Ahhh, it’s apparently cuttin limbs off trees day here in the neighborhood. Of course we won’t be using a chainsaw to do our chores unless someone gets wildly out of control mowing the lawn.
So I’m feeling little to no motivation to do yard work, but the soil and seeds are bought, so I can’t just leave them outt there, can I?
No. I can’t. Hey, maybe I’ll do before and after photos so you can shriek in horror and say to your children “THIS is what happens when you watch too much tv.”
Ahhhhh! The horror! See, I’m hourly, and no pay for no play. Well, no work. And I didn’t work last week so the nerve of them!
I hate being short a 40 hour check. It’s like a monkey on my back, man, I’m jonesin’ for some dough.
Maybe if I hadn’t bought all those containers of sunscreen, I could treat myself to a Pepsi Icee at Target. I filled the car today – 50 blinkin’ dollars! And you don’t even get those nice young men in the suits and bowties checking your oil or tire pressure. Damn TV Land for giving me a false vision of the petroleum retail sales industry! Goober doesn’t fill my tank for 2 bucks, I do all the work for half a C-note! And what about the days when you could collect a set of glasses by getting fillups? When did that stop being cool? I could use some glasses…
To Hector,
Thanks for your kind offer, but I already have a diploma. I earned it the hard way – but putting up with other teenagers for the worst 4 years of my life. And those were back in the rough-and-tumble days when they actually had a little section of the courtyard set aside for a smoking area. It boggles the mind these days, doesn’t it? Oh, and there were only two pay phones available to all 1200 or so students attending at that time (I think I had 400 kids in my graduating class, so I’m ball-parking. I learned how to do that in high school). And we didn’t even have a soda machine so they didn’t need to pass a rule that it would only contain diet soda. Of course, back then that would have meant Tab, Diet 7-Up and Weight Watcher’s Diet Chocolate Soda, I suppose.
Dear Listerine F. Wheresoever,
Good God, did your parents hate you? I can’t believe you didn’t change your name legally once you were of age. Seriously, I’m finding it hard to take your offer seriously. Well, that and the fact that I can’t read what appears to be Russian. Although it looks really cool – I didn’t know my email could handle those characters.
Dear Jeffrey Messer,
I don’t know if you noticed, but the email address says the note came from Dalton Castillo but you claim your name is Jeffrey Messer. Are you using a friend’s computer? So anyway, I’m not exactly sure what it is you’re trying to tell me. First you say “in bladderwort it’s aspect on pearl” but later you say “try schoolhouse it armco the befallen.” A little clarification would be good.
Dear Emilia,
Holy cow, you sent your email from a bigdumptruck.com address, but I don’t even know you! That’s amazing! But to get to your note, I will say I am a little concerned. I quote “I am ready to kill myself and eat my dog, if medicine prices here [link] are bad.” Oh my goodness, someone get the smelling salts, I feel a faint coming on! Please, kill yourself if you must, but don’t eat your dog! I am sure that the prices at that link are, in fact, good. I just don’t really need any today. I’ll keep you and your dog in my prayers.
Have a nice day,
Jody
My lawn isn’t just your typical spring mess. Huge portions of it are dead or dying. Something nasty happened over the winter, and we have to figure out our next step. We are not yard-working people. We don’t do well standing in the hot sun with rakes and shovels. We are not skilled when it comes to landscaping. I fear that there is no hope that we can get something green happening out there. So when should we throw in the towel and just replace the lawn with something else? Cement or brick come to mind.
Post-vacation, it’s going to take us a few weeks to get back on even footing financially. I keep forgetting that I’m not going to get a paycheck Friday (because I didn’t work last week). I hate when that happens. So it’s not like I can just dial up a landscaper to do it all for us. But I think that’s what we’re going to have to do. My across the street neighbor’s nephew has done landscaping for her, so I’m going to ask her what he’ll do and maybe get a price. I don’t know…is there a landscaper out there who will do all the work and let us just pay a little up front at the rest when they’re done?
See, I’m not starting with Part 1. That’s just to throw you all off. I’m clever, see?
I have about 2 seconds to write this before doing more catch-up work, so I’ll give you random goodies to make you wonder what the hell was going on in Florida.
1. Ate like a king. I will give a breakdown of the restaurants I recommend in a future post (I’ll probably put up a Disney page with a few pix when I get around to writing it) but I’ll just say that the males in the group really appreciated the fact that our lunch in Morocco included a belly dancer. And when she invited the kids up to dance with her, she included my brother-in-law.
2a. Even though I fell off and had to have an xray of my hand (nothing broken) taking the Segway class was really really really cool.
2b. Going to a clinic to get a hand xray is not a cool way to spend an afternoon, especially when the waiting room is full of people who you don’t want to sit near. And they are showing a gawd-awful movie on endless loop. Anyone else hear of “A Kid in Aladdin’s Palace“? No? I didn’t think so.
3. Went of Expedition Everest twice. Went on Rock ‘n’ Roller Coaster once. Thought the latter was the coolest thing I have ever been on, ever. Zero to 60 in 2 seconds? Holy crap. The former is also cool, but it’s not something I *have to* do again.
4. Finally went to one of the water parks. Brother-in-law and step-son did the water slide where you drop feet first at approx. 60 miles per hour. Didn’t get a clear answer on how much of their bathing suits they had to remove from their asses. I stuck with the tamer stuff.
5. Ready for next vacation already.
