Author: The Jody

I have chapped lips to beat the band. They weren’t this bad yesterday, but man, it’s like the skin was replaced with a shingle off my roof. I happened to find some Aquaphor in my backpack (do you call them that? Backpack. I wanted to write napsack but then I wasn’t sure if it was spelled knapsack and that looked silly, and then I realized the whole word is silly. So backpack it is.)

What was I saying? Oh, between the clear Almay Pure Tints (if it’s clear, how can it be a tint? Hmmm?) and the Aquaphor, maybe, just maybe, they’ll get back into skin form sometime before the end of the week. I’ll keep you posted.

1. Nobody in my family likes green bean casserole, so I haven’t had it in years. I’m going to make some for me, and eat it while I search for clues that I’m adopted.

2. I can’t remember what 2 was supposed to be.

3. We made reindeer food today, so what more could possibly be left to prepare?

4. I talked Junior into watching 2 different versions of a Christmas Carol with me. This has helped me start to break his current greedy/selfish state that he’d best grow out of *very* quickly.

5. I just can’t fall asleep if my feet are cold. I’d like to thank the person who invented socks.

We have Mr. Rogers on here. Here is a quick summary of the neighborhood of makebelieve segment:

Mr. McPheely delivers a box of fortune cookies to King Friday but King Friday wasn’t impressed and told Mr. McPheely he could just leave them for others. Well, the assistant mayor opened one and it was the special silver fortune cookie and out popped a fortune cookie man who only spoke spanish.

Yes, I know.

Do you remember Calvin and Hobbes games where they would just make up rules as they played, and they both seemed like they totally understood?

Junior is doing that to us right now in the car (why yes, I’m writing this from the car!) We’ve been assigned numbers, and we have to remember our numbers because if he calls our number we have to handle the mission. But the numbers we get can be changed if someone is unavailable. Or something. Junior just said “I just got one of the levers and I got 14 points…we’re going to get 1000 points because I have speed shoes. If we get there in 50 minutes, we get another thousand points. If we get there in 60 we get a kazillion.”

I couldn’t make this up.

You can actually smell smoke if you open my wallet. It’s coming from my debit card. One good thing about not having any credit cards is that as of December 26th, I don’t have to worry about all the credit card statements showing up wrapped with shiny paper and bright ribbons. If I didn’t have the money to buy something, I didn’t. Not that I didn’t spend my fair share in an attempt to keep the economy running smooth and boost the Dow over 10,000 (please, any one of you would have done the same).

So tomorrow is “what can we wrap in front of Junior” day. Oh, and I told him it’s clean the house day because “you don’t want Santa to see our messy house, do you?”