Author: The Jody

Sounds like a silly title, but I’m just thinking that maybe Tedy Bruschi’s small stroke was so small that it doesn’t even count as one, and that it won’t sideline him or end his career – although one has to think that if you are a 31 year old father who has a small stroke, you might consider moving to a less head-trauma-y field.

I am guessing his wife will be all over his butt for him to retire now, and I can’t say I blame her one bit. Even if they come back and say that this had nothing at all to do with what the man does for a living, is there anyone out there on the planet who doesn’t think that having a job that requires you to pound and be pounded might cause a head injury of this type? I thought so.

So Tedy, we’re all out here rooting for you, sending you health vibes, etc. And know that while it will be devastating to us, we totally understand that you’re going to have to do what makes the most sense to you and your family, even if that means retiring.

And I don’t mean pooping in a Honda. That would be doody.

Mr. Dump is part of the Jury pool in Worcester today. All hail the judicial system! He obviously doesn’t want to get picked for anything that last longer than 3 hours. I wonder about the people who get on these several months-long trials – what are their lives like that they can just be available for jury for that long? I know if I was on trial, I couldn’t get a jury of my “peers” if the pool was all people who didn’t have to be at work all day every day.

Speaking of which, Mr. Dump and I were disagreeing over whether or not he could wear jeans. I said no. I also pointed out that your appearance drops you into a certain category of person – would you want the lawyers choosing to make a snap judgment about you based on the fact that you dressed down?

I could be way off, of course. I’ve never actually been on a jury. Just near one.

Somehow I pulled something in my back when I was blowing my nose this morning. Is this even possible? I mean seriously, I blew my nose (standing upright, no fancy twisty movements) and as I did I felt the tell-tale *ping* of something going wrong. And then I moved and it hurt. And it continues to hurt, although because I alternated between trying to stretch it away and favoring it, the stiffness feels like it’s moving into my neck. And then there’s the headache that might be from a combination of hunger and lack of caffeine. This is just so fantastic.

The belly is MUCH better today, although there are twinges to remind me of what it felt like yesterday. Going into the cafeteria increased the twinges at the thought of eating anything they offered. I went for something fairly plain – roast beef on white, just because I don’t trust their turkey right now.

I will say that my heating pad (the kind you warm in the microwave) saved my life last night. It was the only thing to calm down my stomach enough to let me fall asleep. I brought it to work with me today but haven’t had to use it (knock wood) which is good because I was in meetings most of the morning, and I don’t like calling attention to myself like that.

So, is that enough about me and my stupid health for one day? Why yes, I believe it is!

I think I got food poisoned yesterday. I’m going to say it was from lunch, because I started to not feel very well before I even ate dinner. It only got worse from there.

I stayed home sick today, which is saying something, because I don’t get sick days. I just couldn’t see driving all the way in to work the way I feel.

So now you can all feel bad for me, and send me FTD “Gee, we’re sorry you have shooting stomach pains and intestinal distress” bouquets. It comes in a toilet-shaped vase.

Okay, don’t read this if you’re at work and you aren’t supposed to be doing anything that involves laughing. Mr. Crunchy grabs Valentine’s Day in public schools and gives it a good kick in the pants. I don’t want to spoil the funny, but the 2nd to the last sentence of the first paragraph made me snort in a terribly unladylike manner. Oopsie!

Junior saw filling out the Valentines for his classmates as a huge, oppressive chore. And a note to the people who made them: Please, for the love of all that is red and heart-shaped, if you are going to include a “to” and “from” space, make it long enough for a first grader to write in a name with more than three letters in it. Sheesh. Who do they think are filling these things out? Junior had to ignore the tiny spaces (his name wouldn’t fit in the from space) and just wrote everything on the back. In pencil. I guess the kids can feel free to erase and re-card next year.

I hope he gets some of those Nerds Valentines. I somehow developed a near-addiction to Wonka Nerds sometime last year. I am looking forward to seeing what he got, but I fear lollipops and candy conversation hearts.