Uncategorized – Page 56 – The Big DumpTruck

Used Bidet? No Thanks

Posted on July 27, 2007February 25, 2010 by The Jody

Saw a “news” article this morning that something is planning to sell Jerry Garcia’s stereo speakers and bidet.

His bidet.

The thing he used to clean his arse with.

Okay, no offense, but why on earth would someone want to own such a thing? I know that there are people out there who are gigantic fans, still, of his, but really, do you need his bidet? What about his toilet, he probably used that a lot more than the bidet. Or was there a urinal cake somewhere that he peed on?

It looks like the proceeds from this sale will be going to charity, so I’ll cut them a little slack, but please, people, if any of you want to buy my used appliances, contact me offline so we don’t have to deal with the embarrassment of holding a public auction.

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Bathroom Ninjas

Posted on July 24, 2007 by The Jody

There are two Ninjas in my bathroom. They are both sort of orange and clear and they are sitting on the counter. If I didn’t have a 9-year-old son, I would worry. “How did I get ninjas in my bathroom? Are they here to harm me? Why are they on the counter? Did I already brush my teeth?”

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Is It Wednesday Yet?

Posted on July 23, 2007February 24, 2010 by The Jody

Sheesh, this is taking forever! I’ll be good, though.

Hey, that book I talk about below? The author really really hates Disney. Like, REALLY hates them. So now I’m sort of on the fence about recommending the book. Okay, I’m still enjoying the book but I think Mr. Anti-Disney (“Too bad that inferno is now burning up the whole Sunshine State” – said in reference to the spark that ignited Disney’s theme park flame.)

So the point I’d like to make to the author is that if it weren’t for the major attractions in Orlando, most of these roadside oddities would suffer from a large lack of visitors. Instead, people like me planning a trip down to see the mouse will buy his book to look for other places to visit while I’m down there. Do you really think a family from Massachusetts would plan an entire trip to see the Indian River Citrus Museum?

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Vaction Planner = Me

Posted on July 21, 2007February 28, 2010 by The Jody

I’m the kind of person who finds planning a vacation as relaxing and enjoyable as going on one. Maybe more so, because when you are planning, everything and anything is possible, there are no lines or bugs or heat, no need to pull out the credit card every fifteen minutes, no maps to read or refold. I love trying to pick just the right hotel at just the right location. I could spend hours on travel websites looking at the interiors of hotel rooms. I’m smart enough to know that if a hotel’s website only shows closeups of the pillows on the bed or the bedside table, the room is probably the size of a small dog.

So every time we go to Florida (and sometimes even when we aren’t going) I am in planning mode times 12. I get books. I read websites (lots of them) and my favorite email newsletter from allearsnet.com (If you enjoy Disney and don’t get this weekly newsletters, your Tuesdays are a cold and dank place I don’t want to be.) Remember, one of my photos is on their website (scroll all the way down – the last photo on the page is mine.)

This time around, Mr. Dump asked to be the planner guy, and I said yes. So my role has been greatly reduced. I only got one updated guide (I’m saving all my old ones…some day we’ll read and look at the pictures and say “oh my gosh, it hasn’t been like that for 10 years!”). But I also got a book called Oddball Florida: A Guide to Some Really Strange Places (Oddball series). It’s really really good and now I want to take a trip to Florida and just hit all these awful tourist attractions! By the way, my new favorite street name comes from the location of the Water Ski Hall of Fame and Museum – it is located on Holy Cow Road in Polk City. Holy Cow Road! I want to live on Holy Cow Road!

So that’s all I have to say today. I’m still killing time. I can tell you, I won’t be finishing the Oddball Florida book in the next few days.

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Killing Time Waiting for UPS

Posted on July 21, 2007 by The Jody

UPS is bringing me that book that I promise I won’t talk about for at least the next 5 days. Okay, fair enough? I will not talk about it, and I would ask you to do the same with your comments. Nothing until, let’s say, Wednesday t 3pm. Is that long enough? It should be, even if you didn’t pre-order a copy or haven’t gone out to get one yet. And when I do talk about it, I won’t put it in the post title or the first paragraph, so you kids with RSS readers or what have you won’t have to drop me from your feed. Aren’t I nice?
Mine is coming, but I need to go to Target and you KNOW there will be a display of them. Will I have the self-control to not buy a copy?