Category: Uncategorized

3025 victims…that’s the official tally, but really, how many thousands, millions, are really victims? All of us, to some extent.

I had a job interview in Boston, stressful enough a situation that I was more focussed on myself than the fact that I was heading into a major US city on the first anniversary of 9/11. Well, that only lasted until some of the roads I wanted to take were closed down for various ceremonies. The directions I was using had me driving by the State House. That road was closed. I don’t drive in Boston, and don’t know what made me choose to do so today. It was a lovely morning, and I just thought it would be a good thing to do. It was and it wasn’t. I got lost, and the traffic problems caused me to be late. Luckily the woman I interviewed with was just wonderful and understanding. She actually talked me through part of the re-routing to find a different way to get to their office.

But along the way I passed a couple of ceremonies, which allowed me to feel I was a part of something, even if I was alone in my car. During the first moment of silence, I was in Concord MA, which is a place I always equate with the birth of the U.S., and freedom. There were cars pulled over to the side of the road on both sides of route 2. That impressed me. The woman in front of me stuck a flag out the window at that moment. Cool. I like people. In downtown Boston I passed a ceremony across the Street from the library. They had the word Peace written on large signs in multiple languages. It looked like a good place to be, to remember.

I wonder what it was like at Logan airport today…how the employees are holding up. In their hearts, they are wondering if there was anything they could have done to prevent those planes from leaving the ground, if there was a way they could have stopped it from happening. I suppose if there had been a way, they would have, but who knows. It’s just hard knowing the planes came from Boston.

I’m home now, catching up on some work. The wind kicked up and it’s angry, tossing my deck furniture all over the place. Maybe I’ll go out and kick a chair over too. Maybe it will be a good release.

I just haven’t been using my school supplies as much as I thought I would when I bought them. Maybe I just didn’t need a Trapper Keeper at my age. Oh, alright, I didn’t buy a Trapper Keeper. Do they even make them any more? Remember how cool you felt when you were in 9th grade, lugging one of those babies around? I remember. I just don’t remember using it for anything. That might have been because I never did any homework. I don’t ever recall sitting at the kitchen table, tapping a pencil against my forehead, trying to answer math problems. How exactly did I get through high school?

Day 3 of 90+ temps. Didn’t want to go all the way back to the beach today. I’m doing laundry, and Junior and I are going to go up to the top of Mount Wachusett and look at things with our binoculars. After we borrow them from my dad.

Yup, we did get to the beach! Something clicked in Junior’s head and he’s suddenly not afraid to get his face wet, plus, he doesn’t get water in his mouth every 15 seconds. We picked up a cheap boogie board at a store selling everything off before they close for the season and he was totally into it. Riding all the breakers right in to shore like he’s been doing it forever. I was amazed and proud. I’m just sad that the season is over. I guess I’m going to have to think about next summer’s vacation early. Obviously a beach vacation would be a good idea for the little fish. He wants to go back tomorrow but I don’t really want to. I need to try to find some work – maybe get some stuff mailed out to local businesses, and scan all the job websites. But it’s going to be 90 again. So I should go. I mean, how many more days will we have like this before next summer? And me without a job, so available to just go.

I think ideally we should have stayed over somewhere – it’s the drive that makes me not want to go back, but obviously that’s not in the budget. Bananas and milk are, hotel rooms, not. My other secret fear is that I’ll get some sort of bizarre sunburn, and I’ve got a job interview on Wednesday. I don’t want to look stupid. Why do I feel like such a heel, then. Shouldn’t my son come first?

Yowsa, headed out to the Sterling Fair today. I need to review, but I believe last year I promised myself I wouldn’t go back if it was hot. It’s 90 today. Oh Lordy, what a bucket of sweat I was. Left, came back here, and let the boy water the lawn using the nozzle on the hose. Actually, it was an excuse for him to spray himself. Very much fun was had.

Now I’m trying to keep him awake past 6:30. He’s SO tired. I am too, but I’m hoping to last until 7pm. Tomorrow, record-breaking heat. My plan is to go to the beach. Wish me luck.

A friend just sent this to me. I think there’s going to be a lot of “junk” mail coming in the next few days. People sending notes with .wav files of patriotic songs embedded, etc. The link to this page by the Blue Man Group took my breath away. It’s beautiful and painful at the same time. It’s funny, I’ve become numb to a lot of the emotion from one year ago this week, but every once in a while something I see or read does reach past all the scar tissue and hit me. That link did. A column James Lileks wrote this past week actually made me cry. There’s going to be some good stuff and some bad stuff out there, all “taking advantage” of all the emotion. Not necessarily for financial gain, but just to ride on people’s emotions. Try to stick with the good stuff. Like the two links I just posted.