Author: The Jody

Now that I’m home, I am going to attempt to put my face on my keyboard as if I’m dead. I should point out that on the commercial, it was a regular keyboard, and this computer is a laptop.

jiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiijjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjju444444

See, that last bit is when my head rolled to the side because gravity just isn’t going to let you balance your nose on one key when you’re dead.

Okay, so thanks for playing Criminology At Home!”

That’s the sound of my head hitting the keyboard. I’m just plain old tired today. I think I slept well, but I wasn’t awake so I’m not sure.

I saw a commercial for CSI Miami (I think) where a guy died with his nose on the J key, so they could determine the time of death by how many pages of Js there were. Which is clever, and yet, I think it’s possible that the application would kind of max-out on you. Let’s assume it was Word. Well you know that after even a few hours of just entering the letter J, with no spaces or any other kinds of breaks, that at some point it’s going to barf on you. They’ll be a memory issue, or something. I know that the fact that there’s no break has to make it unhappy, never mind the constant entry making it impossible for the app to do any kind of auto-saving without turning into mush. So I’m not saying it’s not possible, but I am saying that having sold, supported, owned and worked with computers since the mid-80s, I think there’s a pretty good chance that 8 hours of typing the letter J is going to eventually overflow one buffer or another. Maybe I should have watched the show to find out how they worked it out.

Okay, I was going to conduct a test of my theory, but I couldn’t play dead and get my nose to stay on the J without my head hitting some other keys at the same time. And the people working around me are going to start asking if I’m okay.

The patching, she is done. This is a good thing, because I just read on Yahoo Weather that my area could get up to 3.5 inches of rain by tomorrow morning.

Yikes. Thank God it isn’t snow, but still…

By the time I finish writing this, it’s possible that Michael Jackson, that perfectly normal, boring “King of Pop” will be in police custody. Again. Forget Iraq, this is shock and awe, baby.

Okay, maybe not. I thought he should have had his butt tossed in jail for good the LAST time we were forced to listen to newscasts about his man-stick having “distinctive markings”. Please God, spare us those kinds of details when it comes to this humanoid.

I swear to God, I have never ever seen a bigger bunch of people in denial than his supporters, unless it’s the worthless parents who let their sons hang around with this pervert.

Being talented shouldn’t give you a free ride. Being rich shouldn’t either. But apparently fame and fortune have blinded people so much that they’d sacrifice their children with a “oh, he’s just misunderstood. He’s a sensitive soul.” Well he’s a sensitive soul with a preference for pre-pubescent boys. If a guy who looked and acted like MJ lived across the street from you, you’d never let your kids play out in the front yard unsupervised. Face it.

Anyone can “seem” like a really nice guy, but in the meantime, when you aren’t there watching, he could be doing coke, beating his children and cheating at Scrabble. Oh, so just because he never did this stuff in front of you it never happened? He’s a great guy so his kids must be lying?

We won’t even get into the story about that couple who fed their daughters and natural son but fed their foster sons pancake batter and nothing else. Oh, the 16 year old only weighs 40 pounds and hasn’t been to the doctor in over four years? All the kids weigh less than half of what they should even at the low end of the scale? They’ve all got stunted growth? Well, see, the KIDS have eating problems. This is from their Church pastor! Can’t be that the foster parents are evil spawns of Satan who got off on not feeding four innocent children (who didn’t have the strength to pull a trash barrel on wheels from the house to the street without stopping to take a rest). Funny how this was JUST the foster sons, who came from different families, but apparently all have the same eating disorders. I didn’t realize being systematically starved to death was considered an eating disorder.

Do I sound bitter? I am. As the mother of an almost six-year-old son, I’m furious that people like these are allowed to walk the streets because they seem nice. And now I can’t wait to see the hysterical fans of Michael defending him because he’s “misunderstood.” Let me just say that YOU, dear fan, are the one who misunderstood.

That’s the high-end estimate for patching the roof. The roofer mentioned that the builder should have put that black felt-stuff up on the roof first, which would have helped keep them in place. He also noticed that where there should have been tar on the back side of the shingle I found, there was none. Which may mean that the roofers who did the house in the first place didn’t do great work. Super.

He also said he’s done a few houses in this development already, which makes me feel like calling the builder to let him know. Not that I expect him to do anything, I’m not stupid, but it would probably be in his best interest to not use those roofers on any of his other projects.

Anyway, they are 25 year shingles, which is good to know, but I hate to think I got 25 year shingles and a ten year roofing job.