Author: The Jody

It’s 11:21am

Me: I’m ready for lunch. I’ve been ready for an hour.

Coworker: I already ate my afternoon snack.

I think it’s one of those days.

Mister Racoon, if you could do me a favor and stay the heck out of my rubbish, I’d be forever in your debt. You see, I startle easily, and the noise right outside the back door scared the poop out of me last night. I didn’t think to look over by the fence so I didn’t notice all the trash until I went up to bed and looked out the window. You were still there, I was watching you. Don’t think that having a cute face made me go all soft and think your breaking and entering were fine.

I picked up most of the mess this morning. All that for some old hot dog rolls? Maybe next time I’ll just leave them in the driveway for you.

Cripes, I invited all of you to stop by and I didn’t even dust off a seat for you. I’m just the worst hostess ever. It’s 3:00 and Lord knows I’ve probably missed most of you, and you know you won’t be back until I send another reminder. Now I’m sad.

But it’s one of those days, you see. Too many things to do, not enough hours to do them. Throw in some system problems and voila, I think maybe I should just go to the mall for a while.

But wait, payday isn’t until Friday. Scratch the mall. *sigh* The library books are 2 days late, too. See how it’s all falling apart? But at least I have some tortilla chips in the snack cabinet. Except the snack cabinet is actually the top of the fridge. But you get my point.

Right?

I have no idea if these two things are connected, but in my head, I’m saddened to think they might be.

Driving home on 495 north, right before the 117 exit, I saw a guy walking on the side of the road, putting on gloves. I see his dumptruck (woo hoo) parked up ahead on the side of the road. Now I had JUST passed a truck tire in the right lane…on the left side of the lane so it was pretty easy to swerve around it in the breakdown lane. So of course, it’s obvious the guy in the dumptruck is going back to retrieve this blown tire. At 5pm. On 495. Three lanes of traffic doing 65mph.

Okay, doing the math in the car, with all three lanes filled as filled can be, I’m horrified that this doofus is going to try to get the tire. I cannot conceive of there being a big enough hole in the flow of traffic for him to step out and lug it out of the lane. But then I got off at 117 and wished him the best.

About ten minutes later on the traffic report they say that two lanes of 495 are closed down near 117. Okay, goosebumps. I have no idea if the guy was involved, or if the tire was, or if it was something totally unrelated, but the fact that I’d given the whole thing so much thought, only to hear about an accident (that wasn’t there when *I* had just passed through) freaked me out. And right now I don’t actually know what happened.

Either way, I think the moral of the story is, if people can safely drive around it, leave the debris in the road and call the cops to come and handle it with THEIR LIGHTS ON.

Saw an article over the weekend (at least I think it was…maybe it was last week) that pizza is actually good for you. As in, prevents cancer good for you. Now they aren’t talking about that crappola cheese-filled junk you can buy at Pizza Hut, so just forget it. Papa Ginos is closer, with the thin crust and the not-too-much cheese. I actually really like my pizza with a thin crust, just enough sauce to color it, and a little bit of cheese. You know what the perfect pizza is? The Sporkie at Bertuccis. You want me to follow you home? Buy me one of those.