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Something I Don’t Have

I keep hearing these radio commercials for a company where you can send “your unwanted gold jewelry” and they will pay you for it. So many, many things wrong with this. Where to begin?

Okay, first off, who has unwanted gold jewelry? Even the stuff I don’t love I will hang on to, because, well, it’s gold jewelry. Really, let’s just be honest and say the target audience is people who are very hard up for money and happen to have some that they can sell. Or worst case (and you know this is happening) some little crackhead is stealing from grandma’s jewelry box for drug money.

Now gold has value, and given the quality of it, you can bring it to many jewelers who will weigh the gold and tell you what it’s worth. Some of them will even buy it from you (maybe not for full value – I wouldn’t know, I haven’t been selling my jewelry). And you can go to a pawn shop for the same thing. In both of those cases, you are right there in front of someone making the transaction. At what point do you figure you’ll put three necklaces in an envelope, send it to the radio company, and they’ll pay you for 2 necklaces? They say that all shipments are insured, but how does that work? How can you prove that you sent three? Does the person at the UPS store have to sign something as a witness?

I’m sorry, but does anyone really think that sending something in the mail to the company name advertised on the radio isn’t going to be noticed by anyone handling the envelope? There are dishonest people everywhere. Anyone who has ever heard the commercial is going to know there is gold in the package. I’d say the chances of you getting ripped off (by any definition of the phrase) is pretty high.

So let’s solve that problem. If you have unwanted gold jewelry, you send it to me, and I’ll send you back an autographed photo of me and my dog. Because the autographed photo is priceless, you will definitely be making a good decision to unload all that “unwanted” jewelry in my direction. Oh, and if you have unwanted diamonds or sapphires, I will throw in a 2 minute phone call to your cell phone. I am so giving.

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Causing a Fumble

It’s Sunday in New England, so you either go to a fair, go apple picking, or go to a football game. We chose the last option (although we passed about a billion people at Bolton Orchards. There were so many people there (I assume because they had the hot donuts sign out front – the Lions Club makes ’em right in front of you. Mmmm) that it didn’t even occur to us to stop. Even though I love little lard balls.

My nephew is number 92. He’s amazing, even if they didn’t put him in enough for anyone’s tastes. Let me put it this way…they put him in for a total of 6 plays. Two of those plays, his name got announced because he made the tackle. What does that tell you about his mad football skillz? In this blurry shot (hey, a 200mm lens all the way out trying to follow the action? I’m only human) he takes down number 11 and causes him to fumble. Woo!


causing a fumble, originally uploaded by Big DumpTruck.

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I Wanted to Prove I Stayed Up

The look on Pap’s face mirrors how I feel right about now. And I want to point out that I did take a picture of him standing there in a jock strap but Mr. Dump posted the picture he took on his iPhone over on Red Sox Soul because he got to the computer first and I didn’t want you to think I was copying him.

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