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Open Letter to David Blaine

Dude, seriously, a nice anti-depressant and long hours of therapy will really help you out. I fear that if you don’t get the professional help you need, they will lock you up and throw away the key.

6 weeks in a see-through box with no food – what’s the point? I hear a big old cry for help, that’s what I hear. I mean, even if you don’t die, and that might very well be your goal, to die in a see-through box suspended above the Thames, what’s the point of having the world be aware that you’re peeing into adult diapers where everyone can SEE you for all that time?

There’s being cool and daring, and then there’s being psychotic. Some would say you’ve already crossed the line. And even if you succeed, people are going to assume that it wasn’t “real,” that you got food, or that there was something in the water you are allowed. That is the only way they should allow you to do this, otherwise it’s a very public suicide. We all get a front row seat to watch your organs shut down.

And another thing – six weeks is too long. We’ll all lose interest long before then. “David who? Oh, the psycho guy who doesn’t need to eat? Ya, call me when he does the ‘no air for six weeks’ trick. That’ll be a good one. Har har har.”

So come down out of the box, and get thee to a therapist. You’re like the kid in the playground who has to keep doing more dangerous stuff just so that the other kids will pay attention to him. “Look at me! I’m going to climb up on the roof of the cafeteria!” It wasn’t cool then, and it isn’t cool now.

Signed,

A concerned American

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