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Ice, Ice, Baby

Sometimes, I assume I’ve already used lines in the title before. But as a creature of habit, I can’t help myself. Plus, it’s hard to come up with original, unique titles for every entry. What am I, the library?

Hmm. Maybe I should change the title to that. But it might be misleading, because if I rename it, the first paragraph won’t be true, so then I’d have to change the title again.

Do you see what I face every day?

We’re in such a lovely weather pattern. The weatherdudes promised us…promised us that the temperature would get above freezing so that the heavier rains expected this afternoon would be just that…rain. Right now it’s 29 degrees outside (Fahrenheit, Anji) so the 7+ hours of rain so far today have just coated every tree and bush until they all seem like a mere glance would shatter the branches and send everything dropping to the ground. This is indeed interesting when you know your drive home is on roads that are lined with lots of huge big giant trees. I am so looking forward to it. I hate hate hate driving in this weather.

So thanks, weatherdudes, for adding to my frown lines. You are so not getting a Christmas card from me.

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Cubic Zirconia

Cubic Zirconia

June: Can we talk?!

CZ: Oh, wait, is that a dig at my participation in the Joan River’s Collection for QVC? Is that how you want to start things? Not by pointing out how gorgeous I am?

June: Me? dig? Never! I buy all my jewelry from television. Or Sears. Or Target.

CZ: I’ve got some nice pieces at Target. Picture this: a giant pink stone in a fake platinum setting. It sparkles like a friggin’ son-of-a-bitch. That ring kicks ass.

June: Uh…

CZ: Why buy a diamond, mined by slaves, when you can buy cubic zirconia created in factories that break very few employment and child labor laws.

June: Um…

CZ: And your friends are probably too stupid to tell the difference between a real stone and a fake one anyway. What are they going to do, grab your hand and try to etch glass with it?

June: No?

CZ: No! Let them think you’re a hot shot big city reporter swimming in cash. Go big — the bigger the better. If you wear a 10 carat cubic zirconia, they’ll assume it’s real because it looks too fake to be fake. Right? Am I right?

June: I guess you’re right.

CZ: You bet your ass I am.

June: You’re not as, well, delicate as I had expected.

CZ: Is that a problem? I look good, right?

June: Yes.

CZ: It’s all about looks, Honey. I look like a diamond. I act like a diamond. But I cost as much as a bag of Chips Ahoy.

June: Ah.

CZ: You know, I don’t think there’s anything more to say. [Gets up and leaves the interview]

June: Okay. Well, then, thanks for stopping by. Catch you in the clearance bins, Miss Also-ran!

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If I Give You a Dollar, Will You Leave Me Alone?

I deleted one point four megabytes of spam from my comments text file last night. 1.4 meg. In a text file.

Why oh why oh why? And the thing is, this takes effort to do. I really don’t believe it’s automated – although I’m sure someone will tell me if I’m wrong – which means someone is actually taking the time to go in, open the comments, and leave the spam. Over and over and over again. Can it really be that lucrative to leave hundreds of comments in the archives of a barely-read blog? If it’s an actually person, they have spent at least a couple of hours over the last two months, leaving these things. What kind of return can they possibly get? Is this the result of all those anti-spam email bills?

Can’t these people just find normal jobs?

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Tree Me

We went for the fake tree this year. I know, I know. And again, I know. I love the smell of real trees too. I love the whole experience of going out to look for the perfect tree. However, the perfect tree does not love me. Last year I really could tell my sinuses were acting up once the tree got in the house. I have read that real Christmas trees have a mold factor, some being moldier than others, and I happen to be allergic.

So we got a fake tree that looks, I might add, really nice. I’m pretty happy with it, considering.

Plus it already had the lights on it, which is a bonus.

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