The Big DumpTruck

Okay, if nobody else will say it, I will. I’m a great mom. And you know why that is? I’ll tell you. It’s because I’m not raising the next generation American Idol contestant. Let me explain.

When we watch the first few episodes of American Idol, we all think the same thing: on what planet do these people live that they think they have any talent at all?

I’ll tell you what planet – planet Mom Thinks You Are Perfect.

Well my kid and I do not live on that planet. On the way to Little League tryouts last night, he was telling me what a great baseball player he is. And I pointed out to him that he actually isn’t a great baseball player. He can hit the ball [more on that later] but his throwing and catching are horrible. And sometimes he runs like a spaz (I didn’t use that term, by the way. Is that term no longer allowed in polite company? Spaz. What a great word.).

So he dialed back and said that he’s pretty good, he’s good at hitting, and I agreed with him. Now see, that’s a kid who knows he’s not perfect and therefore has some work to do to get better. If I told him he was great, he’d ask why he had to go to practice because “what’s the point?” Sort of like these American Idol people. You know the ones I mean.

As for the tryout, he did about what I expected. The funny thing happened after they were done and I went to put my name down with the coordinator so that they can run a check on me to allow me out on the field. When I gave my last name and he found it on the sheet, he said “Did you teach him to hit like that?” So apparently he made an impression with his batting. Maybe they’ll forgive the lousy fielding skills. Or he can grow up to be a DH. I dub thee….Little Papi!

And so it begins…a dozen or so weeks where my life revolves around Little League. Screw work, I have to get my kid to the field at an hour I’m usually driving home, because obviously somebody forgot to tell the people who run these things that not all families have a parent sitting at home just waiting to take the kids to practice and games. Many of us work – and not only that, we work out of town. I can hear the gasps.

For older kids, it’s less of a problem because you can just drop them off, or have someone else do it. But these are little kids and you just can’t do that yet. Too many wierdos out there, first of all. And they are still in the “Look at me, mom!” stage, where every single little thing they do requires affirmation that they are wonderful and making you proud. I’m not screwing up MY kid’s head by not being there for him. It’s bad enough that he has to go to aftercare because I’m not home waiting for the bus to drop him off at the end of the day. Rant for another day.

I hear we’ll have two games during the week and a practice on Saturday. Thank God, because I was worried that this would only screw up my week nights. Sheesh. All I can say is that they’d better set a schedule for the same nights and times every week. If they want my kid to actually show up, it would be good to be consistent. If the game nights change every week, I’m not going to be able to get out of work for some of them. Or I’ll forget. Or I’ll just say “to heck with you, maybe I’d like to do laundry for a change.”

Why do 7 year olds need 3 days a week for baseball, by the way?

And so it begins…a dozen or so weeks where my life revolves around Little League. Screw work, I have to get my kid to the field at an hour I’m usually driving home, because obviously somebody forgot to tell the people who run these things that not all families have a parent sitting at home just waiting to take the kids to practice and games. Many of us work – and not only that, we work out of town. I can hear the gasps.

For older kids, it’s less of a problem because you can just drop them off, or have someone else do it. But these are little kids and you just can’t do that yet. Too many wierdos out there, first of all. And they are still in the “Look at me, mom!” stage, where every single little thing they do requires affirmation that they are wonderful and making you proud. I’m not screwing up MY kid’s head by not being there for him. It’s bad enough that he has to go to aftercare because I’m not home waiting for the bus to drop him off at the end of the day. Rant for another day.

I hear we’ll have two games during the week and a practice on Saturday. Thank God, because I was worried that this would only screw up my week nights. Sheesh. All I can say is that they’d better set a schedule for the same nights and times every week. If they want my kid to actually show up, it would be good to be consistent. If the game nights change every week, I’m not going to be able to get out of work for some of them. Or I’ll forget. Or I’ll just say “to heck with you, maybe I’d like to do laundry for a change.”

Why do 7 year olds need 3 days a week for baseball, by the way?

Update: MLB.com has it streaming – I don’t know if there’s a copy saved on my hard drive (probably not) but I did get to see it. I don’t know if you have to pay to have that access – I gave Mr. Dump a membership to Red Sox Nation so we can see it. It’s only ten bucks to join, for the record.

No offense to those who didn’t have somewhere to be at 2:15pm yesterday, but would it kill someone out there in TVland to replay, start to finish, the ceremonies from Fenway yesterday? I don’t want to see highlights, I want the whole thing, so the emotion can build, and I can celebrate along with everyone else.

If that’s not possible, did anyone out there remember to tape or Tivo it? I’ll pay shipping for a copy (unless someone points out that NESN is going to show it at 4:30am on Sunday or something.)

Any of you looking to unload Sox tickets for games you can’t make, I’m your gal. I want to take Junior to a game (his first!) but Fenway is pretty much sold out of anything non-bleachery.

I made a vow several years ago that I would pay the premium to never sit in the bleachers again. Of course, it would help to be able to find something other than standing room-only.