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Another Plus for the Bay State

I was just reading a news story about more houses in California sliding down the sides of mountains. I have to tell you, I feel for those people. I can’t imagine (and wish never to, knock wood) know what it’s like to watch your home be destroyed like that. To lose everything you’ve worked for. To have your view screwed up. This is just one more reason I’m glad I live on this side of the Continental Divide. My house isn’t sliding anywhere any time soon. Additionally, we’re much smarter and prettier than people living in other states. And we don’t have as much ear hair.

So what is it with California’s sliding house problem? I know, it’s probably been discussed to death in the mainstream media. It’s all about mudslides. Lots of rain turns into lots of mud and the mud has nothing to hold it up, so down it comes, taking everything else with it. Can we all assume that if you’re going to build a house in California, no matter how much money you have, you should avoid building on the side of a hill? Maybe you can buy the land on the hill and just put a Winnebego on the property. Then when the rains come, you can just drive your house somewhere else.

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Short Week

Thank God it’s already Tuesday, that’s all I have to say.

Interesting thing about this waterlogged month: Even on days that were relatively nice this weekend, it rained at least once. I’m wondering how many days DIDN’T have at least a little sprinkle this May. I know this morning I was rained on walking from the parking garage to work.

As for our weekend movie making – we kind of got distracted with other things and I didn’t get a chance to work on my own movie. Actually, when Junior got up Sunday morning he told Mr. Dump, “If I ever make a movie, I’m going to call it The Attack of the People Named Frank Johnson” so that is the name of the movie that I am working on. Currently, we have several Frank Johnsons lined up, all of them located one toy box or another.

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Movie Mogul

Now that Oliver Stone has been arrested for DUI, it’s up to the Big DumpTruck to find some way to fill your movie live. Presenting some of the very first movies made by our family.

This first entry was created entirely by my step-son Jon, who obviously has quite a future ahead of him.

Kung Foo Slug (a 1.5meg QuickTime movie)

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Magic Bullet

Joan: Don’t fear, this isn’t the magic bullet from the bedside table! Welcome, Magic Bullet blender system!

Magic Bullet: Hello!

Joan: Do you get that a lot?

Magic Bullet: The confusion? Yes, actually. It’s quite embarrassing, actually. You know, if you don’t spend a lot of time browsing in those kinds of stores, well, you might not even know that a magic bullet is a vibrator.

Joan: {giggles} I guess maybe if you weren’t shaped like one…

Magic Bullet: I get that a lot. Trust me, I’m not.

Joan: But could I, you know, if I didn’t have the other kind?

Magic Bullet: No. No, you couldn’t. So don’t even try. It may not say it in the instruction manual, but let’s all assume that it does. Do not use me for purposes other than preparing food.

Joan: Well, can’t fault a girl for asking.

Magic Bullet: Well, I can. Because obviously I’m a blender system. I am the smoothie master.

Joan: I always like a smoothie after … you know …

Magic Bullet: I don’t think I needed to know that about you.

Joan: Well, now you do. My favorite is a little bit of canned peaches and canned pineapple (with the juice) mixed with ice cubes and a spoonful or two of vanilla yogurt. Hmmmm. Just thinking about it is making me…

Magic Bullet: Salsa. Or hummus. Nothing like hummus to make you feel less horny, eh?

Joan: No, hummus is very sexy too. Salsa not so much, but hummus is. Mmmmmmmm!

Magic Bullet: You know, I told them I didn’t want to do interviews with third-string reporters. I *told* them that. Do they listed to me? NoooOOooooo.

Joan: Wait, you think I’m third-string? I have to say, I am more than a little insulted.

Magic Bullet: I’m sorry you’re insulted, but I didn’t come here to talk about how sexy hummus is. Or salsa. Or pesto.

Joan: Pesto, not so much.

Magic Bullet: Can we just end this now? I’ve had enough.

Joan: Ladies and gentleman, the Magic Bullet is available everywhere they sell fine infomercial products!

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