The Big DumpTruck

Throwing Little Thought Pebbles at Your Windshield Since 1996

Tag: News

Why the “Local” Paper is a Joke

Fitchburg Sentinel, this is why you suck and I will not even miss you when you’re gone.

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Vacation and the Swan Flu

I think I have swan flu. I’ve been reading about it in the paper, don’t you know. It sounds very bad but in reality, if you have swan flu you cough a lot and want to sleep in on Monday mornings. I have both of those symptoms. I’m very concerned that my swan flu will […]

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Oh, That Would Be My Luck

You know, this is why I don’t go skydiving. You can ask anyone, my sister, my husband…whenever we do something, I’m the one who gets the screwy equipment, or has the weird things happen. So if we all went skydiving, I would be the one with the dead instructor strapped to me. I feel horrible […]

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I Am Available to Take Bribes

I know you are probably figuring that with my recent $150,000 wardrobe enhancement, I’m probably doing pretty well in the cash department. Well, sure, I have $150,000 in enhancements, but you can’t take a pair of shoes down to Chilis for a dish of queso, now, can you? I didn’t think so. So in the […]

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I Have to Start Wearing Hats!

Saw an article on FoxNews.com (I know, I know) that totally enlightened me on how awful my life must be. BRIDGEPORT, Conn. — A judge has brushed off a Connecticut woman’s claim thatL’Oreal Inc. ruined her social life when she accidentally dyed her hair brunette with one of its products.Charlotte Feeney of Stratford said she […]

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Request for Journalists

We get it. Every day, gas his a new high, be it in barrels or at the gas station down the street. It’s no longer news, it’s more a persistent buzzing in our ears. Howzabout this: You report when it hits a new LOW instead. That will be something we all want to hear.

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"lost parent" typo on CNN

This was a story about a parrot that was able to provide the authorities it’s name and address. Keen eyes at CNN.com missed the typo shown here. I like the twist on the lost parent, because that’s a trick used to keep a lost kid calm. You don’t say the kid is lost, you say […]

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“lost parent” typo on CNN

This was a story about a parrot that was able to provide the authorities it’s name and address. Keen eyes at CNN.com missed the typo shown here. I like the twist on the lost parent, because that’s a trick used to keep a lost kid calm. You don’t say the kid is lost, you say […]

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Sad State of Affairs

Over on the Fox news website, they have a list of the “most popular” stories. I found the juxtaposition of these two headlines rather jarring. I don’t really have anything else to say about this that you probably aren’t already thinking to yourself.

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Words I Never Want Associated With Me

Okay, now that we’re over the lady with the toilet seat embedded in her behind, we get this lovely headline: “Woman Goes for Leg Operation, Gets New Anus Instead“ I’d rather have my ass absorb my toilet seat.

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