Author: The Jody

My Matchbox/Hotwheels ice cream truck collection just doubled in size…to 2. You’re probably saying to yourself, “Hey, why didn’t I know that Jody had an ice cream truck collection?” and the answer would be “because I never mentioned it.”

I don’t mention it because I don’t want the world inundating me with ice cream truck-related crap…I only bought the first one because of the Open Letter I wrote the the ice cream man. When a reporter from some Midwestern state actually contacted me for an interview about the article (!) I thought maybe it was my claim to fame. Or something.

So now I have two, because I bought one on Monday. It’s actually pretty creepy. I don’t know if kids would buy this one. It’s lime green with a big clown jack-in-the-box painted on the side, and a sign on the top says “Treats for Creeps.” Uh, okay. It also says “I scream” on the side. Ya, I’d buy something from THAT guy.

My original truck is cool because the door slides open and closed, and when you open it, the little man appears in the window to take your order. Now that’s a cool detail.

So please, do not send me more ice cream trucks. I wouldn’t want to have to rent space to house the collection.

Me: So you’ve just given up. You’re never going to even try to wipe you’re own butt? When you are forty, I’ll be seventy-three. You’re not going to want that.

Him: When I’m a grown-up, like a grandpa, there won’t be anyone to wipe my bum.

Me: No.

Him: So I’ll have to sit on the toilet the rest of my life until I die.

I am just flat out of funny. I’ve got nothing to say. Well, I have lots to say, and it would get me the Nobel Prize of Mundane-ity. You just don’t want to have to deal with that. If you do, you’re in a worse place than I am, really.

So I’ll just tell you what I’m having for dinner tonight. I went to Bob’s Turkey Farm in Lancaster with my parents the other day, and I picked up these little flash-frozen Thanksgiving dinner thingies. I think I decided on that because the chicken pot pie doesn’t have any veggies in it, and I didn’t want to be responsible for making sure I had some on whatever day I decided to make it. I mean, I have veggies, but sometimes only canned stuff, if I haven’t gotten to the store. (Not that I feel the need to explain this to all you vegans who just paled and removed my site from your list of bookmarks.)

Anyway, when you go into their store, it smells like Thanksgiving! What a way to get you to spend all your money on turkey products!

I meant to post over the weekend but got all distracted by my efforts to stay away from the computer. So here are the things I meant to tell you but forgot.

1) Tax refund! I’ve known my accountant since he married a childhood friend of mine. He’s very cool, and does a very quick and thorough job. I’m a happy girl.

2) I found the most scentless unscented lotion ever. EVER. I am a freak about needing things to be unscented. Scents give me a sinus headache I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy, so I’m the kind of person who can’t really use hairspray, scented lotions and potions, and God forbid, perfume. This is a Jergens product in a tube (the only flaw so far, because you have to close the lid to put it down every time you squeeze a little out. But it’s so unscented that I put some on only one hand, and then made Mr. Dump close his eyes and try to guess which hand had the lotion, and he couldn’t tell. I mean, a minute after I applied it.

Okay, to make it easy for you, I found it on the web. Jergens Ultra Healing Intense Moisture Therapy. No scent! And according to Google, ABCNews.com rated it as one of the two lotions that softened skin best. I am SO excited to have found this stuff. I’m throwing everything else out.

I could use another 3 or 4 days off, but I couldn’t go without being paid. Stinks, really. I have great hope of someday having another full-time job with benefits, paid holidays and vacation time. I’ve been working since June without a vacation, and I’m starting to feel it.

I’d insert a *sigh* here but I’m kind of busy and don’t have time.

We got the Lion King 1.5 this weekend, and it was great. I am SO glad someone told me that it was a whole different take on The Lion King minus the whole “Dad was killed by his brother” thing. I have never been a big fan of the original just because it was so dark that way.

This one is great, funny, and I love the songs. Two thumbs up.