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Lite Brite Bombs

Over on Universal Hub, I’m following the threads on the “Bomb Hoax” (which wasn’t, it was an ad campaign, fyi). I posted all my thoughts there in one of the comments, so I’ll only excerpt here. Oh, and the title of the post was my utterly original reference in my comment. I was so proud of that one! And then I did some web-hoping and discovered someone else called them that too. Damn.

So anyway, I’m glad that the police reacted, I really am. My concern is the overreaction, and the complete post-event meltdown of our leaders. Yes, all bomb-like objects need to be treated as if they are bombs. But these things were blinking and waving at people for three weeks, and apparently, they didn’t appear to be bombs to the thousands of people who passed them every day.

The two young men who got thrown in jail for putting them up…that could be any of us. What if you were working on a robot kit (they sell them) and you put your project in your backpack and a wire or two was sticking out. And you put your bag down for a minute at the bus stop. You’d be sitting in jail with those other two guys for “scaring the public” with your fake bomb.

The line that got me was from a blogger who says he’s a homeland security consultant (?). He says:

“you can bet that now any sleeper cells in the US have tucked this
particular one away: what kind of fun thing can we use to disguise a bomb as
next time? …”

Um, dude? You don’t think they were already doing that? I mean, seriously, you don’t think they were trying to figure out how do disguise things as bombs BEFORE now? It’s so typical of the government these days. Blame the people. If a bomb shows up in the shape of a yo-yo, that’s going to be Ted Turner’s fault. We are to blame for terrorists doing terrorist things, just because we refuse to build bunkers to hide in for the rest of our lives.

Keep threatening to arrest people for taking pictures of birds. Don’t let people take magazines on flights. Because really, if we can’t live in a 100% completely paranoid state, we aren’t trying hard enough.

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Ahh, Screw It

Stupid Fenway tickets. Stupid waiting rooms and sold out games. Stupid not ever being able to take Junior to a Red Sox game yet, and he’s nine.

So you know what? We picked up 3 tickets to a Sox/Orioles game IN Baltimore for September. Got onto their site, picked the game (9/8)…bing bang boom, done. So that’s going to be a mini-vacation for us. I am going to find a fancy-pants hotel with a fantastic view, and I will get to enjoy a game in one of the parks I have ALWAYS wanted to visit. I am actually far more excited about this than I would be if I picked up 3 tickets for a home game.

If the step-kids are reading, sorry we didn’t get 5 tickets. I’ll have to owe you one…

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Posted in writing

Best Worst Novel Ever

Just in time for Jody Day, I got a package in the mail. I could not rip the package open fast enough, I tell you. Inside was the most glorious site ever. EVER. My novel, in book form. Oh my Lord in heaven, I just held it and giggled, because it was a real, live book. A crappy book, let’s be clear, but I was holding a perfectly wonderful trade paperback version of my Nano Novel. The Candy Pooping Moose, with my name right there on the cover.

I wish I’d taken more time doing the PDF because I was missing a title page and some other stuff, but as I mentioned before, I uploaded it to Lulu.com the day before the deadline for the free copy. So I stupidly left out the title page, and other important bookly stuff. But that doesn’t matter much because I’m not selling copies, only one exists and it’s mine.

I started to read parts of it and found that in places, it is tremendously amusing. Maybe I’m not completely talentless. So now I’m thinking I’ll attempt to clean it up some, maybe more than some, and make it available to you, my adoring public. I mean, what the hell, right? But it won’t be any time soon, as out of the 50,000 words of the novel, only 30,000 of them are actually usable, and as I mentioned before, it doesn’t have an ending.

Keep poking me with a stick and I’ll see what I can do.

Jody, author

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One More Day at *Mumble*

Okay, I should be honest. You can search the archives and determine my age. I’ll be 42 on Saturday. I know that means some of you will stop reading my site because you thought I was some hot chick or something. I’m not. Mentally, sure, but that’s about it. I’m a 42 year old mom. Well, I will be. Today, I’m just a 41 year old mom. Same for tomorrow. After that, 42.

I’m trying to not think about it. I don’t want to get old. So let’s agree, between you and me, that I’m only 25.

Thanks, you’re the best.

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I’m Going to Possess the Worst Novel In Print!

I got the note that my Nano Novel, The Candy Pooping Moose, met the qualifications for free printing at lulu.com. (The qualifications were that it was a Nanowrimo novel, that you “won”, and that you submit the novel before Jan 16th.)

I wasn’t going to do it because the novel stinks, and I haven’t edited it or finished it, but then I got to thinking…”You know, a free copy of the icky novel might be a fun thing to have.” So I uploaded a .pdf of the danged thing. I look at this as a way of checking the quality of the stuff Lulu does…if it is professional enough, I may try to pull together a real book (probably non-fiction, though, as the whole finishing a novel thing seems to be beyond me) and publish it properly. As in, make sure it has an isbn number, a title page, actual chapters, etc. Maybe have someone proofread it first.

Of course, I waited until the deadline to submit my .pdf so I just used stock cover art available at lulu.com. I would have liked to use a picture of a moose, but I didn’t want to have to go through the trouble of finding one to buy at a site like istockphoto.com, and then lay out the cover myself and upload it. If I had to do all that, I would have never gotten a free copy of my book.

For the record, it looks like the cost to buy extra copies is less than $8. So if any of you have a little something you want to see professionally printed and bound, you may want to consider lulu.*

*Note: I have not done thorough research on whether or not writing groups/websites have evaluated them to determine whether or not they are fair to writers. I wasn’t as worried with something like a draft of a Nano novel as I would be with a “real” book that I planned to try to sell to the universe. Nothing jumped out at me (you know, like those sites where without you reading a ton of fine print, never upfront tell you they “own” the content the minute you upload it.) So use at your own discretion.

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