Author: The Jody

First, I wasn’t going to send out any Christmas cards this year. I barely sent any out last year, and I didn’t want to break tradition. Except we kept receiving them, and I started to realize that if you get a card from me every year for 20 years, and then two years in a row you send me a picture of your child/dog/swimming pool, and I don’t return the favor, you’re going to think that somehow you offended me and I hate you, or no, in fact, I never liked you at all.

So, after receiving the card from my sister with this cute picture of my niece and nephew, I thought “I can’t have our friends and relatives hanging them on refrigerators all over central Mass, but not hanging one of my boy!” So I bought a box of cards, which limited me to 18 people. Oh man, I used to send out twice that, but somehow, I had fallen out of touch with a couple of people and don’t even know if I have their addresses any more. I keep hoping they’ll send me a card so I’ll have the right address, but so far, I’m sure they are thinking the same thing of me. The thing these people need to know is that I lost my list of current addresses and for some people, the only ones I had were at least 3 or 4 years old. Seriously. I tore the house apart the other day. And then asked Mr. Dump to please get me an address book (nothing big and flashy) for Christmas.

So 18 people are getting cards, and if you expected one but didn’t get it, it isn’t that I don’t love and appreciate you, it’s just that I only had 18 cards and 20 photos (at 29 cents a print there) and 20 stamps. Yes, I know I can buy more of all of those things, but it’s also only about a week before Christmas.

I also didn’t get around to writing up one of those funny little letters to put in the card, so maybe I’ll write one this weekend and put it here on the site.

I was forgetting a group of people from my shopping list. See, my brain knew there was something wrong. Of course, I’m a little stumped as to what to do. You see, my son is in an aftercare program at his school, and that is run by about 6 college-aged (or post graduate) men and women, who are really great. I like them all, as does Junior. He’s sort of “assigned” to one of them for check-in and quiet time, but after that, he goes off with whoever is doing the activity he’s interested in. If it was more of a one-on-one situation, that would be easy. But it really isn’t like that, so I have 5 or 6 people to buy for.

I’m thinking maybe I’ll just give them each $5 worth of Dunkin Donuts gift certificates or something, but my fear is that I’ll forget one of them. That would be bad.

Anyway, I’m just happy my gift radar was working properly. They really are great with the kids, and make it SO much easier for me to feel good about leaving him with them every day. And he claims it’s his favorite part of “school” so it has that going for it.

Okay, this is the part of the Christmas season where I start to panic that I’ve forgotten to get someone a gift. I think I’ve accounted for everyone, but you know how it is. I know I have plenty of time left to take care of this, but it still nags at me. I sent out my Holiday Evil present as part of the Secret Satan gift exchange. (You know, gifts to bring horror and laughter. One year I gave out an autographed copy of Jamie Farr’s autobiography. I have received in the past the Henry Winkler version of A Christmas Carol, and Bill and Hillary paper dolls. You get the idea.)

I can’t say what I sent this year because I know at least one person who is involved in it reads the dump, and even if she isn’t the recipient (she’ll know soon enough, eh?) I don’t want to spoil anything. Let’s just say I’m really proud of myself. This was some good evil. It’s the 25 cent Candy Bar Salad of Christmas gifts.

I ordered something from Amazon for Junior’s teacher, and I’m hoping it comes in by Thursday because I’m going to be seeing her on Friday at the holiday play so I could give it to her then instead of sending it in on the bus with Junior. Of course, stuff I ordered from Amazon on November 26 was shipped on the 28th and arrived today so hoping for a Thursday arrival of stuff I ordered yesterday, even if I didn’t go for the free shipping this time, still seems unlikely.

Okay, I think I’m going to have to use this one next year because it’s so late in the season that it would cost me my life savings to put a rush order on creating and shipping me custom cards made with the following photo:

I took that picture the other day. It’s my new train set, going around my Dept 56 village. The train station I want now is of course retired, but I did find a set of three railroad figures. That’s one of them there, adjusting the time of the next expected train.

I thought this picture came out great, and wanted to make a Christmas card out of it. Of course, you’re supposed to use pictures of your kids on your Christmas cards, but the Dept 56 village was so much more photogenic than a kid who doesn’t want to sit still and have his picture taken. *sigh*

So lets pretend that this is your holiday card from me. I’d add some crappy background music, but I hate sites like that. Ho Ho Ho!

So tonight we were invited to my best friend’s house for their annual Christmas party. One of the things they do is have everyone bring a dessert, and then they give out prizes for the best ones. Last time, I worked really hard on some almond cheesecake squares (like, even made little leaves for the top) and was trounced by all the chocolate desserts. So I told my friends I was still bitter at losing the last time I went (kidding) so I wasn’t going to bring a dessert. This week I decided to invent a desert to bring, maybe something totally disgusting and chocolate-filled. Either that or a Jell-o(tm) mold with money suspended in it instead of fruit cup, you know, to bribe the judges.

But my step-kids are here, and my step-daughter suggested I go with my first idea – a bowl full of candy bar chunks. And then maybe put Cool-Whip on top. I mean, what’s better than candy bars, right? Let’s cut to the chase here.

So we went to Brooks pharmacy to buy candy bars and they were having a sale – anything by Hershey was 4/$1.00! Woo! She and I bought a ton of candy, and decided to put Marshmallow Peep-like Snowmen on top instead of the Cool-Whip. I thought this would be an amusing entry.

So of course, there was a woman who made a chocolate eclair ring (oh my GOD!) and two different trifles, made from scratch brownies, these little brownie cups with a pudding/cream cheese topping that was amazing, etc. etc. You had to write the name of your dessert (but not your name) and put a cup next to it. All the guests were given three pennies to vote with.

Well, as we’re leaving the hosts said it was time to tally the votes – my sister and brother-in-law are still mocking me for my entry, which we called “25 Cent Candy Bar Salad”. My step-daughter deserves all the credit for calling it a salad, by the way. Brilliant.

Guess who won. By almost twice as much as any other entry.

My sister almost peed her pants. I offered her the recipe and she said “No thanks, I already know how to crush candy bars”. I got this gorgeous Williams-Sonoma Cookbook.

See, all the kids weren’t that interested in Egg Nog Trifle, but man, they really did love a bowl full of pieces of candy bars, it turns out. And they got to vote too! Of the 9 little snowmen originally on top of the bowl, only 2 were left by 8pm.

I’m kind of embarrassed, but at the same time I laugh all over again just thinking about it. I suppose next year I’ll go for a regular entry just to give someone else a chance to win, but man, was that ever funny.