Posted in Shopping, stuff

Illuminati Bug Catcher

I was looking to buy a bug vacuum and this one had great reviews. PERFECT!

Bug catcher or travel cube? Click to view on Amazon

Bug catcher or travel cube? (Click to view on Amazon)

I’m glad I decided to read these amazing reviews, which were for multiple other products, but definitely not the bug vacuum. So either a bug vacuum can be used as packing cubes, or you pack the bugs in the cubes after sucking them up. I think I want to buy the other products now because I definitely want

  • A Guardians of the Galaxy poster delivered in a real cardboard box, not a cheap plastic tube. Wait, the bug vacuum has a plastic tube. The poster could be stored in that part?
  • Magic stones to ward off the Illuminati. Or support them. The reviews are unclear.
  • Travel cubes that will easily fit my underwear. I mean, the bug vacuum is a tube you could store things in, right?

I think the Illuminati should consider being paid pitchmen for important products like pickle forks, clip-on fans, steering wheel covers, or everyone’s favorite Illuminati branded tank tops and flip flops. 

In case Amazon straightens out the reviews, here’s an example.

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