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But I can’t remember what it was. It was probably really funny. You would have liked it, I know that deep in my heart. But I’m blanking on what it was, so I can only tell you that I was going to tell you something.

I’m sorry.

To make it up to you, tomorrow I will take a photo of my tomato plant and post it. That will make you feel better, right? I’ve got about 8 tomatoes on the sucker, and I’m just waiting for one of them to give me some kind of hint that they will eventually turn red. Sheesh. I want a fresh tomato already!

Normally, I Like LL Bean. However, yesterday a new catelog arrived. And it’s the fall catelog. Fall. FALL.

Yes, thank you.

So I like fall as much as the next guy, but I’m getting too old to wish for time to fly by. I haven’t even been able to appropriately enjoy this summer, why would I want to wish it was already fall?

I thumbed through a couple of pages, but when I saw hats and gloves I was forced to fling the horrid thing across the room. I cannot and will not go glove shopping in July. Just no.

Dear Burger King Customers:

Have you been losing sleep over the fact that when you eat at BK you were limited to a sandwich that only had 2 meat patties on it? I mean really, ordering two doubles was a problem?

Okay, so does the new 4 patty sandwich take care of that part of your deeply dissatisfied life?

More important, do people look at you in a horrified manor when you order one? I think I’d have to wear a disguise, and make sure I was in a town I’d never visited before.

Yeesh.

Okay, here’s your “Dumb Things Jody Did” report for the week ending July 14.

The list is short, as you can well imagine. But that’s okay, because what it lacks in quantity it makes up for in quality.

Let me preface this by saying I completely blame my employer, but I’ll explain after I provide you with the dumb thing.

I walked into the men’s room by accident.

Okay, so I’ve been working for this company for 3 years, in two different buildings. In 90% of the bathrooms I’ve seen/used, the men’s room is on the left, ladies on the right. That’s just the standard.

This bathroom, however, is reversed. For no rhyme or reason, either. The entrance is exactly the same as the others (the doors face each other, so they aren’t flush (sic) with the rest of the wall. There is nothing outwardly different about this set of bathrooms, other than that they are swapped.

Luckily, nobody was using a urinal (someone was in a stall) and the hall was empty so I wasn’t spotting running out. But gah, what horror goes through you when you realize what you’ve done!

Okay, so after a week, I’ve just about had it with the limitations on phase 1 of South Beach. I am being very good, but I’m just not a salad person even though I have to have one or more a day. So there’s that.

So I was sitting here, as the All Star Game is starting, and I said to Mr. Dump, “You know what I need right now? A low-carb Dorito.” So I turned to the Google gods and looked it up and found some REALLY AWESOME low carb websites. (There were/are Low Carb Doritos, but apparently they’ve been discontinued, possibly because they tasted like crap.) There are a lot of discontinued low carb products now that Atkins and South Beach aren’t as popular as they were a couple of years ago. As in companies have gone under.

As long as I can find a low carb ketchup, I’ll be happy.