people – especially the poor guy who died at 49(!) but really, that is just the kind of thing that keeps me from jumping out of a plane. Well, that and the fact that I would crap my pants if I had to jump out of a perfectly good plane.

In other airplane news, I finally got around to watching the National Geographic Channel special on Air Force One, and I now officially want to be President of the United States cause I really want to travel on that plane. It is sweeeeeeeeet! And the food looks pretty good too. Sure, there would be the pesky “leader of the free world” job responsibility crap, but it’s got beds! And a nice office for me! And they would give me a jacket with my name embroidered on it!

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You Know What This Week Needs?

Posted on January 27, 2009February 24, 2010 by The Jody

It needs some snow. I don’t think there is enough out there. I am looking at the frozen blocks of snow still stuck to my driveway, and I think “there has to be a way to make them more annoying than they already are. What is the best way to go about that? And then I remembered how annoying it is to try to remove snow when there are still strips of ice in the driveway (because most of my driveway is in the shade most of the year). Snow! Snow would be perfect. I just wish there was a way for me to get some snow…

What?

Tonight? Into tomorrow?

Now we’re talkin!

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Canine Vomitous

Posted on January 23, 2009February 24, 2010 by The Jody

Something’s gotten into the dog. Maybe literally. I’m very very excited about this development, because now I’m going to be a day behind on stuff at work, plus I won’t get to do anything fun this weekend. My birthday weekend. He was on antibiotics but they ended Tuesday, so this is a little too far for it to be a direct result of that. I was actually thinking how great it was that he didn‘t get sick from the meds, as it was a stated side effect.

He is sitting on a towel on the other end of the couch. He isn’t looking at me. He looks so sad. Maybe he would have looked like that on a normal day. I know he’s mad at me because I had to take his food and water bowls away from him, per the vet. They want nothing going in for 12 hours. He just stood next to where the bowls are supposed to be and looked at me. And looked at me. I feel like such a creep, but doctor’s orders and all that.

I was hoping whatever it was worked its way out at the doggie daycare before I picked him up, but he yakked twice on the way out to the car. Maybe THAT was the last time. I hope. Please God, I have no desire to clean up this type of mess. ugh.

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Wow, I Wonder What My Stats Will Look Like

Posted on January 21, 2009February 24, 2010 by The Jody

Some hackers messed up my hosting company pretty good. As a result of their shenanigans, Google removed me from their listings. So now, even if you search for this site, you will not see any results from it. I have applied for faster reinstatement (they suspend the site for 30 days but if you fix the issue they’ll put you back faster).

I don’t have exact numbers in front of me on how much of my traffic comes from Google, but I know it’s quite a bit. My numbers dropped into the toilet anyway, what with my sporadic updating schedule, Blogrolling biting the wax tadpole (oh, sure, once a month they tell us they’re almost ready to relaunch. You know, I once paid for their gold account service. I’m just saying) it’s all melted away. I think the problem is that I don’t pay you guys enough to stop by on a more regular basis. I’ll have to work out the compensation table “friends of the dump”. I’m sure it will be enough for you to quit your jobs. Or something. What if I promise you an original work of art? Or some of my dryer lint? We’ll work it out.